The Call to Serve

I haven't written about Sam coming home yet. I haven't written about all the fun things I'm doing right now, which is a LOT, but for the moment I'm going to write about this, then I'll get back to my regularly scheduled life, because I've been waiting for this for about 6 weeks, and now I feel like I'm over a fence that had me kind of going in circles. Time to move on.

Sometime in the middle to late part of May, my daughter submitted her application to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Usually a call to serve is received by the applicant about 2 or 3 weeks later. So we started waiting excitedly for that day to come.

2 weeks came and went. We were still within range. No worries, though it would have been awesome for it to come while I was there in Utah. No luck.

3 weeks passed. The anticipation grew, but her status had changed to "Call Issued," so now all we had to wait for was the vagaries of the US mail, right?

4 weeks passed. Just about every night, there was a text convo around 7pm when she checked her mail, and we would all chime in with encouragement, consternation and predictions about where she would go. It became something of a nightly ritual for our family.

Then about 10 days ago, something big happened. Evan went out to check the mail on Friday afternoon the 14th of June and came blasting through the door like a cuter, blonder Kramer and shouted, "I think we got Sara's mission call!!!!" He handed me a large white envelope with a Salt Lake address on it. Hmmm.

We noticed though, that it was from Travel Services, not the Missionary Department. That was significant. It meant she had travel arrangements to make, except we didn't yet know where she was going. We needed information. Sara wanted me to open the big white envelope, but as soon as we opened it, we realized it had specific info in it, and we didn't want to leak info that Sara might not want before the big reveal, so we shoved it all back in the envelope with only a few clues.

We now knew she would be going to a foreign country. Some of us knew which one.
We knew that she would need a tricky visa.
We knew when she would be leaving.

AAAAAAHHHHHHGGGG!
Evan especially felt the burden of knowing these bits of information, but we determined we would not tell Sara so she could be entirely surprised when her call did come.

Sam called Travel Services and we discovered that her call had been sent on June 4, and they send out travel info about a week later! What?? She never received it, so they checked her file........No apartment number. The mystery was solved. Okay, now a problem that could be worked. No worries. We were transferred to another department to fix that problem but no one answered.

The excitement mounted and there were groans of..."Can this happen any more slowly?"-when Eric finally got in touch with the person who could help and they changed her address but said that nothing could be done till Tuesday the 18th. We would have to call back then.

That day dawned overcast and expectant, and when Eric got through to Salt Lake, they said they would try to print a new call and mail it that day or Wednesday. Relief set in. The waiting would be over soon. Surely by Thursday or Friday all would be revealed.

But no. Thursday-nothing. Friday-no call. Saturday-still nothing. When we called to check the status, all indications were that nothing had happened on Tuesday or Wednesday. The last note in her file was the conversation on the 14th in which they fixed her address and told us to call back. Sighing ensued.

Then another big thing happened. We were having a party for some kids at our house on Saturday night the 22nd. A big sister of one of the kids came in to pick people up. Her brother said she wasn't going to come in, but there she was. She is a good friend of mine from lots of youth activities, and she is going on a mission herself very soon. She joyfully congratulated me on Sara's call to _________, and I blurted out, "But Sara doesn't have her call yet!" My friend was taken aback and I'm sure felt bad, but it turns out she was the hero of the day, because she said something really insightful that caused my brain to kick into gear and I realized that her dad, our Stake President (an ecclesiastical position in our church) would have gotten notified about Sara's call and since he gets those notifications after the call is issued, it never occurred to him it was not common knowledge yet. AHA!

After a quick email to the Stake President at 11pm and his equally quick reply (bless him for being a night owl), we knew what we needed to know and Sara decided to announce so that we could start planning for real and so that she could be the one to share the news instead of hearing it backward through other people. It needed to happen now for that very important reason.

So, at 12:20 am eastern time on June 23rd, 2013, we convened a crazy, middle of the night skype meeting over the internet, conferenced in a couple of aunts and grandparents, and this happened:




So yes, my girl is going far away to the Brazil Curitiba South Mission for 18 months. I'm so thrilled and excited for her. I'll write more about that later. This just needed to be captured for my own sake. Thanks for reading and sharing our excitement!

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My kids

I spent the weekend in Utah visiting my kids who live out there. It was filled with some fun activities, many good meals together, laughter, talking and general good times.

