What a weekend!

My heart is full and overflowing.
Another son has left for a mission for our church.
To celebrate, we took many photos, spent time together as a family in the temple, took more pictures and tried to just BE together.
One acquaintance with 4 sons often said to me, "That is one reason I could NEVER be a Mormon. I could never let my sons out of my orbit for 2 years-it's barbaric!"
I know how weird it seems.
But look at his face, that body language, that confidence.
He's ready to change the world. Why would I stop him?

This is a nineteen-year old goofball boy who still takes genuine joy in audible flatulence and wants me to scratch his head and back every single day. 

I will miss that for a while. (The latter, not the former.)

But I truly, truly wouldn't have him miss this for any amount of back-scratching or keeping him in my orbit.

Take Luck, Elder Nuss. I love you!

Friends stopping by

The boys he grew up with. 

The last moment in the airport. I waited till he couldn't
see me to cry. 

With the sibs and his pal from high school

He's in the air right now. 

 

read more

Adventures and Good Times

I made my first bike trip to the grocery store on Wednesday and it went pretty well. I used our old Kiddie Kart trailer and it worked like a charm. This trailer is very easy to haul-I hardly felt it behind me, even with 20 or so pounds of produce on the way home. I feel like I could haul a lot more if I needed.   I always really liked it for the kids, so I'm glad we kept it. Next week I want to try riding to one of the farmer's markets, even though I'll have to take a longer way to avoid roads. PS, I will be SO glad when this project is finished. I found myself right in the middle of the construction and it was highly annoying. Fortunately there is another path to the store that was untouched, but I can't really ride to the lake, which is one of my favorite routes.

I did forget my bike lock cable so my brilliant solution was to stash the bike completely behind the store, out of sight, then I cleverly wove all my bungee cords through the spokes of the wheels and frame, then dashed into the store for my few needed items, secure in the knowledge that by the time any would-be thief had untangled all the bungee cords, I would be back to the bike. Either no one even noticed the bike or my brilliant plan worked, Bwahahahahah.

The next time I went out I did remember my lock, so hopefully it will quickly become a habit. I've co-opted an old kid's backpack as my cycling pack and the lock fits in there nicely. So far, I love the freedom of being on a bike-no parking worries, wind in my face, etc. Gorgeous.

Thursday was a scouting trip to a new photography location: Turf Valley. A friend is getting married on Monday and asked me to take her wedding photos, so we went and looked around. It was fun to talk with her about what she wants and get a sense of the location. I've known her since she was 3, so it is pretty special to be part of her day.

Yesterday was a day for celebrating as I went  a high school graduation at which several kids from our church youth group were being honored. I got my ticket from my darling friend Amanda, and I'm so glad I got to be there to cheer her on. It was a major triumph and a huge day for her.

Afterward was a bridal shower for the friend mentioned above. It actually kind of takes a lot of motivation to get me out to a shower but this one was a can't-miss and so I went and it was awesome. Friends I haven't seen in months were there and it was comfortable and fun. As usual, I may have talked too much and laughed too loud, but I sure had a nice time because we were all laughing together.

There are some more sweet times to come as we spend today and tomorrow together as a family and then send Sam off on his mission on Tuesday. I should have lots of photos to post!

read more

Outside

It is finally starting to feel as if spring has properly come.

Yesterday I rode my bike to Savage Mill instead of driving and it was wonderful to feel that air blowing past my face again (especially since my hip didn't hurt a bit).
My wild hope, now that my only driving-around car is the truck, is to start running some local errands when I'm by myself on my bike. I set 5 miles on certain roads as my radius (pretty much meaning NOT Guilford Rd. between Vollmerhausen and Oakland Mills-scary).
LIbrary, post office, Weis, Harris Teeter, Savage Mill, here I come pedaling.
I'm even hoping to use our old kiddie-cart that we never got rid of to haul some groceries home occasionally.
We'll see. Me and my big plans.
But those gas station receipts  are making me really sad.

I found my first ever pair of cycling shoes that ACTUALLY FIT my feet.
You have no idea what a triumph this is. I have always loved riding my bike and ever since Eric taught me the power and efficiency of clip pedals (you can PULL up as well as PUSH down when you pedal), I've enjoyed riding that way but oh, those skinny little Italian racing shoes drive me nuts.  In recent years, there have been more sneaker-like shoes for mountain biking and commuters, but alas, still too narrow for my short fatties.

