My mom had to go to the hospital last night with some alarming symptoms. My dad was with her and my sister was in the know and awesome about keeping me up to date, and Mom didn't end up getting admitted, but it was a worrying time.
I'm really grateful for the ways that we can stay in touch so quickly. I was able to finally get to sleep as soon as my sister's text with the diagnosis came through and I knew that things were under control. I remember times when there was no way to get information if someone was in the hospital and all you could do was wait.
Sometimes I get annoyed with myself when I check my email constantly or look at an app instead of going outside to see what the weather's like, but in a situation like we had last night, I'm okay with instant gratification.
So, the big news first:
My Sam got his mission call to serve for 2 years for our church. He'll become one of those endearing Mormon missionaries in his shirt, tie and nametag, and he'll be serving in...
Anaheim California!
We arranged a conference call and he opened the envelope on his own in his room, then came out and told the crowd of roommates and family that were gathered in his apartment while we on the phone listened. It was a thrilling moment as the news washed over us all and we began to imagine his experiences and challenges while trying to spread the best parts of the Christian faith to any in that part of California who might be looking.
So, the next time you see a young missionary of any faith, remember that they're not brainwashed (in fact I sort of think it would be impossible to brainwash a kid this age) or crazy or going to force their ideas upon you. They're just good-hearted, normal young people like my son, choosing on their own to give up pretty much everything for a time in order to try and bring a little light and hope into the world. Maybe you could even invite them in for a cool drink and give them a minute or two of your time. You'll feel better for it, I promise.
And now some photos. The day I left Colorado, my wonderful sister-in-law and my two amazing nephews took me to a favorite local park for a nature walk. We found sticks and ice and trees and of course a heart-shaped rock or two. It was really fun to be with this wonderful family of my blood and enjoy these cute boys' personalities.
As for digital vs. film, I think I might have to vote for digital right now. I took two rolls of film on this trip, both while snowshoeing and on this walk, and because I apparently loaded the camera wrong (in spite of following the instructions in the manual to the letter), not a single image was recorded. That makes me genuinely sad because I saw some lovely things. So, until my skills improve, I am grateful for the immediacy and ease of digital images. Hopefully as this class proceeds and I get reacquainted with the slower pace and more careful decision-making of film, I'll feel differently.
Mom and her oldest
A grove of trees waits for spring
Two boys, a stick and a small
body of water: a perfect combo
The ice moves!
It looks heart-shaped to me. This one was huge,
so it did not come home with me.
We grownups were pretty pleased
with this impromptu portrait. It
captures the current tendencies
and personalities of both boys.
The high desert in late winter-a million shades of subtle color
Running down the path!
My goodbye from California. This was the view out the
window as I took the elevator down to catch my taxi to
the airport.
I left Denver on Wednesday and flew to California for 4 fun days of teaching at a knitting conference. I'm so glad I got to see my family in Colorado and that I get to go on these trips. Now I'm on the way back east. One of the facts about staying in large, fancy, hotels is that the food and the internet cost large and fancy amounts of money. Sometimes I would gladly trade the super-duper mattress for a decent free breakfast and free internet, for crying out loud, which are easily available at any one of the lower-priced motels I usually frequent. This hotel didn't even have free internet in the lobby so for 5 days, I ate girl scout cookies, 7-dollar bagels and banquet food, and my internet access was limited to trying to keep up with the occasional email through my phone. I have lots to catch up on but no photos yet, but I feel like writing at least a bit as I wait at the airport, hoping that even though I'm routed through Chicago, I will have the weather gage and make it home tonight. It's been a fun week, but a long time to be away from home and family.
Over the weekend at Stitches West, I taught a total of approximately 266 students over the course of 12 knitting classes, which is actually sort of thrilling to me when I think about it. That's a lot of people! I got overwhelmingly positive evaluations, which sounds really braggy, but mostly it just means I'm on the right track in my approach, which is good information for a quivering mass of self-doubt like me that has to exert constant effort to maintain a realistic view of my good qualities. I try to be really open to comments and not let ego get in the way of really providing a good product in the classes I teach, so the evals are important to me. I got to share some good conversations with my dear friends at the shows and make a few new friends. I have to say that the people I've met through this job are a huge reason I just love doing it.
