Thursday, May 06, 2010

Another Milestone

Today I'm thinking about how old I am, which is 43. I don't really feel any particular age-it occurs to me that years are very arbitrary and perhaps rather a crude tether for our earthly lives and that we are simultaneously young and old at the same time sometimes.  I think that must be why during some phases, time seems to go so slowly and during others, especially when it comes to my life as a mother, time passes so, so quickly.  Yes, that is such a cliche, especially coming from an older mom. All the young moms read that and think, "She can't possibly remember the relentless, eternal endlessness of kids not sleeping at night, or doing laundry all the time or never having a minute to yourself."  I remember. I really, really do.  But then I blinked, and here I am.

Here I am on the other side of what really does feel like a blink, feeling philosophical about my oldest son's biggest step yet.  It's the one that all the other steps have led to, in a way. It is the step that takes him permanently to his own, new home.  Yes, he is getting married. I'm completely happy about it because it feels right.  Some have already commented that I must be sad to be losing my son. Maybe it is my naivete, but I don't understand those comments.  It is not a loss for me or our family, it is an addition, an abundance, a harvest, a gathering, a glorious new page in our story! It's the goal achieved, isn't it? Didn't we all know from the get-go that our kids don't belong to us-that they are their own? We're the teachers, the caretakers, the ones who show them how to become their own, but we never owned them. Knowing that always made my children feel more precious, not less. I always was odd.

Anyway.

He has found a girl that I don't know yet but in whose eyes I see love and laughter and life. Those are things that my son has, so I'm confident in his confidence in her.  He has chosen to marry young and while still in school, which most people think is crazy, but which are things that I did, so even though I know what they're in for, I'm happy for their crazy bravery because they'll learn that happiness is a choice and there is no such place or time as "easy."  Why not learn together?

So, there you go. A new family. He asked her on a California beach at sunset and they are planning on getting married in August. It feels as miraculous and thrilling to me as the day he was born.

15 comments:

  1. wow!! Congratulations! And now you'll have TWO daughters!! My mom was always so happy to have more daughters and sons, as each of her children married. Oh, oh! and babies!!! Grand-babies! The kind you can wind up and give back! ;D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wonderful!! I still remember coming to see that little babe in your little apartment near mine, in a little bassinet. Your future daughter looks adorable. Glorious!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. As a mother your age, who also married young, with a son almost your son's age (I think-Teddy's 20), I related to this so much. All except for the son-getting-married-to-a girl-I-don't-know-but-seems-wonderful part. We really did blink and it was over, didn't we? I'm so excited for you and for them. Congratulations on your new daughter!

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a beautiful post Kel and so true. He is where he is because you taught him and provided him with a good example of what a family can be! I have a feeling your are going to be one seriously awesome mother-in-law!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yay! That is wonderful! And they look so happy!! I can't think of a better place to propose than a CA beach at sunset!!:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. how exciting! congratulations! oh, i feel the same about adding and not losing. i really felt like when each of my brothers got married, that my new sisters-in-law rounded out and completed our family - and finally balanced things out gender-wise. i look forward to the same with my sons and daughter. i hope you enjoy getting to know your first daughter-in-law!

    ReplyDelete
  7. congrats! That is so exciting! Is your 16 yr old excited to have a sister?

    ReplyDelete
  8. OH WOW!!! Congratulations to him, her and to you! You're whole post made me cry... (im emotional anyway... but you know...) Absolutely you are reaching a long attained goal. WOW! Unbelievable! What a wonderful day! They look so happy.... don't tell them what is to come.... they'll figure it out. :-) I was 19.... we had no idea... it's better that way. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Congratulations! The next step is accepting the idea that you could be grandma in the next few years. Ahhhh! But you'll handle it beautifully, like everything else in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congrats! That is so exciting, and I love hearing your write about it. She is one lucky girl to marry into your great family!!

    (Felicity taught me how to knit a month before I left MD and I really love it! I can't wait to come and learn from you when I return.)

    ReplyDelete
  11. They look so completely happy. What a great time to be a mom.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow- what a joyful picture! Congratulations to them, and to you, too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. beautiful post, kellie. i hope you don't mind i linked it in my blog.

    big congrats and big hugs! such exciting happenings! and that picture of them is darling.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow! I step away from your blog for ten days, and look what happens! :) Congratulations!! I definitely understand how you feel about it being an addition, an abundance. I just got a new sister-in-law in March, and I get another one in August. I love them both and am so happy for my "little" brothers. There's nothing like getting married young and poor. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. That picture actually made me teary

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for sharing your insights!