Leave it to KEEN to be my rescuer. I feel like they have a mold of my foot in their factory because all of their shoes just work for me, which is really saying something. When I found that they had cycling shoes, my heart leapt.  Now I can clip my feet to my pedals and yet still feel the blood pumping in my toes. Joy.

The yard and garden are wonderful right now-the weeds are small, the earth is damp, and the bugs are not too big and squishy yet. The peonies and roses have been glorious. The time spent patrolling and puttering is quiet and contemplative, but yet my mind is active because I'm thinking constantly of what comes next, what I need to do today, what I can change, etc.. I love the moments I can spend there.

Right now we are harvesting:
Spinach
Lettuce
Parsley
Thyme
Cilantro

In the summer we'll have:
Slicing tomatoes (brandywine)
Canning tomatoes (roma)
Grape Tomatoes
Zucchini
Yellow Squash
Peppers
Cucumbers
Pod Peas
Green Beans
Carrots

Then hopefully in the fall we'll have:
Pumpkins
More lettuce and spinach
Broccoli

I hope you have some good outside times today!

read more

Better

I'm still fighting something, but I feel a bit better. I'm taking my vitamins and have tried to rest whenever I had the chance. I had a few commitments that were really important to me, so I was glad I felt good enough yesterday to make it through the day.

Yesterday morning the boys got back from their annual father-son campout with dramatically uncombed hair and smelling of smoke and trees and fresh air. I was especially happy to hear the stories of my big boys playing with the little boys-of Xavey and Daniel and Preston and other piling on top of Eric and Johnathan and Sam and Evan. It's one of those sweet I-must-have-done-something-right moments when I know that my kids' hearts are big enough to love other people's kids. It's important to me. I was loved by so many special adults and older kids and I remember how it felt to be important to someone who didn't actually have to love me, but instead chose to be my friend. 

After they got home I headed out to teach a sewing class for a group of women. I was expecting about 10 people for the class, so I printed handouts and designed the class for a medium group and even asked a friend to come help me teach. Only 2 people showed up for the actual class, plus 1 who came to sit and sew. I have to admit I was a bit  disappointed for a quick moment because of how hard I had worked to prepare. It was tempting to think that I could have been home in my bed instead of there teaching a class that didn't even bother to show up. But fortunately, I serve in church because I actually love these people as much as I love God and really, whether faith comes into it or not,  it's just one of those things that when you choose to volunteer for something, you have to give your all, even if it doesn't go the way you thought it would. Usually, something comes back to fill up any empty spaces you might feel. This happened for me almost immediately and the temptation passed quickly away--in fact it was a lovely afternoon. The 2 who were there to make the project I had prepared were friends that I really enjoyed spending the time with in a more personal way. My sweet friend Julia who came just to help me made me feel loved and valued by her willingness. I noticed that she got to spend some quality time with Deb who came just for the company and it was all very cozy. Lisa is a new friend and Brenda is moving away soon so it I'm truly glad it went this way and we got the chance to sit by each other and sew for 3 hours.

The afternoon was spent getting groceries for today's big birthday celebration for Sara, Sam and our pal Stephanie, then, with only a brief break to change my clothes the evening went toward helping out at a youth dance with kids from all over central Maryland. It reminded me of how much I love being among teens and seeing their goodness, even at a dance. It was so nice to chat with the girls from my congregation in a different setting than when we as leaders are trying to teach them or help them accomplish their various goals. It was good just to watch them play.

I got home tired but satisfied. This morning I slept a little late, got the cake made for the Birthday Trifle, and just finished giving the Birthday Ribs their rubdown with fragrant spices. I will pop them into a slow oven just before I leave for church. It will be another full day, but full of all the things that are important to me-family, friends, faith, learning, caring for my loved ones, hearing them laugh together, and all that.  So it can only be a good day.




Here's what I've been watching while I rested this week.

read more

Blegh

I came home from a youth activity last night, sat on my bed to wind down and fell asleep, in my clothes, glasses on, the whole bit. I proceeded to have bad dreams about all sorts of odd things and woke up feeling rotten, still with my glasses on my head. Head pounding, sore throat, body aching, swollen lymph nodes all over my body, tired beyond belief, etc. Yuck.  I suspect it is just allergies because I have no fever or anything, but man, talk about the proverbial freight train. I definitely feel like it just hit me.

