Back from Camp

Such an imaginative title, right on the heels of the last one. But thus I am, back from camp. I rushed back at 10 pm on Friday Night (arriving home around 1:45 am after dropping off a friend who rode with me) to get home for a seminary meeting on Saturday at 9 am. I was supposed to go running with my pal Amy at 6:15 and I even laid out my running clothes and set my alarm. Unfortunately I woke up with the sure feeling that if I went running on the proverbial empty, I would live to regret it. So I completely stood up Amy and tried to sleep for another hour before sending Evan off with Eric to his second swim meet. I spent Saturday till around 2 at my Seminary conference, then we went to see Wall-E (Awesome!), came home to a late-night dinner and then I stayed up late again to get ready for substituting for the music leader in primary. She happens to be my new friend Erin, and I love doing the singing in primary, so that was a fun labor of love. If only I'd had a couple more hours in the day.

So, except for that slightly jarring re-entry into regular life, camp was great. The weather was nice, our overnight hike went really well, it was great to be in the woods and the hills, away from the swelter and rush of suburban life. Sometimes all it takes is a little contrast to give the mind a little rest. Maybe I would get tired of it, but every time I see this now familiar view, I can feel my heart rate go down a few ticks and my mind relax a bit.

This is the group photo I took (about 95 girls plus leaders), as well as the group of 15-year olds that Eric and I and another leader took on the overnight backpacking trip. I really didn't do a very good job on the group shots. I felt rushed and there was a smudge on my lens that shows up in every one. I was very bummed about that, but life goes on. And then, my point-n-shoot camera forgot to bring its memory card on the hike, so I am waiting to get pictures of that from one of the girls. Fortunately I was able to get about 500 other shots of the girls at close range for the daily slideshow and I feel good about those.
Anyway, our little hike gang was a truly exceptional group of girls and it was a pleasure to be with them for that 24 hour period of time. It is a moderately challenging hike, about 10 miles into the woods, carrying fully-loaded frame backpacks. We left around 10:30 am on Tuesday and got back around noon on Wednesday. For many of the girls, it is their first time in a tent as well as their first time living without most modern conveniences except maybe a wristwatch and velcro, and bless them, they always rise to the occasion. It always makes me smile to hear the inevitable comment that going potty in the woods is not nearly as bad as they thought it would be.












As for the rest of camp, here are a few views. These are images from a sympathetic observer, one who holds girls camp in my mind as a bit of magic in the lives of young women. I know there is always drama, that not everyone loves camping, even in comfortable, dry, albeit buggy and sometimes mousy cabins, but for me, it is important for everyone to have a chance to get away from the constant self-consciousness of teenage life. There is value in being able to be be with the girls and cry if you want to and learn to get along and learn what you're capable of. So, I'll go every year that they think to ask me, and I'll enjoy every minute of it.
Now, back to my family to focus on Evan's birthday tomorrow and Jeff's return on Tuesday. Oh happiness!

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Off to Camp

I'm going up to camp with Sara this week. It is a church camp for girls and it is all kinds of fun. I am using the future-post method to say goodbye for a few days. Which is funny, because sometimes I go for weeks without a post and do nothing. I guess blogging has finally gotten under my skin to the point where I feel weird if I haven't written in a few days.

This week was really lovely, so much so that it seems a little dreamy-it seems like more time has passed since school let out than actually has. The weather was incredibly pleasant, we had some very nice days of things to do with friends, visits from nephews, and time to relax. Life was definitely good. I had some trouble with the USB port on my computer, thus I have no photos yet of my day at the B&O Train museum or Evan's first swim meet. Both were lots of fun, though. I also had a seriously fun afternoon with Cami's boys. I didn't take any photos of that day, but most of the fun was in talking to those darlings anyway, so I'll try to remember some of our conversations.

So, by the time you read this, I'll be gone to beautiful Southwest-Central PA to Blue Knob State Park for 5 days of teen-aged girl hi-jinks. Last year I was up at Camp and did the food. I had some pretty frenetic posts about getting ready to run the kitchen and cook for 100 people for a week. This year I'm helping out in two ways-taking photos all week as Official Photographer and leading 13 of the girls on an overnight backpacking trip. Getting ready was MUCH easier. I'm actually looking forward to it instead of having anxiety attacks. I love taking pictures and I love walking in the woods and this week, I get to do both! So, have a lovely week and I'll be back soon with updates of life around here.

