Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Stuck in the Middle


I'm stuck between two dear friends who are on opposite sides of an issue. The conditions of the situation have caused me to give some serious thought to my tendencies-how I express myself, what causes me to argue with other people, how much control I have over my emotions, and in what circumstances do I feel that I must contend the correctness of my opinion at the expense of the unity of a friendship, an organization or the feelings of other people.
I know that this moment will pass, and my friends will eventually move on, but they will probably never be quite the same. I hope that I will be able to learn from the situation and take much more care about expressing myself. In many situations where I have the chance to speak publicly, such as during classes at church or in posting to my online book group, or even here on my blog, I seem to too easily start crusading and preaching. I take things so seriously sometimes. I hate that about myself and often wish that someone would just put their hand over my mouth. Seeing the damage that has been done here by well-meaning people doing more talking than listening convinces me more than ever of the value of seeking first to understand before seeking to be understood.

7 comments:

  1. very insightful. I too need to work on seeing understanding before seeking to be understood. What great advise. I hope that your friends figure it out, sorry to hear you're in the middle, that is a bad place to be.

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  2. That is such a hard situation. I hate that friendships can be damaged over stuff like this because in the long run it dosen't really matter. I have been in this same spot before and Good Luck it is rough! You are so great we all need to work on understanding before being understood! You are a great woman.

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  3. Oh, the follies of our language. If we could eliminate misunderstanding we'd probably get along quite well.

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  4. I'm sorry you are in such a hard spot!! It's hard to realize things won't ever be quite the same and I hope your friends will be able to patch things up as well as possible.

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  5. I find myself wishing the same thing. It is hard to be in the middle, and sad to know friendships are changing.

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  6. Oh, Kellie, I never thought of you as preaching or overly opinionated at the Nook. I think of you as quite thoughtful and wise. I wish I had the ability to express myself in words as you do! I'm with Cami.

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  7. I'm sorry, I would just NEVER change you. I need to have you giving me your honest opinion about things, that's one of the things I truly cherish about our friendship. I know it is SO HARD when friend things feel out of sync. I really hope it feels better soon.

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Thank you for sharing your insights!