Naturally I had a whole day planned and went through with some of the more important plans (thank you ibuprofen), which was a good thing, and I still have to get Ev to a PT appointment, but then I am crashing for the night. I'll put a frozen lasagna from my emergency stash into bake for dinner and Hit. The. Sack.

I will think about that blessed sensation and it will get me through the rest of the afternoon.

I say again, Blegh.

read more

Road Trip!

Once upon a time, two sisters that everyone thought were twins when they were growing up  both got married young and had 5 kids in about 10 years, lickety-split.  Sometimes this sister lived far away and I got to go to Utah to see her youngest be born and sometimes she lived close-by and our kids had endless sleepovers and time together. Now our kids are almost all grown up. Over the years our kids have been good pals, good cousins and a lot of fun to watch together. Now this sister lives about 500 miles away, which is kind of far when life is busy, but this weekend, the kids saddled up and made the trek because Sam and Josh just needed to see each other. They will both be serving missions in the near future and may not see each other for about 2 1/2 or 3 years. It was a good thing because you know, family really does matter. 

read more

The Best Sound

I would have to say that, far and away, my favorite sound in the world is my children's voices. Still. After all these years. I'm sitting here catching up on emails, waiting for a load of laundry to finish, taking care of some record-keeping tasks for the young women's group at church, and suddenly I heard that sound. 

I hadn't realized the time had come and school was out but I heard Sara and Ev talking as they came up the path and to the door. Evan came in the door singing and laughing at the same time. 

I'm so grateful I got to be here, ears and all, and be in this moment. 

read more

A Visit and a Journey

We found out last weekend that my parents would be coming in from Arizona to visit the area because of the funeral of a dear old friend. My dad would be speaking at the service. I thought maybe they would come in for a night or two then head back, but they stayed all week! It was such a lovely surprise and a wonderful time with them.

We realized that they had never stayed as guests in this house because, well, up until last year,  they had their own house in the area. So we got to haul out the air mattress and get them all set up in our family room. They are very easy-going about things like that and everything worked out great.

Monday we just visited and ran errands and such, then Tuesday was the funeral, which was perfect since that was my last day of class (more about that in another post). That night was a fun family dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger, a favorite spot.

Wednesday a gorgeous day so we decided to get away to Brookside Gardens. It was actually my first visit to the gardens. I've been to the playground nearby at Wheaton Regional Park, but never here. It was lovely. I got all my love of gardening and flowers from my mom, and a deep appreciation of the natural world from my dad so it was great fun to walk the paths and hear them identify all the plants they knew and curiously note all the names of the unfamiliar ones. I saw many, many  things I want to find for my own garden. There was so much in bloom and it was an altogether pleasant way to spend the day with my mom and pop. I love seeing my mommy in her pink hat!

After I got my folks out the door to the airport very early this morning, I got on task to get my kids out the door for their latest adventure. Since Sam is leaving for his mission in a couple of weeks, he wanted to see his cousins in Kentucky. So we planned a quick trip since today is a day off school. Everyone got up and got themselves together so they could leave as soon as Johnathan got home from taking a final.  The goal time was noon and I was really proud of their work to get ready. Sam kept hollering a friendly countdown to keep everyone aware of the time and they drove away at 12:14. Amazing.  I was going to go with them, but it just worked out better to stay home to help with some things here. So, Eric and I get a surprise weekend all to ourselves with an empty house. He asked me what I wanted to do tomorrow and all I could think of was jobs around the house. I need to be more creative.

It's weird to think that I can just pack my kids in a car and let them drive 540 miles away all by themselves and know that they'll be fine. I'm a little anxious about the long drive, but they are good kids and seemed thrilled at the prospect of an independent road trip. I don't know if it is wise or macabre that I wrote down all the details of their outfits and took close-up photos of them (like I used to do whenever we visited a big tourist attraction or amusement part) before they left just in case there is an emergency, but I did and I feel better knowing I have that information.


