Christmastime Fun

Our Group
Originally uploaded by lelliekin

The day is getting close, the traditions have been kept, and fun has been had. I've gotten lots of great cards from friends far and near, been blessed by so many yummy goodies, and enjoyed the season greatly. Last night we spent our family night with dear friends visiting the lighted splendor of the Washington D.C. Temple. It was so incredibly cold, but somehow even that was fun-to be all bundled up seems more festive than some years when we've gone about our Christmasy fun in shorts, for crying out loud. It was special to share this particular tradition with people we love so much.

Our family's gift traditions are pretty simple (we splurge on birthdays instead), so my shopping has been minimal, and I feel like the season has gone pretty much how I would want it to. Every year I wish I had reached out more, but I think it evens out. I've never successfully incorporated making or delivering lots of treats into my holiday traditions, nor do I give gifts to everyone I know. I so appreciate those who do and I have a feeling there will be seasons in my life where that might happen. I have been successful at getting past the guilt I used to feel that would actually interfere with enjoying the generosity of others. Now I just receive it with love and joy and know that I'll have the chance to give in some other way and at some other time. That is one nice thing about getting old. Guilt and comparison to others hold absolutely no appeal any more, and I have learned to find better directions for my energy.

I do have a bit more shopping to do, but it will actually be nice to spend the evening out with Eric tonight. We haven't had much time together at all lately due to this being his absolute busiest time of year both at church and at work. If it takes us 30 minutes to get out of the Target parking lot, it will just be that much more time to chat.

Best of all, Jeff comes home tonight, and we spoke briefly with Johnathan to make arrangements for his Christmas day phone call from Chile. Joy!

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Runaway

I was a runaway this weekend. A truant, an escapist. I was a veritable Houdini from my everyday life. It was wonderful and restorative and worthwhile. I have not a single photo because I once again, could not find my camera charger in the place where it lives and in none of the places I thought it might have visited. So, I have photos from friends, and lots of memories in my mind.

I went to the Seattle area to see one of my dearest, longest-known pals, and in the bargain got go to meet in person a couple my favorite blogging and bookclub friends. It's an internet story all the way around.

My friend Sara emailed me in October with the latest Ding update from Southwest and there was a really good price on flights from Baltimore to Seattle. (She is that kind of pal, she keeps track of my airport on Ding so we can see each other.) I've been feeling run a bit ragged lately, so the thought of a weekend away, especially with her, was very enticing. Eric, as usual, was completely supportive of this. (He's that kind of hubby, he knows it's good to keep me sane.) In just a few clicks, I was all set.

I thought that was going to be it and I was pretty excited. Then I figured out that the person I drew for our online bookclub's Secret Santa lives about an hour from my pal. So I worked it out with her husband to meet her and deliver her Secret Santa gift in person. I had never met her, I just knew I really liked her and her husband's comments on our bookclub forum, plus she has become one of my blogging friends and always makes me glow with her wonderful friendly ways. She made me glow in person, too. Her smart, kind, and warm internet presence in my life was the perfect introduction to her even smarter, kinder and warmer personal presence. I'll always treasure the moment of our meeting and the sweet hour or so we had to talk. Her husband is also pretty special, because my plans became a bit flaky and he was utterly kind and calm about the whole thing. It was a highlight of the weekend for sure.

As for my friend, she's the one I went to NYC with last fall. We have a long history together and I'm just so glad to have her in my life. Being with her is easy and right--fun, happy, and uplifting. It's a yin-yang thing, for sure, because she is elegant and soft-spoken and graceful where I am sarcastic and talk too much and laugh too loud, and everything good I know about how to dress I learned from her. I have many WWSD moments in the store. Mostly, I love her heart and her faith, plus her amazing grown sons are the ones I look to to give me hope about parenting. This time, we drove around on the Kitsap Pennisula. The weather was iffy, so after we visited the Hebers, we ended up staying in a little town called Poulsbo-a Norwegian-settled fishing town with a charming city center. I went to the wonderful Liberty Bay Books and lots of amazing art galleries and gift shops. I found Norwegian gifts for my part-Norwegian mom and lots of other lovelies for loved ones. There were carolers walking around and a horse-drawn wagon with sleigh bells going up and down the street. It was wonderfully festive. For us, leisurely shopping like this is a way to connect, to find out what the other likes and is interested in, and to have all that time to talk in between.