Well, they're starting to get us ready for boarding, so I'm going to pack up and get ready to go. It's been a great trip but right now I feel like I can't get home fast enough.
So, as my mobile post yesterday hinted, I'm somewhere in the mountains. Specifically, I'm in Colorado, but only for about 48 hours, so I decided to focus all my time on visiting my brother and his family even though I have several wonderful pals here. I wish I could have seen everyone, but it was just too quick.
I amended my location yesterday, as we were actually in the White River National Forest, not Arapahoe as I originally reported, but it was still gorgeous. There are some photos below. If you missed yesterday's post, my brother and I went snowshoeing in the mountains. Almost as soon as we got on the trail my brother pointed out a Downy Woodpecker which was a thrill as he was right overhead and we could really see him. Sadly, we saw many trees affected by the Bark Beetle, of which problem I was blissfully unaware since I'm on the East Coast. When we got to our destination, we were rewarded by a nice view of a beautiful high peak. It was a particular pleasure to go on this snowy hike with my brother because it is a part of our family legacy to love the outdoors. We spent nearly all of my childhood vacations camping in the woods and I have many memories of my dad showing great reverence for the world and knowing the names of all the plants and animals we would encounter. It felt very right and good to be in the woods with family.
This is me mobile-blogging yesterday's post!
The Downy Woodpecker
A gorgeous landscape shot captured by my bro.
After the snowshoeing and a stop at the fabulous Smashburger for a Colorado Burger, we met up with my sister-in-law and nephews at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. This was really fun with two little guys still in the age of wonder. How I love the sensation of a little one grabbing my hand to pull me excitedly over to see something amazing. This place had some top-notch exhibits that were seriously fun and full of well-done interactive experiences. We topped off the night with an IMAX film and more fast food joy at Chipotle.
My brother Won (he was "the most relaxed" and moved a
little ball to one end, sort of like mental curling)
The older one won.
The big sister won. We thought this was pretty funny
considering in my family, anxiety is the family creed.
The regular season of wrestling has ended. Evan started off strong, with several victories and a wonderful wave of confidence at the beginning of the season. As things continued though, this was the scene we saw most often for our youngest boy:
I don't know for sure, but I think he ended the regular season with something like 11 wins and 22 losses. Rough times. It might seem a strange photo to post, of a boy in a vulnerable moment, but I actually really like this image. I like the story it tells of how he's feeling and of his coaches' support. I want Evan to remember this first year with all the ups and downs, that he kept on running out to that mat, even as the losses stacked up. I want him to remember that culture of team loyalty that I've never seen in another sport. Even though each player goes out alone, he sees his win or loss as for the team as much as more than for himself. Often when Ev, the youngest and least experienced varsity player, was out on the mat, every other boy was standing up and cheering for him, willing him to win. It is something kind of special to watch in a humble high-school gym.
I said he started strong and in spite of the numbers, he finished strong, which is what really matters. He continues to train hard for the post-season, even though the chances of wins at this even higher level are thin. He continues to support his mates and be committed to the team, of which thing I'm very, very proud. Recently, it was nice to see all 4 of my boys mentioned in this little local newspaper article even though it was about a tough loss. Evan is mentioned starting in the 3rd paragraph.
Top Gear:
So, there's this very silly British television show called Top Gear. I've enjoyed it off and on for years when I remember to catch it on BBC America or occasionally on PBS. Last weekend, there was a 3-day marathon of the show in preparation for the new season. I decided to record it all. 60-something episodes. I've been knitting like a lunatic (big deadlines) and watching this show in many spare moments this week, and it's been a very good week. Now, I feel I must explain. This is not a news show or a talk show or a British costume drama in series form, or anything else that I usually watch. It's a car show. Just cars. Driving them, comparing them, racing them, giving opinions on them, etc. But it is so hilarious as to make me laugh out loud in a way that few other things can do. Oh the adrenaline and endorphin rush this show gives me! Fortunately for me, I actually like cars and am pretty interested in them, so that makes it even more appealing, but honestly, the guys that host it, I think they could put on a show about growing squash or different kinds of vacuums and it would be just as ridiculously funny. It's probably just me, but I can't get enough. Here's a sample if you happen to have 8 minutes to kill:
And Finally, Two Books:
In addition to all the mindless television I managed to watch, I also was able to listen to two audiobooks in their entirety: A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle and When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead. The reason I listened to them together is that the second one references the first in a fairly major way, and although you can enjoy it without having read the other one, I liked having the first story freshly in my head. Both of these books are Newberry Medal winners, by the way.
