Tuesday, May 15, 2007

In the Garden again

I am actually right in the middle of working in the garden and needed a break. I've been really emotional the past few days due to circumstances beyond my control in the lives of people I love. Every experience has been heightened, both joy and sorrow. I can't even blame PMS but I have been bursting into tears at the least little thing. Fortunately, in the midst of pain and worry, I've had some very sweet and meaningful moments with friends and family that have sustained me.

Working in the garden has become like running for me. It takes me out of my life and into a completely different zone. The tasks of gardening cannot be rushed, there are no real shortcuts, and the only means to the desired end is consistent effort. Somehow, reconnecting with that very concrete reality helps me transfer some patience into my very immediate-response-oriented way of living. Just like getting seedlings to grow, there's nothing to do but watch and wait and do what I can.

Progress in the garden can be maddeningly slow from a daily perspective, but this year, as I have perhaps my best garden ever, after 14 years of fits and starts and babies and weeds and uglies and seasons of life when I had no time to spend, the satisfaction I feel is full and complete, not diluted by the pain of years. So, when this season of suffering is over for my loved ones, maybe we'll all look back and hardly even remember the bad times. I hope so.

9 comments:

  1. I've sure been thinknig of you, friend. Thanks for your thoughts.

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  2. Very nice analogy. I hope everything works out. I'll be thinking of you.

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  3. Wonderful how soothing simply digging in the dirt, clearing things out, and making things beautiful can be! My heart aches for you!

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  4. I am glad your gardening brings so much peace... I am sorry you are going through a rough patch and I wish you the best.

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  5. Not only are you talented in the visual arts, but an amazing writer as well!
    Why is that the "sweet and meaningful" seem to be so intertwined with the "pain and worry"? Your wording makes me think of one of my favorite quotes from my favorite musical, the Fantasticks. The garden/season imagery may resonate with you:
    There is a curious paradox that no one can expalin. Who understands the mystery of the reaping of the grain? Who understands why spring is born from winter's laboring pain? Or why we all must die a bit before we live again..."

    Sending warm thoughts and positive energy your way...

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  6. I hope that your garden continues to bring you peace, sweet Kellie. I am sorry things are emotional for you right now. I will pray for you.

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  7. I am sending you an electronic hug. If there is anything I can do, or you need an ear or a shoulder, call me.

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  8. Watching and waiting can be so hard. I'm glad you have some dirt to dig in. My thoughts are with you.

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Thank you for sharing your insights!