It's nearly surreal to watch your children be grown-ups, yet at the same time it feels completely natural, and I love the way our relationships have naturally evolved into adult mode. I honestly enjoy being around them and thrill to the good, sensible decisions they are making. I like that they are exploring new things. Things I never exposed them to. That means they are still curious and are not dependent on me to get all their information about the world. That makes me happy.

It's a lovely time to be a mom.

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Tending Other Gardens

Last year, the scouts were gathering at my house to leave for a week-long camping trip. As we were standing around waiting, the leader, a man I greatly respect and genuinely like, and who is incredibly accomplished and knowledgable in many subjects, asked about a plant growing in my garden.

There is nothing like suddenly seeing something familiar through an outsider's eyes. Oh my poor garden. Rather than just say, "It's called Lamb's Ear," and move on,  I instantly became very self-conscious about the state of my yard. It was out of control with weeds, plants needed dividing, edgings were untidy and it had, in my eyes, a decidedly unkempt look, rather than the careless elegance of an English cottage garden I liked to imagine. Ha. I was mortified.

As is my way sometimes (what am I saying? It's my way every time!!), I immediately began making excuses about how springtime is always the busiest time for the kids in school and then usually I'm involved with church camps and youth conferences in late spring/early summer, so my garden is always more neglected than I would like. I was getting more and more embarrassed by the minute.

He looked at me kindly and said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, "So, what you're saying is that you were tending other gardens." 

His simple comment stopped my stumbling apology for my ragged garden in mid-sentence. He had seen my life for what it really was and summed it up in one soul-warming observation.

In the time since, almost a year now, that moment and his words have become treasures to my soul. I write about it now because I constantly thought of it yesterday as I considered how to conduct my day. I've been really busy lately, keeping my schedule as open as possible to help the missionaries, working on several deadlines for work, and trying to get ready for Sam to come home in a couple of weeks. A beloved friend was in town this week and we spent time together. The house was untidy and a bit neglected, my schedule was packed, and I was feeling a bit anxious and stressed.

In spite of that, all day long I decided to choose people and relationships over things and appearances. It was hard. Here is what was on my list that did NOT get done yesterday

• Vacuum. 
• Get the chipped polish off my toenails
• Repaint toenails
• Cook a meal for the missionaries
• Make the bed
• Unload the dishwasher
• Work on the new flower bed I'm designing in the front yard
• Clean the bathroom 
• Clean my office
• Pay bills
• Go buy a lovely card and gift for a newly married couple
• and probably about 6 other things that could be classified as important

So, I was mocked all day by my dirty house, my annoying toenails, dustbunnies that were threatening revolt, bare dirt in the front yard, piles of papers, and a messy bedroom. Sigh. 

But I have to tell you that my friend's wisdom came into my mind over and over again yesterday, the day before Mother's Day, the Great Holiday of Mixed Emotions, and I decided to tell my mind to cease and desist so I could tend the gardens that were most important, even though the results would NOT be worthy of anyone's putting them on Pinterest. So, here is what I DID do yesterday: 

• Participated in the Girls On the Run of Central MD 5K and reveled, (yes reveled I tell you-it was glorious!) in the joyful smiles of the girls I've helped coach toward this day
• Ran with two treasured friends
• Dashed & Stashed enough of the clutter to set the table and make a pretty salad for my young friend who SOUGHT ME OUT to have lunch with her. I almost called her back and said no, I just can't do it today, but what a delightful hour that was. It would have been a terrible mistake on my part to waste that moment with her. 
• Hugged a bride whom I've known for most of her life
• Hugged a few other not-often seen pals at the reception
• Spent 10 sweet minutes with an old friend AND got to see some of my photo work on display in her home-it was bringing joy, which reminded me of what I love about being a photographer (sometimes I want to give that up, too, because I think I don't measure up. To what? Not sure, but you know how that goes). 
• Made it out alive from Costco on a Saturday afternoon with enough food for two dinners that will not cause anyone any extra work. 
• Enjoyed some of that food and some wonderful conversation with those missionaries I love so much and our elderly guest who would otherwise have been eating alone. 

So there you go. The tasks in the first list are important, and I actually got around to a few of them late in the evening, or at least enough to keep the deadliest bacteria and the scariest dust bunnies at bay. Mostly though, I'm grateful I get to remember these scenes from yesterday and earlier in the week. 