YA Fiction
Science Fantasy
Published in 1962
It was interesting to read A Wrinkle in Time again after so many years. I think I read it in elementary school and remember loving it. This time, perhaps because I'm old and jaded, it did not resonate as strongly with me, but I still enjoyed it. It is a great adventure. I think it speaks particularly skillfully to kids of a certain age who are trying still to figure out the world and their place in it. I think I needed the book and its message more as a kid. Maybe? Also, the audio book was read by the author herself and sadly, she wasn't the greatest of narrators for me. While she obviously understood the story better than anyone, I thought her reading of it to be quite flat, with little expression. In spite of all that, if you've never read it, I recommend it, if nothing else because it is a classic and you'll find it referenced in many other places.
YA Fiction
Fantasy, Mystery
Published in 2010
This is the story of a girl, Miranda, growing up in NYC in the seventies with a mom who has just been granted a spot on a game show. Miranda feels pretty comfortable in her neighborhood and knows how the world works. Then things start to happen that turn her world upside down, starting with a change in her relationship with her best friend, Sal. Then there are mysterious happenings, such as the key to the apartment going missing, letters arriving that seem to predict the future, and other things. It all converges into a very interesting story that explores friendship, growing up, time travel and heroes.
I really liked this book. It was a quick read and I would recommend it to anyone as just a great story. I think I will even re-read this and be able to find ever more layers of complexity and meaning as I go. I'm very glad Ms. Stead decided to give up the life of a lawyer and follow her dreams to writing books.
365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life by John Kralik Adult Non Fiction, Self Help, Confessional
I heard this author on NPR and was intrigued enough from his interview to read this book. It was a quick read but was very thought-provoking for me. The idea of choosing to feel grateful, especially in the midst of challenges and frustration, resonates with me, so I liked reading about the author's decision to do just that. The writing is not fabulous, and at times though it is told in first person, the narration feels almost dispassionate. It gets the job done and the story was enough to hold my interest till the end. Perhaps more importantly, Kralik's year inspired me to start writing more handwritten thank you notes. I'm not even trying for 1 per day or anything like that, but I would like to do better at acknowledging the many good things in my life by thanking the people who provide them.
Kralik seems to want the reader know that he never intended to set himself up as a guru or even as an example. I liked the fact that the book was nearly devoid of ego and never once was the voice in any way arrogant. One of the effects of this man's reach toward gratitude was a quieting of his own need to be acknowledged. I heard him saying not "Hey, look what I did-I'm so awesome, " but instead, "I want to share this cool thing and hope it brings you some of the gifts it brought me."
If you need a bit of a pick-me-up or feel that your challenges are overwhelming, you may enjoy learning how Mr. Kralik got past his difficulties and changed his whole mindset in the process.
I purposely did not take my camera last weekend to The Cabin (It's my usual January escape with special friends). While there were many beautiful things to photograph, I also wanted to be in the moment and really experience everything instead of just observing it through my camera lens. Sometimes having that glass between me and other people makes it too easy for me to retreat to my introverted ways. So I lived the weekend instead of documenting it. But I do want to remember. Writing has the effect on me of helping things implant more fully into the recesses of my mind so I can call them up later. So, to that end, here is a bit of a mental photo album of a special weekend, just for me:
I love the drive up there. We physically go from the congested environs of the Capital of the Free World to an isolated ridge between the Brush and Sugar Valleys of Central PA. I imagine most of you have never heard of them. All the better. They are wooded and, in January, generally snow-covered. Mentally, we go gradually north from the worries of daily life to a small cabin sanctuary. My mind unwinds as the road winds past the mighty Susquehanna to the hills. It is in all ways an escape from the many "big cities" of my life.
