Since I last wrote, I've traveled far, both in miles and situation. Everything has changed, and it's time to update the record. For part of the last couple of months I was so much on the move that I simply didn't have time or internets to write, and for part of the time, I've just been tired, worried, or really, really busy using my computer and photos for work. But here I am, with an empty house and a head full of stuff.
Here are some recent photos from my phone, compiled here as journaling.
May 9: Trip to the park with Corinne and the twinks.
May 11, Mother's Day, 2014: hangout with Eric, Evan and I at home, Sister Nuss in Brasil and Jeff, Ashlyn, Baby, Johnathan and Sam in Utah.
At eye therapy. I was trying to get a view of what my eyes were actually doing during the exercise because the tech kept telling me I was doing it wrong, yet I could see what I was supposed to be seeing. Eye therapy is hard sometimes.
Sheely's birthday. For many years, I've been taking her out for a manicure and a refreshing frozen treat.
Someday we won't get to do this, so I want to remember every minute.
May 21: I'm inordinately proud of my baby mantises. This was weeks ago, so they are probably full-grown by now.
May 22: My desk. Too cluttered probably, but comfortingly filled with things I like.
May 22: If you look closely, you can see a baby copperhead hanging out under those leaves. I found him on a bike ride. He's reallypretty, and I'm sure much bigger now. At this point he was about 12 inches long and the diameter of the base of my thumb. One fun memory of this is that it sparked an all-day, on and off text convo with my older brother about what kind of snake and lots of other general wildlife awesomeness.
May 26: Cunningham Falls State Park with Julia. We had a lovely drive up there and a really satisfying hike to the falls. Love spending time with her.
May 29: I did write about graduation and my parents' visit, but here it is in the timeline.
May 31: Tiny tick. I was at a friend's house and their son found this on his leg. We could make out that it was a tick even though it was smaller than the head of a pin, but I was curious and wanted more detail. So, this was taken with my phone and we just zoomed in and cropped till we could see more.
June 3: Last year I noticed that some real strawberries (as opposed to the wild ones that are my garden nemeses) were growing in a spot of ground. I let them be and even built them a bed and now I have a strawberry patch. These were the first gatherings and they were delish with some cottage cheese and golden turbinado sugar.
June 5: This is a photo of a photo that arrived in the mail. Sara got to her mission in Brasil on April 15, but snail mail took nearly 6 weeks to bring the report to us that she arrived alive. Ha. Thank goodness for email. Anyway, it's Sister Nuss, missionary, with President and Sister Fernandes, her leaders while she serves there.
June 6: More of the twinks, with Evan this time. I managed to keep them both alive for a whole day while Corinne rode the coasters at Six Flags with Sheely. We have fun times when we are together. It's perfect because for me, a day with babies is entertainment, unlike it used to be 20 years ago and was my job.
I told them to say cheese and they did!
June 7: Evan's completed (except for about 10 screws missing from one of the tables) eagle project at BBES, where he himself went to elementary school. He did a great job and got this sweet mention in the school newsletter.
June 9: I put some stuff up for giveaway on an email list and this shot of a craft lamp makes it look a bit like a bioluminescent sea creature.
June 9: Another giveaway. I guess my dream of rock stardom is dead. We bought this for Jeff many years ago and while I hope it inspired some dreams, no one ever became proficient.
June 12: I found this of Sara at age 4 months or so and took a phone pic to show Ashlyn. Sara had so much hair.
June 14. Yesterday. I started the day with a session in the temple. It was a good beginning.
June 14: Later on yesterday I could be found outside trying to keep the weeds at bay. I made some progress, but mostly enjoyed the beautiful weather and this view looking up from the ground.
So there you go. My life in images. What are you seeing these days?
Finally, I've come to a stop. Friday morning (was that only yesterday?) I got going around 8:30 am. I did stop for about 6 hours of sleep somewhere in the middle, but mostly it feels like I've been moving nearly every other minute between that moment and this
I will not complain, because just about every waking hour was something that blessed my life or will be a sweet memory for a long time to come.
So it's all good. And I'll catch up writing about it. Not 40 posts, I promise. But probably 2 or 3.
Now, I'm even going to let my fingers be still and go. to. sleep.
Rather like a surfing competition, this has been a rough, intense, up and down kind of week.
My sister visited with her kids. Up. Intense.
My dog, who is old and blind and a bit incontinent, combined those three characteristics a few too many times. Down. Rough.
One kid had a couple of setbacks that threatened to actually break my heart. Down. Intense. Rough.
I got to celebrate some of the fabulous things my friends' kids are doing and accomplishing while simultaneously weeping for my own kid. Up. Down. Rough.
I thought for a couple of hours that I had lost a chunk of data that contained large amounts of my body of work over the last couple of months. Down. Rough. Intense.
My sweet husband did several small but important jobs around the house for our family yesterday. Thanks to him, my vegetable garden is ready to plant! Up.
Today, I've hit the metaphorical beach and am trying to enjoy the warm sand instead of fighting the water. I have kind of stopped everything for a little while. I am breathing. And endeavoring to eat more edamame than chocolate chips. And looking for inspiring things. Actually I was doing that all week in an effort to stay on top of the wave and ride it to shore.
I mostly did. My sister and I had a great time. The dog is still alive. The setbacks are not fatal. The data was never lost, just confused. It's all part of the ride.
Here are some things that were my surfboard:
1. That sister. Heroine. Rock Star. Her legs don't work but she drove to see me with her three boys aged 10, 7 and 7. It took 10+ hours in her magic van (in which she can only use her ARMS for all driving tasks) from TN. Imagine steering, accelerating and braking with just two arms and no chance to rest them if you want your magic van to keep going). It was an awesome visit and I love her for it.
2. This quote I found on Facebook that feels really, really true and reminds me that my job is to help my children to become their best selves more than it is to make sure they do certain things. It also helped me want to be happy for my friends' kids and really rejoice for them. That felt much better than the other alternatives that crossed my mind:
You try all your life to be somebody - well thought of, accomplished, substantial - and then in a flash of light you realize: it was an ill quest. And unnecessary. The things of import are right before us - all around us, even. Offering ourselves in love to those around us is the work of greatest import. Nay, work it is not; it is all there is. (James Ferrell)
3. That kid. Keeps trying. Awesome in every single important way. Introduced me to this song and made me smile.
4. This blog post from C.Jane Kendrick.
My sister-in-law linked to this and I'm glad because Holy Cow I'm an emotional eater. I could not stop tossing things into my mouth this week as I tried to slow my mind down. Apparently I can only process rapid-fire situations if my jaw is moving. Are there any studies about that? Maybe I could be a test subject. I gained 8 lbs this week! Sigh. At least I have something compelling I can click on and read while I'm snacking, right?
5. And not really last of all, but I'll stop putting links in this post, is this Tedtalk by Susan Cain. She wrote a book about being an introvert. It is kind of nice to hear someone else say how I feel and talk about how it sometimes is truly better to just do things quietly and alone, without it having to be a big collaboration. This helped me remember that being an introvert is not a liability, which during a couple of moments this week, I thought it might be.
To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight. -e.e. cummings
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