May Showers

Another cloudy, foggy, rainy day. It's all part of the cycle. We often have rainy Mays as well as rainy Aprils. In fact I think of May as a rainy month. My cool-season plants are really happy-the lettuces, spinach and chard are progressing really well. Everything else is healthy and enjoying the rain, but waiting for the sun to really start growing. The hot and humid days will be here soon enough, so I choose to enjoy the coolness for a bit longer.

For the most part, everyone is healthy and happy. Jeff, home from university for a short spring break of 6 weeks or so, has found some work through a temp agency, and he is glad to have a few checks to deposit before he goes back to school in June.

Johnathan continues to thrive in Chile and is enjoying the wonders of the southern hemisphere and the advent of Winter in June. It is temperate where he is, but he has mentioned cold nights and had us send more winter gear.

Sam, even though he is a junior, has many of his classes with seniors, so he is, for all practical purposes, done with school. The seniors all finished class last week, and Sam has taken all his AP tests, so he has for the last week and will continue for the next 3 weeks to pass the time at school playing frisbee, watching movies, and helping his teachers pack up their rooms. As you can imagine, he is loving life.

Sara is doing well, wishing for more babysitting jobs and looking forward to her summer plans. She has experimented some with dying her hair, and liked it the first time around so we're going to do it again. We're still trying to figure out her medication situation for her ADHD, so in June we go to a new doctor to basically start the process from scratch. I'm really proud of her, though. It seems that just being more aware of her challenges has really motivated her to work harder at having routines and other tricks to help her stay on track. She's been playing the clarinet this year and while she likes it, she doesn't like the band teacher, so I think next year she is going to focus on the guitar again for a while. It's good to have options.

Evan is finishing up the lacrosse season and getting ready for swimming. He is on track to have his 7th consecutive quarter with straight A's at school. Amazing. I think I had 2 quarters my entire life with total straight A's. Thus, he doesn't get it from me. In fact, I have little to do with it even now. He is one of those naturally organized people who just stays on top of things. He had his school concert last night and played in the percussion ensemble. I love percussion, so I look forward to the day when we can get him his drumset. Really. I might even learn to play those drums myself.

My extended family is having all sorts of milestones all over the place. One niece just graduated high school, one nephew gets baptized this weekend, another niece graduates and my brother and his wife are expecting their first baby together at the end of June. Oh, and my sister will defend her doctoral dissertation here in June. My mom traveled out to Arizona for the first graduation, and is now in Tennesee for the baptism and will head to Kentucky for the other graduation that night. The Tennesee sister and the Kentucky sister only live 3.5 hours from each other, so everyone is going to both the baptism and the graduation. Whew. I am missing it all, though and feeling a bit sad about it, but there it is. I suppose the upside is that during my mom's travels, we have had the fun of taking care of her pet rabbit. He's a cute little guy, very friendly and happy to live in his cage in the yard (we do go out and play with him). We thought about going down for the baptism and graduation, but it is too much driving (12 hours to Tennesee) for just a weekend trip. If the kids were out of school we'd have gone down for the week. Oh well. Soon, when my folks leave and go west in the next year or two, we'll be all alone out here with no family. Can't complain though, as I've lived all but 3 of my 23 years of married life near my folks. They deserve to go wherever they want to retire. Fortunately, I'm pretty good at adopting people to be part of my family, so we'll be okay.

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Be of Good Cheer

Here are a couple of poems from a hard time in my life. They go along with a discussion that took place in the women's class at my church called Relief Society. Each Sunday, we meet together as women and read scriptures and share personal experiences that have helped our faith along. It is usually a very nourishing and comforting place to be. Today's discussion centered around this talk from one of our leaders and, while it is filled with stories of people going through really difficult things, in the end it is so very uplifting. In the Bible, Jesus invites us to be of good cheer (John 16:33) and trust in him, even when things are hard. I believe this choice is possible, even when it is not easy or simple.

Be of Good Cheer: Two Views

1.
A choice to be made
Challenges come
But agency does not depart

The Lord does not ask us to
Stand still, holding out our
Silver Platter so good cheer can
Appear

He does not bid us
Wish
Or try
Or pretend, He
Simply bids us
Be

I gain comfort from
These high expectations
Of an Elder Brother

If he did not see me capable
He would not have issued the call.