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In My Neighborhood

Today, we had incredibly beautiful weather-low humidity, perfect temperatures, light breeze, fluffy white clouds in perfect sky, you get the picture. Sorry if you're not enjoying such perfection. This is rare around here, so I feel the need to brag it up a bit. Anyway, I took Evan and guests out for a walk around the block and here is some of what we saw:

Flowers everywhere! This is the time for hydrangeas, daylillies, all sorts of annuals, roses, etc, and the show was stunning, starting, if I may say so, in my own yard. I do love my flowers.

Smiles, both fake and real:


Shady yards and curious dogs:


Eight flags flying in just one short walk around the block. I took photos of all eight (but I won't make you look at them all) because I liked the way they looked in front of their houses, some with flowers, one with a Mini-Cooper, one out but rolled up on the porch, etc. I love flags and all that they represent.


Bugs so interesting as to stop our progress for further exploration. We still haven't figured out what they are. We found a whole nest of them. I love that they noticed these bugs and were curious enough about them to stop and look, then take time to try and find out what they are when we got home. That was a moment of motherly happiness. I know, I'm easy to please.


Our Neighborhood Bed and Breakfast. I'll bet you didn't know that I live about 500 yards from a historic house called the Commodore Joshua Barney House that was converted into a B&B a few years ago. This is all you can see of it from the street, but the house and grounds are really beautiful. If you look carefully during the fall and winter, you can see it just before you get off northbound I-95 onto route 32. In the summer, the trees kind of hide it.


All the beautiful older homes in my neighborhood that were not built by Ryland or Patriot or Ryan and are unique and well-cared for and give our little corner of Columbia so much character. Sometimes I even like the crazy house near the four-way stop that has been under construction for, like, EIGHT years, sort of the way you love your crazy uncle. These houses are not crazy at all. I just love them. Look at the curved porch on the one with the rolled-up flag. We also love that garage with the little cuppola or dovecote on top. It reminded us of an old schoolhouse.




So there you have the Huntington East neighborhood of the Village of Kings Contrivance, Town of Columbia, MD. It's been a lovely place to raise our family-it is a lot like us-quirky and simple. Maybe it is so lovable because it is so comfortingly ordinary.

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Then and Now

Last night, we got to spend a lovely evening with one of Eric's oldest pals. They were missionary companions in Africa. He married a Swedish girl and they and their 4 children have been living over there for many years. Every so often he has a conference for work in this area and so we get to see him. He's such a great guy and they have so much in common, it was fun to just listen to them have fun together. Today Eric is taking a very well-deserved day off to go down into the city and play with his friend. I hope they have an awesome day. They would not take a camera, so this will be the only photo I have of the two of them. What I love about the "now" photo is that they unintentionally wore matching outfits: blue pinstriped shirts and khaki pants, so they still look like companions. Too funny.

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10 am on Thursday

What I've done already today:

• Got the kids out the door to go to the school building so they can watch movies and help teachers clean for 4 hours. Couldn't they be doing that here? (Sam's day was legit-he still has finals.)
• Worked out-did my Jonathan Roche NO EXCUSES strength training workout
• Took a nap
• Watched the news and wept for the scouts in Iowa.
• Sent a reminder email about the hike I'm leading for our church's girls camp in a week and a half
  

What I'm doing now:

• Writing about my day and trying to focus my energy
  

What I should be doing:

• Practicing piano
• Doing the dishes
• Downloading photos from Evan's lacrosse party last night
• Taking a shower
• Doing yard work
• Finishing a lesson for Sunday
• Starting on the knitted socks I am designing
• Putting away the Giant Journaling stuff from two days ago-I always get motivated for a few days after we meet and do several pages-but it is living on my DR table instead of down in my craft area.
  