So, now I'm home, with enough memories of friends and and mornings of waking without an alarm and tall pines and mountains in both directions and misty harbors and Mt. Ranier and seeing 4 of the Cascade Volcanoes in the sunset from the plane to get me by until the next time I can get back to my beloved Pacific Northwest.

The ending note though, must be that I'm so glad to be home-that's the real beauty of a trip like this, I remember that I really do miss my family and even my run-ragged life when I'm gone.

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Yays and Nays

The Drama That is Life...











Yay!

• I got to go to an awesome party on Saturday night and hang out with friends and laugh and feel the true warmth of the holiday season. It was awesome.
  
• Two ortho appointments that have been rescheduled more times than I can remember finally happened yesterday. Sara and Evan's teeth are holding steady and, in the words of the Doctor, "They look great!" Evan got his top permanent retainer taken off and will be fitted for a regular retainer in a couple of months. He loves being able to feel the roof of his mouth again.
  
• We found Sara's plaster mold of the inside of her mouth for her lost retainer and even though they did a new impression, they didn't charge us because we had the old one with us. Small victories sometimes mean the most.
  
• Sara saw a psychiatrist yesterday and has a preliminary diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder. She is happy to be trying Concerta and excited to think that certain challenges may be eased in the near future. When I asked her today after school if she felt any changes, she declared that she feels like she has superpowers and can now fly. Tee hee. We are checking to see if that is a known side effect of Concerta.
  
• I got my two main packages that need to be sent for Christmas wrapped, packed and in the pick-up queue for tomorrow. That's a biggie for me.
  
• I was able to get some more work doing sample and test knitting.

Nay...

• Sara lost her retainer as referred to above. I had bought the insurance. They decided she needs a new kind of retainer so the new one is not covered by the insurance because technically, it is not a replacement. I am appealing the decision. For that reason, I can insert a small "yay" here: I didn't have to pay yesterday, which would have meant Sara was getting a retainer for Christmas.
• Sara, being a healthy girl, has not had a prescription filled all year, which means she hasn't met her individual prescription deductible, which means it is a really good thing I didn't have to pay for the retainer so that I could buy her meds at full price. I promise I'll give her something else for Christmas.
  
• Seminary class this morning went badly. The DVD didn't work, the kids were grumpy, a handout that I was planning on using did not work the way it was supposed to, which completely threw off my rhythm, and it was just really sad. Usually I love teaching this class, but this was discouraging. I wouldn't worry about the odd off day except that it's been happening more this year than ever before. Maybe I've reached my expiration date after 6 years.
  
• I had to miss a party today because I was working on tomorrow's seminary lesson. (I skipped my run this morning, too.) It took me 4 hours to finally feel like I got it right, especially since I'm trying to avoid a repeat of today. From all accounts it was a really fun party and I'm determined not to be sniffy about missing it since I just went to a party on Saturday.
  

Okay, I'm going to quit while I still have more Yays than Nays. Better to keep on the sunny side.

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Book Review

Socialism is Great! by Lijia Zhang
Memoir
Adult Non-Fiction

The title of this book comes from a Mao-era refrain sung to engender national pride. What it is actually about is a young woman's coming of age in the 1980's in a large city in China.