I want to remember meeting Beth for the first time, this precious friend of my precious friend whom I've heard about for years. I want to remember her lovely smile and sparkling eyes and her open and friendly hugs all around for people she'd never met except by email. It felt like she'd always been with us.
In my mind's eye, I can still see snow falling on hemlocks, tiny flakes floating down so silently and slowly that time seems to stop as I pressed my forehead against the cold window, amazed as ever at this simple pleasure. I was reminded that I never want to grow up so much that I'm not thrilled by moments like this.
I loved that one day was so unstructured that it went by in a dream-from waking up without an alarm in front of a warm, glowing stove to an afternoon in pjs surrounded by kindred spirits (also in pjs) variously knitting, crocheting, sketching, napping, reading, chatting, snacking and the like. It is just so nice sometimes to have no agenda, no required outcomes. Especially when you can do that with friends.
I want to remember the hasty dash across the icy deck to the hot tub. If you've never sat perfectly warm in a hot tub under a crystal-cold night sky, watching the visible warmth of the water rise up to meet the snowflakes, I highly recommend it. It is especially nice when the warmth of the company perfectly complements the temperature of the water. I'm pretty sure we solved most of the world's troubles that night.
I never, ever want to forget visiting our friend Fannie, an Old Order Amish woman who makes and sells the most beautiful quilts. We visit her every year to see what she's made in the months between the harvest and the planting. There will be more if there hasn't been a wedding or a new baby, and less if there has. This time as we got ready to leave her sturdy farmhouse, she invited us to stay. We knew with a shared thrill that a bridge truly had been built from her world to ours. We've wished it and seen glimpses of it over the years, but this time, it was a magic moment of realized friendship. Her darling daughter made popcorn so good we quizzed her on the seasoning she put together on the spot (sour cream and onion powder, brewers yeast, powdered chicken broth) and passed around a bowl of perfect, sweet apple slices. I never want to forget their smiles and hospitality as they urged us to sit, to eat, to share. It was wonderful. We've always loved her and shown her frank friendship and we've always known she appreciates our business, but we've never wanted to intrude on her consecrated and simple life. To be invited into it for a golden hour felt like both an exquisite honor and the most natural thing in the world. It brings tears to my eyes to think back on it. Thank you so much Fannie and Sadie. I always think of you as I finger your perfect stitches in my quilts.
I don't think I can ever forget listening to most of the group playing Apples to Apples. I sat out to try to work but instead dozed on and off as the game ebbed and flowed. It was just as much fun to listen as it was to play. At one point I awoke with a start to find the whole group staring at me and laughing out loud. I figured I was snoring or drooling or something, but it turns out that someone had used the example of me and D. snoozing away the evening as an a likely answer to what we'd all be doing in 20 years. Then we laughed together and dreamed of still gathering in our old age. How I hope it will be so.
So there you have it. Some images from The Cabin, 2011. We talked about What Matters Most all weekend long and the discussion has had an impact on me. I was reminded again today of how life brings changes. Friends come and go in our lives. Some stay close, some become precious memories. It's easier than ever to stay at least somewhat connected these days, but continually cultivating real friendship still requires effort and shared experiences. I'm especially grateful right now that I have this annual retreat (that has now spanned 17 years) as a constant in my life. As long as Linda makes it happen and I'm fortunate enough to be invited, I'll do all I can to get there. Even when I am old.
I'm getting behind but am so busy right now. I still haven't written about my wonderful weekend, but I'm here on campus playing with the camera on my computer and happen to have a few minutes before my ride comes to write about my first day back at Howard Community College. It is still exciting and fun to me to be on campus and have to buy books and read through the syllabus with anticipation for the coming semester. I'm taking one class again-Basic Photography. So far, after just one session, I'm thrilled. I knew a lot of the answers to the questions the instructor asked, but I've already learned some of the reasons and science behind why things I do work and don't work. My mind is already expanding to the possibilities of being an understanding, thinking photographer instead of just one with good instincts. I'll be working in black and white film and developing it myself, then making my own prints in a real darkroom! I think it will be challenging but also a ton of fun. I feel really lucky to be doing this.
To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight. -e.e. cummings
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