Book Review: I Capture the Castle

by Dodie Smith (She wrote 101 Dalmations! I didn't know that.)
I listened to the Audio book, which is abridged, sadly.
YA Fiction
You might like this book if you like well-written, clever fiction with interesting female characters or if you enjoy coming-of-age stories.

I feel certain I read this when I was a kid because I feel certain there was a copy of it on the bookshelves in the living room of my house. However, I have no memory of it and so I put this abridged version on for a marathon knitting session the other day. It was delightful.

Fun story, interesting characters, beautiful writing, clever language-this one has the whole package. If you need something to help you remember what it is like to be young and romantic and smarter than most of the rest of the world but yet also unsure about everything, read this book.

It's about a quirky family that have fallen on hard times yet live in a fascinating English castle. It seems like it's between the great wars, so maybe in the 30's?  There are two sisters, the pretty one and the smart one, as it so often happens, but there is more to both of them than that. There are two interesting American men, naturally. There is a gorgeous and warm-hearted stepmother. There is an eccentric and somewhat mysterious father. And a handsome local boy, and a brother.

They all play their parts in a lovely little story of trying to figure things out and I just loved it. It was a perfect little novel for a quiet afternoon.

Now I have to read the book and see what I missed in the abridged version. Also, there is a film version that looks promising-Romola Garai and Bill Nighy and other greats, but it is rated R?! Maybe that's what was abridged out in the audio version. I'm very curious. If you've seen the film, do tell.

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Awesome Times

As it always does, even when I'm busy having existential crises, my life goes on and it is usually pretty fabulous, which makes the existential crises kinda funny when I think about them rationally. Ha! So, here is the REAL story of my life:

Evan of the State Champion Economics Challenge Team: 

This year, Ev's Government teacher got the kids involved in this program and they ended up winning the State Championship (so I'm thinking I went to all that effort to blur those photos for nothing after seeing the school website) and doing really well at the national level. Last week they had a luncheon honoring all the participants in the different enrichment programs offered by this organization and it was quite fun. Especially the actual check for real dollars that was the prize! Go kids!

A Lot of Fun Times with Family

That's a sleeping twin. We thought he was
outside playing with his brothers, then we took
a second look at this pile of blankets and
realized he had come in and fallen asleep
at about 6:30 pm. He slept until 7 the next
morning. 

This picture amazes me with its hilarity.
It was pouring at graduation so this is all we have in the photo department.
My tall nephew is completely hidden by the umbrella and my sister is freezing
in the rain so she looks like a vampire or something. Oh my!

It was wonderful to have my family here with me to celebrate Sara's graduation. My nephews, both little and big,  are so enjoyable to have nearby. We chased fireflies one night and they fell asleep most hilariously and were just the apples of our eyes for a week. With my grown-up nephew, we laughed a lot together and I learned a bit about what would be a lame tweet (what you ate at the Amish market: lame.) He is just a great young man and I'm glad he came out here. 

Everyone traveled a long way and it meant so much to Sara to have them here. I'm grateful for their willingness to support her in such a personal way. 

There have been many more good times, and those posts are coming. 

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Looking for the Profound

My name is Kellie and I am afflicted with the worst kind of perfectionism. It's just my personality, no big deal, just my very fundamental make-up, so it should only take a lobotomy to solve. Sheesh. But that's the thing. I'm ready to move on from this particular life challenge. A lobotomy is not sounding so bad right now. I'm halfway through my life and I'm getting impatient to see some RESULTS for crying out loud. Or figure out how to just be this way and do what I need to do and stop doing the things I want to stop doing. Sometimes, among the folks I know well, I feel so undisciplined, so lame, frankly.  About important things. One could say it's my choice about whether to feel lame or not, and everyone has their challenges and all that, but seeing others succeed at specific things I feel like I'm failing at (or maybe not failing at, but just dog-padding around at) is hard. It's actually really hard. It makes me want to quit trying as simultaneously out of the other side of my brain comes a mental scream of frustration about wanting to change.