• Figuring out dinner
  

What I'll definitely be doing later:

• Going to piano lessons
• Going out to dinner with Eric's dear friend Paul who is in town from Sweden (As you can imagine, they don't get to see each other very often)

What I mostly likely will get done from the "should" list above:

• Start on the socks
• Practice Piano (I actually like doing that)
  
• Weed for an hour (otherwise we may lose the house-they are getting really big and I think some of them have teeth and claws)
• Shower
  
• Get the dishes done
  
• Put the journaling stuff away

So there you have it. Second Thursday in June, 2008. No matter what happens, this day will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience...

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True Confessions

Be forewarned from the title...

Yesterday I heard a song on the radio. I turned it off autoplay, but it is in my little music player at the bottom of the page if you want to listen. It was from 1986, in the spring. It took me back to my fourth and last semester at BYU and a man in my student ward (church congregation) we'll call C. I have to call him a man because he was not a boy or a guy. He was 26 and had graduated, worked for a couple of years and was back at BYU for law school. He rode a big motorcycle and owned a white BMW 7 series. He played rugby. He had already made the switch from cassette and vinyl to CD's. (Back then a CD was 25 dollars and a CD player was about 800.) He was incredibly bright. His answers at church and the way he expressed himself completely fascinated me. Sigh.

I am writing about this because usually when I hear this song, I change the station. And I don't sigh or reminisce. I tear up and then tear myself up. For years I have been filled with regret over my college years. I was not in particularly good form in college-suffered from depression, had a very low opinion of myself, etc. Went looking for love in all the wrong places. Blech. I have always looked at those years in terms of the mistakes I made and the fact that if I wasn't brilliant socially, it must have been all my fault. It never seems to occur to me that others were involved that were probably in about the same boat as me.

So what happened to C? Nothing. I remained fascinated with him, he was cautious. We dated, I went to his rugby games and we sat together in church. His roommates said he was smitten, I could never tell. I left with no real assurance that I would ever see him again. I came home and about three weeks later, out of the stinking BLUE SKY, Eric asked me to marry him. (Seriously, we never dated-we were just friends up until the day we got engaged.) I was so relieved to be rid of all the angst of college (and also I fasted and prayed about it) and he was such a safe, kind, faithful, good friend that I said yes. It was obvious how he felt and it felt right to marry him. There was no game-playing or guessing with Eric. A WEEK after we got engaged, I got a letter from C telling me how he'd felt all semester. Sheesh. I fasted and prayed again and wrote C back telling him I wasn't coming back to the Y. And all these years I've felt guilty for breaking his heart.

Until now. I don't know exactly what has happened, but over the past months, people and memories from way back have popped back up in my life in unexpected ways and I've started seeing myself as I really was: a normal, if slightly depressed girl, trying her best, learning, growing and yes, making mistakes, but not the jerk I always thought of myself as. I was pretty much the way I am now-a generally nice person who tries to do the right thing. Funny how clouded our view of ourselves can become.

ANYWAY, to make a short story long, when I heard All I Need is a Miracle by Mike and the Mechanics yesterday, I did NOT change the station. I loved that song-why deprive myself of it? I listened to it, enjoyed it, and thought of C and how happy I was when I was with him in the midst of a really difficult year. I wondered for a minute what would have happened if he'd told me how he felt sooner, then let that go, sent out a prayer of gratitude for those moments and wished him well.

Regret is overrated. Don't do it. Forgiving oneself and moving on is much better. DUH.

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North Carolina

Corinne has already written a wonderful post about this here, but I would really be remiss if I didn't share some thoughts about this delightful weekend. Our dear friends the Edwards invited us to spend the weekend with them at Clint's folks' house in Morehead City, NC. I felt really strongly about going because as my kids get older, I just crave special memories with them. This weekend did not disappoint. I'll just try to add to Corinne's photos and share my own favorite moments. The bottom line is that we had a really wonderful time. It was really an honor to be included in their family vacation plans, and we loved being with them.


I loved this old cemetery in historic Beaufort, NC. I wish I had more time to set up a shot that would have captured the light. It was just magical. Look at those luscious Live Oaks.

