The Holidays

Christmas morning at our house,
as interpreted by Prisma. 

The holidays are just about over. Tomorrow I'll be taking down the decorations and cozying up the house for winter. I'm also going to start on sending some cards and letters. I always make a good try at that in the first weeks of the new year.  Later in the week, I have a something special coming--I'm attending a knitting retreat as a regular old student, not as teacher, staff, or photographer. I'm really hoping it will be lovely. Sometimes I like it better when I'm working and not just relaxing, so it will be interesting to see if I can turn my mind to engage in a different way--to receive and experience rather than facilitate so others have a good experience.  Wish me luck.

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Solstice Approaches

I have been noticing the short days lately. Darkening afternoons turn to twilight by 4:30, with night closing in just a few minutes later. The shortest day here in the Northern Hemisphere will be next Wednesday. The moment of the solstice, the "standing still" of the sun before it turns toward summer, will be at 10:44 am GMT. That's 5:44 am EST. We have about 9 hours of daylight these days to get all the things done.

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My 50th Christmas Dawns And I Post All the Pictures

I haven't been keeping a record of all my Christmases, so this being the 50th one isn't hugely significant, but it crossed my mind this morning as I woke early and put on some music. I am back in Utah, where I would have spent my very first Christmas, so there's a little symmetry for you, but other than that, the only thing to remark on this morning is that it's a White Christmas, which doesn't happen too often in Maryland. I woke at 6 am and heard the plows out, which means there was fresh snowfall in the night.

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A Beautiful Dichotomy

Whoops, thought this posted last week. This is from early Tuesday, December 15, just before we left for Utah.

Today, my daughter and I leave for another big trip. This time last year I was gone from home for 6 weeks exactly. This time it will be a little less than that, about 28 days.

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Joy rises in me, like a summer’s morn...

 My title is the second-to-last line of a poem called A Christmas Carol by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. It is about the birth of Christ through the lens of Mary's experience. The mother in the story of Christmas. I had a Mother's day on this Christmas 2012 and wanted to write a few things down to remember.

• Not all my children were home, but I knew that everyone was happy and where they wanted to be. That mattered a lot to me. 
• Through the magic of technology, I was able to talk to and interact with all my kids. That was truly wonderful. 
• Those of us who were here in MD spent time together that felt authentic and meaningful as we went out for dinner on Christmas Eve and helped each other with cooking, cleaning, wrapping and all other preparations. I really felt a sense of unity and sweetness, which I treasure. My kids always jump in and work together nicely when I ask them to, and it warms my heart. 
• I feel so blessed that my kids are good friends. Both to each other and to others. I love watching them with the people outside our family that they love. It makes me happy that our house was for them a launchpad to the larger world, a world that brings them joy. That's part of my job as a mom, to help them want to engage, to feel the world is a good place, and to not fear to leave home. 

• I got to consider the meaning of gifts at Christmas as I came to terms with the fact that my kids in California had no gifts to open from me on The Big Morning. My box was mailed on Dec. 7 but was not there. It was hard to think about them having no tokens of my affection to pass through their hands on such a day as Christmas, but they were quick to reassure me that it was okay. I had some seriously sad moments about it, and was grateful to those who understood and really tried to comfort me. They were all so kind to me in my irrational sadness. Naturally, the gifts arrived just after Christmas and all was well, but I'm glad for the chance to think about all these things we wrap up and send and worry about and what they really mean. (I realized they really do mean love, but there are some other things mixed in that could stand to be evaluated.)

• My daughter asked if we could do a service project together as a family, which request meant so much to me. We were too late to sign up for anything big, but we did put some effort into a couple of small, simple things, and those little moments do stand out and sparkle in my memory. I can hardly express fully why it was so touching to me that she wanted to do that, but it's wrapped up in the fact that she's becoming such a wonderful young woman and this was a sign of what she values. 