But see,  with the desire to change comes the looming problem of that perfectionism.

Because It Is Not the kind that spurs me on to ambition and greatness, no. I have the kind that paralyzes and weighs me down. I see how I want things to be and then see just as clearly the fact that such a scene will never materialize the way I imagine it and so I stay stuck in the moment, staring, and eventually the vision fades from my view and I go back to my book.

All her life has she looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never her mind on where she was. Hmm? What she was doing. She is reckless. 

Holy Cow. I'm quoting Yoda.

There is no try. There is only Do. 

Or Do NOT. 

That's how I feel sometimes. Guess which one I pick too much of the time?

Fortunately there are other sources of answers.

Today as part of my Sabbath worship, I was focusing on and praying about trying to get better at this perfectionism thing, to be able to move smoothly from thinking about a project to planning it to finishing it, instead of just dreaming about it or worse, jumping in half-cocked and recklessly starting without thinking it through, Skywalker-style. Like poor Luke, those seem to be my two settings. Stuck or Careening. Not the two best buttons to have. Smooth Forward Motion sounds better, but I don't seem to have that one on my dashboard.

Because my Heavenly Father loves me, and because I do occasionally remember that Yoda is a muppet,  some real insight came, as it usually does. It came from the mind and heart of a good friend. That was cool. In a very immediate and specific way, which was even cooler. So often prayers are answered through other people. Along with the insight came some peace. Peace that I'm probably only a maniac in my own mind. That if my maniac does show on the outside, apparently I've been blessed with friends who forgive me and love me anyway.  That it actually might take another 45 years, darn it, but that's okay. That my me-ness has its advantages. That at least I understand all the other folks who feel lame, right? Here is your shoulder to cry on, oh lame-feeling friend. I totally get you.

Come and let's put our arms around each other and cry and laugh and then get on with it. The trying. The never giving up. The remembering that an inner Skywalker is not so bad, in her way.

Oh, and reading this. Maybe every 10 minutes or so until it sinks in.

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Book Review: The Night Circus

By Erin Morgenstern
Fiction, Fantasy
You might like this book if you enjoy stories about magic, romance, and mystery. This book has all three.

I started reading this last fall without knowing too much about it, then put it down for other pursuits. This past month, it was chosen for my book group read and so I picked it up and finished it.

It is the story of a game, the players, their pawns and their game board. The game is an old one, but without a clear outcome other than to overcome. The players are old adversaries, one of which has no heart or soul, and the other of which is only a little better. Their pawns are two orphans who must live this game for their entire lives. The game board is the eponymous circus. The pawns in the game must outdo each other in magical prowess within the confines of the circus.

The prose is spare and elegant, almost whispered, and the visual impact of the author's descriptions is powerful. The world of magic created by Miss Morgenstern is Victorian in age and costume, and reminds me a bit of the atmosphere of Stroud's brilliant Bartimaeus books. 

I liked this book for a lovely, imaginative escape from my very non-magical world. It has some interesting themes, including greed, overcoming one's circumstances, and the power of love. The plot is clever and takes some concentration to follow, but that kept me genuinely intrigued until the very end.

I hope to see more of the author's work in the future.

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Night Walk

The other night I took an evening walk. I started out just as dusk was falling and had my first glimpse of this season's fireflies. My walks often take me through the surprisingly deep woods along the paths near my home and the fireflies were like fairies dancing among the grasses in the clearings. It was so beautiful, and a photo could never really capture it, so I just want to remember the lush green, lit up with sparkles of gold and a 3/4 moon so bright it cast shadows on the path as the light faded to velvety black.

I left the forest and took the paths into the neighborhoods to make use of streetlights and porchlights as darkness really settled in. It was completely engrossing to follow this network, so familiar in the daytime, and look for clues to know how to come out of the woods in the right place. I ended up on the familiar street where my friends live and was able to walk home up the 2 miles of main road. I love that these streets where I live have become so familiar that I can walk them in the dark and feel completely at home. It was a perfect oasis of quiet and focus in a busy, frenetic week.

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