Hopefully, they'll remember to take a few photos while they're with the family.

read more

I needed a walk last night in the spring sunset air 

with the trees full-leafed and sheltering

I think my heart was just tired of so many different feelings from recent days

and I needed to give it a rest

I have to go slowly now because of constant pain in my leg 

and back and hip and as I thought of how I used to run these trails effortlessly 

my heart was even heavier and I almost turned back, 

not wanting to drag such a weight around

But the glowing sky with flocks of birds racing the sun to roost 

and the blooming wild roses all along the way pulled me along, 

step by step till all the pain finally became a kind of dull rhythm 

that I could choose to ignore. 

I can walk for just 12 minutes and find myself sitting in the middle of a tiny river 

with trees on the banks 

and even though evidence of people is all around, 

nature triumphs in small ways and someday, 

this place will remain, even if we are all gone

I thought of that, of how the ugliness of the litter 

and the big work machines and torn-up earth of a major infrastructure project 

have tainted this place and stolen some of the peace 

But that how soon, it will be hard to know where the damage was done 

because the plants want to grow and the land will return to equilibrium

And so I perched on a rock with the water all around me 

and searched for my own return to the place I was before

But I realized that the water is already passed-there's no turning it back

There is no return to yesterday, there is only drawing on the strength of yesterday, 

the remains of days past that form the growing place for tomorrows

I fought that for a minute, reaching stubbornly again for time to turn back, for things to be unsaid, for miracles to change the direction of a step, for everything to be different

But it just won't be

It will only be now

Not different. 

I cried, finally, and the tears were good ones

When my eyes cleared,  I knew I had to go before the dark rushed in

I remembered to look for my silly rocks, 

you know, the heart-shaped ones and saw them all over the place

I started home, carrying rough-sculpted little hearts that remind me 

to look for love and hope in the most unlikely places,

and feeling lighter and less tired

read more

A Museum Visit

There have been several things of late that are deserving of their own posts, so I'll endeavor to catch up a bit, even if things are out of order.

I signed up to be a chaperone on Sara's field trip to one of my favorite museums-The Smithsonian American Art Museum.  I turned in the permission slip weeks ago and then sort of forgot about it. On the Tuesday before the Friday of the trip, the teacher called and said that yes, they needed me. I immediately changed around my schedule and decided that yes, I would forfeit 4 hours in the darkroom because the bottom line is that you just don't give up a chance to be in your teenager's near orbit for 6 hours. I love seeing her with her pals and listening in the snippets of conversations and all that. Love it. So, two Fridays ago, we went. It was a perfect day, a friend of mine was one of the other chaperones, and Sara was in her creative, artistic element.

Another bonus was being able to go on a docent-led tour. I never think to be that organized when I visit a museum on my own, but it was so worth it. She guided us through the museum with a specific theme based on the art teachers' request, and it was fascinating to look at the art with a context and a sort of structure. It made it so that I didn't feel like I had to look at each thing. It was okay to just look at the pieces she had selected for the tour and understand them in a new way. I will try to remember to make use of these amazing volunteers the next time I go, and I've added something else to the list of things I want to do when I grow up-she seemed to be having a lot of fun. Here are some of the pieces that either moved me or made wonder about the process or that were just magnetic enough to pull me over to get a closer look:

The Swing. This one looks like a simple drop cloth
but the colors are gorgeous, and any gallery
that acquires it can hang it however they like. So, the artist
allows his vision to intersect with the vision of the curator,
making it into something slightly different each time.
It's a fascinating idea. 

Forgot to capture the info, but if you look closely, the
white figures give the appearance of people. Is it a
landscape? A battle scene?  

Yay, knitting in fine art! But she appears to have three
single-pointed needles in use at the same time, so
either the artist made a mistake or she was doing something
really unusual. 

I loved the way that D.C. looked through the
sunshades on all the huge windows in the
museum. It was like the cityscape was part of
the collection of artwork. The shades made me
notice it more and look more closely rather than
ignoring it. 

This and the following two are of the same artwork. It is
a painting done on the floor and wall of an entire room.
This image shows that it is done in many colors. 

However, when the computerized light show starts, the
color of the filtered light turns it into a single-hued scene.
There are also three dimensional elements that change as
the light moves and casts shadows, so even though it is
one static piece, just moving the position and color of the  light
makes it a living, breathing piece of art that changes moment by moment. 