Lijia is near my age, and I really loved reading a sort of parallel story of what a girl on the other side of the world was doing while I was over here in America trying out for plays, learning to drive and living in relative luxury in a huge old house on a tree-lined street. I could choose what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go and who I wanted to see. I rode my bike because I wanted to, not because it was my only mode of transportation. This young woman really did not have those freedoms. Between the expectations of her family and the environment of post-Mao China, her options were very limited-she had to work in a big factory, fight for the opportunity to get higher education and had little choice in where she lived, yet she saw more to both her own potential and that of her nation. Of course, we also had things in common. She tells about her relationship with her sister, her various loves and losses, how she liked to dress cute for outings, and loved to go out and explore with her friends.

It was stunning for me to read about the tenacity and strength of character it took for this young woman to be true to herself and have dreams of her own within a system that specialized in quashing individuality and handing out state-mandated dreams, then expecting people to be happy with their lot. Lijia tells her story with passion, honesty and attention to detail. She finds beauty among the ashes and recovers from devastating losses. Part of her journey was a single-minded effort to learn English, so this book is not a translation. Her command of the language is impressive, but it retains something in the syntax and word choices that subtly reminds the reader that this is not an American voice. All the better. Because she tells this story in a simple way, with no thought of self-aggrandizement, she actually becomes heroic in her small victories. She won both my heart and my admiration. If I ever met this woman, I would want to be her friend.

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Second Place!

Sam's team, the Hammond Bears, came in second at this big tournament down in Calvert County (about 2 hours away from home). Sam ended up 6-3 for the tourney, which is a great start to his season as a junior wresting varsity. Click on it to see his smile. He's the one holding onto the right leg of the trophy. Wrestling is a tough sport, but moments like this help make it worthwhile.

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Props to the Offspring

Here are a few things I'm feeling fiercely proud of right now:

• Sam just won 3 out of 4 matches in his first wrestling tournament of the year. He is really focused during the wrestling season and I'm glad for him to see some results.
  
• Our dishwasher is not working, and last night, when we realized the sad truth, Sara and Evan voluntarily organized a dish-washing line and worked like a couple of professionals to get the dishes washed, rinsed and dried in record time. They took it on like a project and there was this wonderful energy and sense of shared purpose. It was just dishes, but it was a seriously cool moment.
  
• My kids always help bring stuff in from the car. All I have to do is come in the house and say "A little grocery help, please," and every one of them will get their shoes on and come help me. They also help put it all away. Really.
  
• They have put up with me teaching seminary (a daily scripture study class for teenagers that meets in our home at 5:50 AM-nope, not a typo) for 6+ years. This means that I'm often tired, I always have a lesson to prepare, and the family room usually looks more like a classroom than anything else. Yet, they still help me set up the chairs and tolerate me taking 20 minute mini-naps at odd times.
• They love Christmas and I found out today that they feel a certain family pride in the fact that I collect Nativity sets and have over 30 of them displayed around the house. Today they were joking that next I'll find a way to display a nativity on the dog. Hmm, I'll have to think about that one.
  
• They will gather around me to sing Christmas songs together while I plink badly on the piano for accompaniment.

I'm feeling very, very lucky as a parent right now. These feelings have come, most ironically, after a freakishly busy week filled with a lot of frustrations and opposition. Sometimes it really is in the crucible of challenge that true character is revealed. I'm grateful for the people my kids have become. As I said in my Christmas letter this year, they show every evidence of actually surviving my continued attempts at parenting. Amazing.

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Shopping Fun

Well, I did my shopping and decided to help the economy after all. Just a little. We all have to do our part, you know. For inquiring minds, the catalog that sent me the gift card is Sundance. It was started by Robert Redford and has all sort of gorgeous stuff that makes me say, "Oh, that is so me!" All sorts of artsy and quirky and ridiculously expensive. But, when you add together a sale, a gift card, a free shipping code and shopping the clearance section, I did pretty well. It's a good feeling.

No smugness intended.