May 2003




2.
An injunction offered
At the junction of
Circumstance and will
A simple plea to Be
In the very moment we
Would abandon hope to fear
He offers Good Cheer
Will we take the opportunity
Or claim we are not free?

May 2003

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A Farmgirl Kind of Day

In the cool of yesterday evening, we went to see the waning glory of Brighton Dam Azalea Gardens. Even though most of the blossoms were fading, there was still loveliness to be found, and the kids enjoyed the fresh air.

Today in the cool sunshine, I worked in the garden for the first time in two weeks. I got totally into character and dreamed I was a farmgirl. I love to wear rubber wellington boots, overalls and a hat. I'm sure I'm seen as the neighborhood eccentric, but my little house looks like a character in a Beatrix Potter book by the time the end of June rolls around so it's okay. I like watering cans and old-fashioned tools that I buy here, and the whole idea of making things grow. To complete the scene, I baked this bread during my occasional breaks from the sun and dirt. If only my results always lived up to my dreams. They don't. The weeds are never under control, the flower beds are completely undesigned and have a decidedly "natural" look, and the vegetable garden does not follow any sort of square-foot plan. When I look at my neighbors' manicured landscaping with the mulch put down neatly at the right time every year, I sometimes get a little envious of organized people. Every year, though, I bring in armloads of lovely bouquets for my table, I get waves and waves of tiger lilies and black-eyed susans and peonies and hydrangeas, and usually enough tomatoes for quite a few good sandwiches and salads. I don't mind when the local kids pick my flowers on the way home from school, and it thrills me to see praying mantises and ladybugs and worms. Like most things in my life, gardening is a process endeavor rather than a product endeavor, meaning that I am perpetually more interested in the doing rather than the finishing. As my beloved knitting friend taught me, I am more curious than ambitious, and I'm okay with that. Luckily with a garden, there's always another season to try to grow spinach again, and maybe this fall will be the one when I remember to plant tulips at the right time.

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The Ride and A Celebration

Today was the Diabetes Tour de Cure bike ride! Eric decided to sign up and between the two of us, we raised a respectable amount of money for the cause, thanks to many generous friends. Thank you so much, generous friends. I hope to thank each of you personally in the coming days. It was a great day, a chance to spend an entire morning with my husband, doing something we actually have in common, for fun! It was so pleasant to do this together and feel that good kind of tired that comes at the end of riding 50 kilometers (actually 31.06 miles-the caloric equivalent of running a little less than 8 miles). I don't mean to downgrade the experience because actually it was really challenging. I fought hard to burn every one of those calories.
Due to the hilliness and some frustrations with my bike/shoes and not really having had the chance to do enough riding beforehand, I relied mostly on my running skills to allow me to endure, but cycling takes different skills and I was just plain slow. I did endure, it wasn't a race and I felt great at the end-strong and happy with myself. I was also so proud of Eric for taking time from his extremely busy schedule to do this in honor our family members that suffer from diabetes. He struggles so to find time for himself and this was a great step in that direction-something that was good for others that was also actually good for him.

The ride took us through the exquisitely beautiful countryside of Western Howard County. As long as I could find the green blazes, I would not get lost. Remember! Green! I just love that I was no more than 45 minutes' drive from two major metropolitan areas, but I was riding through this:


and this:

There were moments, when I was flying downhill at 30 miles an hour with the wind wrapping my entire skin in the unmistakable sensation of freedom that I could not keep a giant grin off my face. It was so much fun. It was good to remember those times on the many up-hills we encountered. Kinda like life, eh? For every exhilerating, zooming downhill, there is a difficult, plodding uphill. Amazingly to me, I was also seriously inspired by my sister and my two nephews who work so hard to deal with their diabetic challenges. This is the first time I've done a ride for a cause and it was a powerful feeling. They really were on my mind the whole time.

Here we are, victorious at the finish. We are grubby and sweaty, but very happy.
The rest of the day was spent cooking delectable ribs on the barbecue, then making yummy potato salad and curry-apple cole slaw so we could properly celebrate Sara's birthday. The good news is that we have tons of leftovers, so dinner tomorrow is all taken care of! I am so happy about that. Evan had a boy scout fishing trip and came home excited but tired. Sara and my mom helped with dinner and cooking together all afternoon was fun. The crowning achievement of all our efforts was Sara's choice of celebratory desert, Chocolate Toffee Trifle. So good she almost couldn't wait.
Anyway, here's my cute girl as she looks now.