In summary, it's been a time of cozy closeness and filled up my senses in a really satisfying way. I love hearing my young ones laughing together as they make cookies and clean up the kitchen and just chat in the family room. It's perfect to me. Since they've been home, we haven't "done" anything. No museum visits, no outings, no super-planned days. Just us. Together at home.

I can't even think of anything better.

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All Kinds of Days Since My Last Post

After that tender funeral, life went into a kind of suspended animation for the holidays. Christmas, New Year's, family time, late nights, sleeping in and the general relaxed routines of the last few weeks are all blended together into one, long, sweet, twinkly memory.  Now the new year is properly here and I feel like I never gave the old one a really good send-off.  Or told about was was actually a very happy late December. So here goes my long, sweet, twinkly post:

Jeff and Ashlyn came from Utah to stay for the whole break, which was a delight. She's just a doll--so game to come and spend two weeks at her in-laws for heaven's sake. That's a scary prospect at best but she was awesome. I admire her as a person more and more as I spend time with her. She is smart and fun and oh-so-good for my boy. He's awesome, too, but I already knew that. Ashlyn continues to make us smile as we build our relationship with her, and may it ever be so--yes please!

One sweet bonus of that funeral was three days with my sister from Arizona. We had some happy times together and I'm glad she could come all this way to see this good friend who had lost her dad. This sister is fifteen years younger than me and when she went with me to help me pick out new glasses, the optometrist thought she was my daughter. It has happened often throughout that girl's life. No worries, because if that means I resemble her in any way either physically or in spirit, I'm good with that. Because she is wonderful and I love her so very much.

Christmas itself was full of the anticipation and satisfaction of gift giving including surprises for everyone Even if they had done their own Christmas shopping, I managed to sneak in a few unexpected goodies. The big one for me was a snazzy convertible roadster--Eric picked it out as a surprise and it is SO fun to drive! We were already planning on getting another car, he was just nice enough to take care of the choosing and legwork and form-filling-out all by himself. Didn't he do a good job?  Oh how we love our sporty Zoom Zoom car!

Santa came to us on Christmas Eve! 

Three Kings with Attitude

During the week between Christmas and New Year's Day, there was much of sleeping in, dining out (CheeburgerCheeburger, Cafe Rio, Fogo de Chao),  playing games, working, watching of television, talking and visiting, shopping and a couple of city outings. We made so much incredible food that I made everyone go for a walk in the woods at one point so we wouldn't actually explode from just sitting and eating for days at a time. All in all, I think it was good times. Everyone is smiling in all the photos at least, so we'll take them at face value. Seriously, it was a joy I can hardly express just to hear the kids all laughing together so often. Priceless. Amazing. Worth every minute of the last 25 years of motherhood. 

Since I got my new phone in October, I have gotten into iPhonography and am having a blast figuring out how to get some really great shots with a camera that fits in my pocket and is slimmer than a candy bar, that also happens to be my phone, my calendar, and my music player. Pretty amazing, really. It is a very nice alternative to my DSLR, much as I love the big guy. There is virtually no shutter lag on the phone camera so it's sometimes more useful and fun than my little point and shoot. As they say, the best camera is the one you have with you, and I always have my phone. Here are some shots from a frosty morning walk in December. I was enjoying the rising sun shining on the crystals that had formed on every edge and thinking, dang, I wish I had my camera, then I realized that I did have a camera! I'm getting better at framing with the live view (hard for me since I'm used to a viewfinder), and the proportions of the images, but I like the quality a lot and think these photos are just dandy for what I'm using them for. 

One early morning just after the new year, I left the house early to go do some cleaning at the temple and was rewarded with this view as I arrived. It was worth the effort just to see this grand building in the rising sun.  Once again, iPhone to the rescue and I got the shots. 

 And so we arrive at today. 2012 is here. During this year my oldest son will turn 25, I will turn 46, my dad will turn 69 and my grandmother will turn 90. My 4th child will graduate high school. My youngest child will turn 16. Time dances on in the most surprising way.  I am blessed with all I could ever ask for and am glad I took the time to write all this down.

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