All week my body threatened sickness. For 2 days I lived the life of a slug and watched TV in my bed all day because I was just that tired. On Thursday, the slug analogy was starting to feel a little too authentic so I decided to rebel and be the boss of my body. Thus for two days now I've been acting like I'm not sick or anything like it, at least when I have to. So, I've been doing ordinary things like making dinner, keeping up the house, and working on work projects like photos, etc.. It has worked pretty well. Well enough at least that for long stretches of time I forgot to note how tired I was or how all the other symptoms were making me feel.
It worked so well that today, in the ultimate act of rebellion, I made my body run 13.1 miles for the third organized time in my life. Right now I'm so tired that if I were to stop typing, I'd fall asleep on the keyboard immediately, but I have to say that it was great. It was just great in every way. It actually felt good to thumb my nose at whatever has me in its grip--a flare-up of anemia, a bout of depression, mono, the plague (Web MD's suggestion based on my symptoms)--whatever it is-and say "Sorry, I am the boss of my body, not you." Not to say that tomorrow I won't feel the fatigue and malaise, and not to say that every problem can be fixed by just deciding to act differently, but today I was in charge and it felt good. I was helped tremendously by the support and presence of the group of friends that trained together and helped each other get through the wanting-to-quit times. Even today, one pal stayed with me though she could have probably run faster and we finished the race together. This marks the second time that a race has allowed me the privilege to spend time with a friend overcoming all the challenges that the race offers. Both races will always remain precious memories. Today will also be special not so much because of the distance, but because of the mastery of self--an elusive goal that remains the great quest of my life. In so many other arenas, I am a great starter and not so great of a finisher. I'm great at being flexible but not so great at being disciplined. In contrast, when it comes to this race on this day, I'll always be able to say that I had the discipline to finish and finish strong.