This really, really is what matters most, and I know that, and I usually choose that better part (even if it is with an elevated heart rate) but I worry all the time that the untended gardens actually will count against me someday. Luckily, when I look at these photos, my heart slows down and I know once again that I've taken care of what's truly most important. 

My darling friend. She soothes my soul. 

The most beautifully prepared dinner I've
had in a very long time

We managed to get locked inside Piney Run park for two
hours on Friday night during a thunderstorm. It's the reason I
was so behind on Saturday morning, but Oh the hilarity
that two 45-ish year-old teenagers can have with that situation!
I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

Me and my precious pal. 

My dear friend and our surprisingly pretty lunch. Not bad for
15 minutes of preparation. 

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Changes Afoot

I'm renovating my blog. Stay tuned. Soon the url will lose the .blogspot, and I'm trying out new templates.

I'm also playing around with new names so that my blog can reflect all the things I'm interested in and be an easy place to find my family adventures, my photography, my knitting, my protracted ramblings, my transition to the empty nest, etc.

Thanks for your patience. All 6 of you. I love you from the bottom of my heart.

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Close To My Heart

In my church, everyone is an active participant in the actual organization. Unless you choose not to, if you come to church even semi-regularly, you'll have a job to do, either something specific on Sundays, during the week at auxiliary activities (Youth and kids) or else something general that you do to support other people. It's hard to be a passive Mormon, and that's good. We refer to these assignments as callings because we feel that our local leaders are inspired through prayer to know who should fill a particular assignment. It's a good feeling to know that you're needed, whether as the designer and printer of the Sunday program, the teacher of a class of 6 year olds, or the Bishop (lay pastor) of the congregation. All the positions are filled from the general membership. No one is paid, and no one can campaign for or get elected to a position, so there is a kind of equality. Your congregational leader might be the guy who fixes your air conditioner or the president of a Fortune 500 company. There is no differentiation in church service. There is no actual prestige attached to more visible callings, only more of a time commitment and different responsibilities.

This video explains my motivation for always accepting these assignments, even if they require time and effort on top of all else that I'm involved in.


For most of my life, I've worked with the children and youth, except for a couple of brief interludes doing other things.
But now...drum roll please....I'm a Ward Missionary.

Yes, my assignment, or calling, has changed. It is a bittersweet thing to end one calling and begin a new one, for lots of reasons. I have a feeling inside that is part sadness that I won't be working directly with the girls and women with whom I've had close association for several years, and part excitement to be working with the fine young men and women who are serving missions in our area. I won't be working with youth, which will feel strange and a bit lonesome at first, but I will get to do similar things to what my son in California is doing and my daughter will soon be doing.

My assignment is to find those who would be interested in talking to our full-time missionaries and learning more about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. That's the main goal. Finding those who are interested or who have felt led to spiritual seeking means I have to meet people, set a good example, and be willing to talk to just about anyone. I'll also act as a general support to the full-time missionaries that serve in our congregation as well as befriend and support those who have recently joined the church.

If you're a friend of mine not of my faith, don't worry. Hopefully I won't really change my behavior at all. Hopefully you already know that I love you no matter what and would never force my faith on you, but instead will continue to try to be a good friend and stand ready to answer any question you might have, even the hard ones. If you're not interested, that's okay, but I want you know that the truth is out there if you want to investigate.

I'll miss the girls I worked with. Much more than they'll miss me, for sure. They'll hardly know I'm gone and I don't say that out of self-pity. I was a helper, not a focus. A shining beauty of the lay ministry of our church is that no one really has ownership of a method or program. It's all focused outward, on trying to build and help each other. So, the program I just left will continue on, with barely a blip, and the girls will find helpers in their new leaders. The other gal who was released along with me mentioned this-that we're the ones with the big hole left in our lives (I would say I spent anywhere from 5-15 hours a week on this assignment, depending on the intensity of the various activities). Fortunately I've always got plenty of adventures, both new and old, to fill my time. Hopefully the lovely girls I worked with will know, most of all, that they're loved and that there are grownups who care enough to work hard on their behalf. Then hopefully that feeling will confirm the feelings they have that they're loved by God and that He cares about them. If you operate on that basic feeling, it's a lot easier to stay anchored in this crazy world.

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