The weekend was filled with moments like this-my kids and Corinne's kids just being pals. They really seemed to enjoy being together.

Here is the blinking lighthouse at Cape Lookout. I wish you could feel the cold, stinging rain in this photo. We chose the only 6 hours of the weekend with less than perfect weather to get in a boat and leave the safety of the shore, but it would have been so boring if it had been calm and sunny. :o) No, really and truly, it was fun to rough it. Everyone was such a good sport.


This is Sara running to the beach at Cape Lookout. I kept imagining what it must have been like to be the lighthouse keeper and be all alone on this island. People tried to settle it, but all that is left is an abandoned town. It has such a sense of history and place. Well worth exploring if you find yourself down that way. The other thing I loved about this weekend was that we were on the Outer Banks on Memorial Day, and it was not crowded, it did not feel touristy and pressured, it felt genuine and relaxing and special.
See Tufters and Xavey all hunkered down? What brave children. Isn't the lighthouse grand? I just love that the coastlines are still dotted with lighthouses to guide sailors home.
Can he be any cuter as he tries to get warm and eat at the same time?

Saturday afternoon and evening found us basking in the sun as if it were a whole new day. It was an amazing change. That night we went to my new favorite place. I will drive back down to Newport, NC just to visit Miss Holly's Sweet Shop. That lady is made of magic and fairy dust and everything good and sweet. Her darling little shop is a place apart-a place to remember childhood and happiness. Bless her.
See what I mean?




Sunday afternoon, after a wonderful family dinner, we visited Fort Macon, a really nice park with a very well-preserved brick fort. The sign out front, which was a warning for parents about the 15-foot walls that are unfenced throughout the fort, was sobering and quite poignant in light of current events:


Here is our group. Picture me behind the camera, of course. What fun.




These show the beautiful evening we spent enjoying the beach. This is my favorite time to go to the beach. Everything harsh and hard and too bright about the beach in midday turns soft and golden and gentle. I love that.

This was the sunset that guided us back home for our last night in NC.


These two picture show Preston and Evan on Monday morning in the moments after Preston discovered that they were wearing matching outfits. He was THRILLED, and Evan thrilled to it right along with him.
On the way out of town, we visited a great local aquarium that was really nice. Here are the kids reaching out and touching skates and rays and things.


Even though our charmed weekend was at an end, and we hit mad traffic from Richmond to DC, this is how the kids spent most of the ride home, and friends, no matter how old they get, there is something magical about a quiet car to enjoy while mulling over a perfect trip.

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More about my faith

I found this article very interesting. It expresses in simple, straightforward terms the reasons why I live my life the way I do.

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Summer Adventure Challenge

I wish I were more of a leader than a follower, but I'm glad I have someone like Corinne to start a challenge like this to get me moving. I always do better with outside motivation, so I'm going to take the Summer Adventure Challenge. Here goes. I've lived here all my life, almost, and there are lots of things that either I haven't seen or my kids haven't seen so my challenge is to revisit some of the places my folks took me but that most of my kids have not been to. Mixed in are a couple of completely new places.

• 1. Fort McHenry (I haven't been since I was in school and 4 of my kids have never been.)
• 2. Cape May, NJ by way of the Lewes Ferry in Delaware
• 3. St. Michaels, MD
• 4. Go canoeing or tubing on the Monocacy River
• 5. Visit Polyface Farm near Charlottesville, VA
• 6. Try rockclimbing at Earthtreks

I'm excited to try and make plans for these places, and the last one is a bonus, because it is right by my house and not really an adventure per se, but it would be a new experience for all of us.

My kids will all be home for a few weeks this summer, and I've reached the stage of life where that will not be the norm, in fact this could be the last time for years, so it will be great to have these ideas to use to make some memories this summer.

A couple of these adventures might be for me alone. There will be a week the end of July when I think all of my family will be gone, so I might take myself a little getaway trip to Cape May during that week. My kids would not find that lovely, romantic Victorian town quite as interesting as I would. I'm picturing a night in a bed and breakfast with a lovely day walking on the beach in the morning and sitting with my toes in the surf reading a book in the afternoon. Ahh.

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