And now it becomes all reds and oranges. 

At first I was sure this was a favorite artist,
James C. Christensen, but it is not. It is another
artist named Sarah Paxton Ball Dodson and
was painted in 1891. The similarity in style to
some of Christensen's contemporary work
was really striking to me, so I'd love to know
if she or even just this painting are part
of Christensen's inspiration. 

Even the floor tiles were awesome. This whole museum is
 a great space,  with lots to see. They have a section called
the Luce Center that is what's called Visible Storage, so you can see
many more paintings than the museum can display in the typical way.
It is arranged with special glass cases on several floors around
an atrium like the stacks in a library. 

I find this place very inspirational, with many pieces that I like to come back and see over and over again, but also a wealth of things that are new and different each time. Plus it is attached to the National Portrait Gallery, so you really get two, two museums in one. You should go sometime.

read more

Seventeen

It hardly seems possible, but today my second youngest and only daughter turned seventeen. We had a regular day, but she was blessed by many small expressions of love from family and friends. We aren't big into gifts just for that day, but we did take a favorite treat to the youth activity to share with all her church friends. She spent the day in school, interacting with friends,  doing homework and helping out at a service project. In that way, the day was a microcosm of her life right now-she spends most of her time doing those very things, usually with a wonderful sense of humor and joy about life. She's not interested in a birthday photoshoot, but I adore this imperfect shot from our outing on Monday night. I framed an ordinary shot of the azaleas and she danced down the stone steps to join her brothers and made it into a totally different photo.  I wasn't expecting her, but there she was, adding a light-hearted sweetness to the scene. In much the same way, she danced into our boy-centered world all those years ago and I felt indeed blessed to have one dear daughter.  In spite of an ultrasound during my pregnancy that indicated she was indeed a girl, after 3 boys, I refused to really believe it until she was in my arms. She continues to add so much to our family.

read more

Pleasant Days

Lately, the days have been characterized by a lightening perhaps, or a slowing. Things have eased up and there is some margin around the edges of my comings and goings. It has been sweet to have 4 of the 5 children home for a brief time-to see their relationships now, as older siblings, and notice that, for the most part, they are good friends. Well, when they're not driving each other nuts of course. On top of all those good things, we've had days in a row of warm, spring weather that just can't help but lift the spirits. 

                                      

I'm getting to the end of my class at HCC and I am ticking off the number of images I have to have developed, printed and mounted by next Tuesday with a little bit of end-of-semester angst,  but even that work has been pleasanter than it was when everything was happening at once. I've made some new friends in the class and that helps me to look forward to those long hours in  the darkroom making print after print after print. It will get done, and maybe I'll have a few images worthy of showing off in this space. 

The concession stand at the high school is all but done for the season. I'll start to move things and get rid of the expired stuff and shut everything up for the summer, but that can be on my own time. This volunteer job has been a good learning experience, but I have to say it was it more than I bargained for, for poor pete's sake. I've told them I can't hold this particular position again next year, but hopefully I'll be able to help in some way, because I do like having my kids see me at the school, being involved in the community. This just took SO MUCH TIME-sometimes 10-12 hours a week, and that just felt like too much with Eric serving as Bishop and me taking classes. I really did like meeting new people and working hard, but I just need to not be in charge I think. I did do my best, though, and think I did a pretty good job, so that ends it on a very good note. 

My garden is off to a great start this year, thanks mostly to the fact that my pal without a garden is going to be my veggie-growing partner this year and what a difference it makes to have someone actually excited to do this work in the dirt! I tell my kids that the lettuce has sprouted and they glaze over just a bit, nice as they are. I tell her and she responds with genuine joy and excitement! So far, in addition to the lettuce, we have snow peas, zucchini, spinach and summer squash up and growing. This weekend I'll pick up some tomato plants at the Sheep and Wool Festival, and maybe a pepper or two, plant some cucumbers, and we'll be nearly set for now. We've already got parsley (self-sown from last year) and thyme (pretty much a perennial for me) up and ready to harvest, and the cilantro and dill self-sowed again last year and I've got tons of each.  These may not look like much now, but we planted them with our very own hands and it really is a kind of thrill to see them reach for the sun and want so very much to grow. 

Lettuce

Peas

Zucchini

Spinach

read more