I'm tired to the bone, sunburned and ready to stop moving for a while. It will feel so good because today didn't have a single wasted minute. Every once in a while, a crazy, non-stop day is good so that I can really appreciate that that sensation of falling into bed.

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Think Like a Man

You should know that this is not a man-bash. I love men. Some of my favorite people in the world are men. No, if anything, I am in awe of the male psyche and the almost universal ability of the guys of this world to think about only one thing at a time.

Picture the scene: Once upon a time, a hardworking wife (we'll call her Nellie) spent all day doing laundry, with all of it put away except the last load. She then had to go out in the evening, leaving 5 neatly sorted and folded piles of laundry on her bed. Nellie got home late and found that her normally wonderful, caring, intelligent husband (we'll call him Derek) had gone to bed. WITHOUT MOVING THE PILES OF LAUNDRY. No, he slipped right under the covers like some sort of magician and was sleeping soundly. Obviously, the un-put-away laundry and the advent of its falling off the bed into an obliterated mess had not crossed his mind. Obviously, he was blissfully un-worried about the whole situation. He had gotten into bed and...he went to sleep. Simple as that. And Derek lived happily ever after...

Nellie of course, was compelled to put the laundry away and then was left to decide whether to fume silently at Derek, wake him up by screaming realistically that the house was on fire, or just go downstairs and read till 2 am because she would never get to sleep now.

Friends, I know this sounds like a fairy tale (for Derek), but it is a true story and it happens all the time to men all over the world and I want to know the mystical secret that makes this kind of blissful oblivion possible. I want to think like a man. When I decide to go to bed, I want to actually go to bed instead of spending 30 minutes to an hour putting away other people's stuff THEN going to bed. Maybe someday, I could even go to sleep UNDER the laundry. We all need aspirations. When I'm rehashing something I've said, done, or written for the 400th time, I want to stop and be able to operate under the assumption that I'm right and others are misinformed. Even better would be that ultimate man-skill: to not even think about what other people are thinking about me.

It must be possible, and I am on a quest to find out if I can, for once, not ask how everyone liked dinner and instead just be happy that I liked it. Or, if I say something unintentionally dumb, I want to let other people be responsible for their responses instead of me. Or to see if I can call the vet after completely forgetting the dog's appointment without anxiety that someone I don't know and that I PAY for a service might be mad at me for making a normal human mistake.

Sisters, friends, women of the world! Embark with me on this voyage of discovery to get in touch with your inner testosterone and leave all the angst and mental bother of being a woman behind!

THINK LIKE A MAN!


And, in case you've forgotten this one or you just need a good laugh, watch this. Then go build yourself a NOTHING BOX!

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Happy Birthday Sara

My one and only girl has her birthday today. I tried to make the day a little special for her-we decorated the house and Jeff took on her chores for the evening. One of her friends gave her colored contact lenses in green, which thrilled her, and I got her a book she wanted. Other gifts have come here and there. We once made each child breakfast in bed, but that is hard now on weekday mornings that start at O-Dark-Thirty. We have plans for a family dinner of her favorite foods this Saturday, and maybe one of the days this week I'll surprise her with breakfast in bed. Here are some things I love about my Sara:

• She's curious about the world and loves to try different things
  
• She is great at Math
• She is kind to little children
• She loves her friends
• She has deep feelings about what she believes and she tries hard to live with integrity
• She has a wonderful sense of humor
• And of course many, many more things
  

She was born on a Wednesday evening. I was 27 years old. She was about 3 1/2 weeks early and they had tried to stop my labor (because of my previous C-sections) but the anti-labor meds made my heart rate too high so she came on her own time. Eric was down in D.C. in evening law school, and I think he might have had a final that night. We had it all planned for her to come AFTER the semester ended. Ha ha. So, since Eric wasn't around, my younger brother took me to the hospital and, knowing he wanted to be a doctor, I invited him to stay after Eric finally got there and watch Sara be born. She came, like all my others, by way of a good, peaceful, uncomplicated C-section. That may sound like an impossibility to some, but that was my birth experience and each one was beautiful in its way. Anyway, I was able to hold her soon after her birth, nurse her without any problems and, even at a few weeks early, she was over 6 pounds and perfect. She had a ton of auburn hair and very fat cheeks. For the previous three boys, "Kate" had always been my girl name, after Eric's grandmother, but when this little girl was born, "Kate" just didn't feel right, so she was named for a dear friend. It fit somewhat with family tradition as our oldest son is named for one of Eric's special friends. Her middle name is an amalgamation of Eric's mom Mary Anne and my mom Christine: Christianne

