The Post about the Polyp

So, if I were to say the words "garden-variety polyp," what image would come to your mind?  Well, a few weeks ago when my doctor said those words to me to set my mind at ease about the state of a recently discovered growth in a place that's not supposed to be growing things of any variety, I immediately pictured a tiny stalk of cauliflower growing out of the side of this particular organ. I know, I know. What if it had been me in the final scene of Ghostbusters-can you imagine? Anyway, five minutes later, when my doctor actually said that, had the polyp had a smaller stalk, she could have just snipped it off right there in the office, the image grew even stronger. Because mine had a "nice, sturdy stalk," she had to wait to harvest it until I was under anesthesia.  Is there a class in Med School about how to describe things so creatively? Add to the scene the fact that my doctor is a 50ish Indian woman with a fairly thick accent drawing a picture and talking enthusiastically about my polyp the way I might talk about knitting yarn and hopefully you get the picture. Okay, she never said the word "harvest," but nonetheless,  it was a memorable moment for me.  On Monday, when I reported for harvesting, even the nurses at the surgery center giggled when I told them and one said she would never be able to see that doctor again without imagining her snipping off tiny cauliflowers every time someone comes in for a polypectomy.  So I'm not completely weird, or at least not the only one afflicted with this type of weirdness (the garden-variety type). Luckily, it was just a garden-variety polyp, and the surgery was pretty uneventful other than feeling a bit off for the following 24 hours and now having a lovely bruise on the hand that had the IV. Even luckier, I'm not bothered by hospitals or needles or anesthesia, so the whole thing was blessedly easy. In the end,  I napped most of the day, was chauffeured around by wonderful friends and family, someone else cooked dinner, the kids didn't whine when I asked them to fetch things, AND  Eric made the kids' lunches the next morning.  Not bad for a plain old garden-variety polyp.