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Something fun from Simple Mom

One of my favorite daily reads is SimpleMom. Right now she is doing a very fun giveaway of some beautiful jewelry that not only puts lovely things into her readers' hands, it promotes businesses run by moms, which is cool. To enter, she asked readers to tell about family heirlooms that have been passed down. I have two beautiful knitted dresses that my grandmother made. Of course, me being a knitter, I am especially appreciative of them. My sister and I wore them when we were wee babes, and our kids have worn them. I think I can come up with photos. I'll be working on that. So, if you'd like to check out this post, enter and enjoy thinking about your family treasures.

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Reality Comes Crashing Down

Okay, so yesterday, I wrote that the economy had not yet affected my life directly. I probably sounded smug about having been steeped in the principles of provident and frugal living all my life. I didn't mean to sound smug if I did, nor did I mean to imply that Mormons have the corner on the market of sound money management. They/we surely don't.

Today though, all those statistics about the importance of the holiday shopping season to the economy have become real. The true gravity of the downturn presented itself to me in a rather shocking way yesterday. Brace yourselves.

I haven't done much internet shopping over the past few months, mostly because I have kids in college. Yesterday, my favorite drool-over-but-only-shop-the-clearance-section catalog ever sent one of those "We miss you" cards. Usually, it's a discount code. That would have been cool, but for this catalog, probably not enough to tempt me. Not this time. This catalog however, . . . w a i t f o r i t. . . in their desperation to just get me surfing their website, they sent a full-on 50 dollar gift card. No strings attached-it's not a "spend 300 get 50 off" card, it's just a big fat real one.

Bless the retailers' hearts, but this makes my day. I love the challenge of spending ONLY the gift card with no overflow. I won't be helping the economy AT ALL, but I will have fun.

Sorry if I sound smug.

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Completely Blocked

I've written and discarded at least 7 posts over the last week. They all seemed so lame. They were all about nothing, which only works if you're a writer for the Seinfeld show. Which is off the air, so that won't work. Today I'm going to keep writing and post it anyway, and maybe if I keep doing it, I'll be able to write again. Bear with me as I work past whatever is blocking me. It might not be pretty.

To add to that, photography is really frustrating lately. I either have a lens issue or a camera issue, so fully half of all the photos I'm taking have this slight, out of focus halo around every object. I have it narrowed down to a few variables, and I think it might be one of my lenses at a certain range of f-stops, but then it will happen unexpectedly at another time and mess up my data collection. I need to go talk to my guys at Penn Camera. It's good to have a little perspective on the old Photog hobby and remember that a few good pictures are good enough, and that sometimes even the fuzzy ones can tell the story. It's photos, not world peace.

The news is bad because of terror and the economy and all that, which is serious, but I really have to focus on my real life, which is so far, unaffected by most of the bad news that is dominating the airwaves. I don't mean to sound flippant, because I know many people are truly being affected, but all I can do right now is try to live by sound financial principles in my own sphere and try to be prepared. I feel fortunate to belong to a church that teaches personal preparation for the future so it is something of a way of life for many Mormons. Sometimes we are seen as being extreme in our preparations, but it is not about bunkers or predictions about the end of the world. It's called Provident Living, which simply means being able to provide for one's self and then reach out to help others. What we do have is extra food and water, and it is part of the doctrine of our church to be careful and prayerful with money so that we control it rather than it controlling us. Preparation puts any person in a position to have less fear. It also allows them to keep giving and be generous with time and money rather than hide in a corner, clutching at their own stuff. I love that the little free money management course that you can access on the above website is called "Peace in Your Hearts." How's that for the polar opposite of what the news is reporting?

Our Thanksgiving was nice-small and quiet-all the little ones are out west and gathered at other homes. This year, it was our family of 5 plus my cute Mom and Pop. We went to their house because they are getting ready to sell and retire and all that in the next couple of years, so it might have been our last Thanksgiving there. Bittersweet.

Friday was leaf raking and house-cleaning and Saturday was Christmas-tree getting and house-decorating. More photos of that later.

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