This picture, while not ideal of her face, shows her gorgeous hair:
This one is her almost 10 years ago, as she started kindergarten:
I'm so glad I have one daughter. She is so different from her 4 brothers, yet they all fit together as a set, and I really like that.

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Spring Times

Shoot. I lost an entire post. It was a good one, too. Somehow it didn't get saved and I looked through all my cached pages. I'll try to remember what I wrote, but I'm tired now, so I fear it will be much more poorly written.

This week I felt like I got a lot done, and it was very satisfying. I don't know about you, but I have a procrastination list a mile long. Right now, there are 8 things newly crossed off, from finishing photoshoots for friends to delagating the mailing of annual portraits of my kids to my mother-in-law. I got my garden planted, I got to spend precious time with friends, and I almost got all the boxes sorted before Jeff got home.

About the garden: This is the first time in three years I've actually gotten organized enough to plant anything beyond a few tomato plants. We had a great output of compost this year-wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow full of gorgeously composted "black gold"-and my garden looks so nice-rich dark soil, edged in cheerful marigolds all around, some rows with plants and some with seeds, organized and marked, and ready for the growing season. I got almost everything in the ground that I wanted to plant on Saturday, just in time for 3 or 4 days of rain. Hopefully it won't be too much rain, but will be cool enough to allow a good start for my last-ditch try at growing some early season things before the heat sets in. Thank you so much to Jann for hooking me up with her daughter's plant fundraiser and then going the extra mile and picking everything up for me.

It was also great, as we were finishing up our week-late rendition of no-screens week, to have everyone out in the yard helping plant and clean up. The evening ended with a grand family trampoline jumping extravaganza, a backyard fire in the fireplace and watching Bolt all together.

Jeff's homecoming has been lovely, with all the kids drawn to him, making for lots of nice together time. The fact that he is a MAN with a BEARD is still freaking me out a bit (I'm way too young for this) but he's great fun to hang out with. I'm going to start telling people he's my little brother instead of my son.

Among the other things that happened that I want to remember were a lovely day spent with Christie, who is moving away soon. We knitted together in her home, all cozy and pretty for showing to sell. She made me yummy chicken quesadillas and it was great. She actually had to kick me out because I was enjoying just spending time with her. The next day, at her invitation, I got to enter the inner sanctum that is Lifetime Fitness and join one of Christie's awesome water aerobics classes. It was perfect in every way-great cardio, resistance and stretching all in one workout, PLUS, my legs and arms were under water so no one could see what an ever-loving klutz I am. There is a reason why I stick to running and riding bikes, but this I could get into.

I also got to teach and help at one of my favorite events, the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival. I taught kids' classes and helped on the commitee that judged the wonderful knitted garments that people submitted for prizes. There were some truly gorgeous things-it was awesome to see all the high quality work that people are doing. That day included seeing old friends, visiting with new ones and just enjoying this creative world of fiber arts that I've so luckily landed in. I wore a nice little straw hat to keep out the rain and sun and either I looked pretty good or really weird because I felt like people were staring at me all day long. Have you ever experienced that? I actually never saw myself after I put on my hat, so the weird option is probably more likely, but oh well. I felt pretty in my hat and my jeans skirt and my cool boots. Other than wondering what the heck I looked like, it was fantastic-a favorite day of the year.

So overall a good week (if you don't count that one friend having emergency surgery on Thursday night-bless her heart), with more done than undone. I feel ready for the new week to start, which will be filled with more of the same plus a few extras. Jeff and I might go to a matinee to see the new X-Men Wolverine movie, and I have a Photoshop Seminar on Friday to get better at processing photos.

This is quite a desultory post, and my apologies, but this seems to be how everything is tumbling out of my brain onto the keyboard. I've realized that I'm actually exhausted, for many reasons. It came on suddenly as I sat here and thought about everything that's happened this week. Time for bed.

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