So You Think You Can Dance?

Yesterday was another jam-packed day. I really am not home that much during the day, and on the days I am I usually fill up the time. Yesterday's busy-ness was a blessing though because of some difficult news from a couple different places in my family. Everything will be okay, but I was a little numb and happy to have places to go. Pray for us. Please.

After a beautiful morning in the park visiting teaching and getting all the dish from our newly-engaged pal, I was home for a while, but I was sewing and visiting with one of my youthful, BYU-student friends. Then more sewing, then off to my piano lesson. I am not sure why I persist in that fantasy, but I do love my teacher-friend Carolyn. We have a great time together. Actually, I have learned so much about so many gospel principles from trying to re-learn piano. That would be another post, but in spite of my less than stellar natural ability in this area, I will persist. After my lesson at 1, I came home, checked on Evan (he got sick from his 11-year old booster shots on Tuesday) did a load of laundry, then went into taxi mode. Sara had piano at 3, then Evan an eye-dr. appt. at 5, Sam was done with practice at 6:15 then Sara had her first dance lesson at 7. And finally we get to the titular event.

Sara used to take ballet and she was very, very good at it. She had the right body style, was naturally flexible and had pretty hands without much effort. She was aggressively recruited for Ballet Royale's elite program but we never started because every single time it was time to go to Ballet, I had to rope her, kicking like a rodeo calf, into the car. The elite program was lessons 5 days a week. Can you imagine-the daily rodeo instead of the weekly? So not only did I not accept the position in the elite group, I gave up entirely because Mondays were starting to loom large and scary in my mind. It would take me a solid hour to get her out of the house and I got tired. Especially since the same battle was going on for school, for getting dressed, for eating, for going to bed...you get the picture. So no more dance.

Fast forward to now. Sara has continued to be interested in dance. We've been to see Riverdance and the Nutcracker and Sleeping Beauty, etc. We've been to see Wicked and we're trying to work it out to go see the SYTYCD tour in October. She's also been in a few shows. She started asking for lessons about a year ago or so, but I couldn't find a studio that had beginner classes for someone her age. She wanted to switch to jazz. A few weeks ago I got a postcard from Coreageous Dance Studio. It's a newly renovated studio in Savage Mill. They had a jazz class for 12-16 year olds-any ability level. I went over and signed her up. The proprietor-teacher is a darling woman named Adrienne who is realizing her dream of having a studio. Her folks are helping her out, even to the point of her sweet dad manning the phones. Very friendly, family kind of vibe. It turns out that because they are new, and the word is still getting out, that Sara has private lessons! She was so cute in her new leotard and gauchos and dance shoes. She put her hair in ponies and it looked like she had so much fun. I loved watching her move with such fun expression and natural grace. I have been worried about Sara finding a niche, and maybe this will be it. Maybe not, but she chose it so maybe now she is ready to make it her own. I hope so. She's tried many sports and instruments, but has never had a passion strong enough to motivate me to fight the fight. It will be difficult to get photos of her in action because she hates pictures right now, but I'll keep trying. She loved her lesson and came home sweaty and happy. Pure Joy.

BTW, this studio has dance classes for all ages and in all styles-ballroom, jazz, hip-hop, plus yoga and pilates. The website has a postcard you can print for a free lesson. Maybe I'll see you over there on the yoga mat.

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Routines

The school year is off to a great start and we are quickly getting back into our old routine. In our house the routine is "Whatever is on the lovely and orderly little schedule that I have in my head will change." Or in other words, "If you don't like the routine, wait five minutes." But it's all good, because since Monday I have gotten to:

Have lunch with my friend after watching her darling daughter. Bless her heart, my sweet friend acted like the turkey sandwiches, applesauce in little plastic containers and oreos we had were the greatest thing ever. That should be in a book somewhere as a definition of friendship. (I tend to eat like I'm in a school cafeteria during the school year. At least I don't put it in sandwich bags. I do use a plate. )

Play with my dear friend Ashlee (who moved away but thankfully is always just a click away), along with a whole bunch of our other dear friends. We played at the park by Lake Elkhorn and the memories of playground mornings in my past made me very nostalgic. I even went into total autopilot and ran across the playground when I thought that a biting might occur. I was very good at recognizing the biting posture, because from 1988-90, I was the mother of a very small vampire. Fortunately, it was a false alarm, though I'm sure I frightened some of the other moms.

Teach 3 private knitting lessons, all to women who have become friends through our regular meetings.

Get 3 new class proposals accepted which meant I had to finish a sample and get them all overnighted to the company for photographing by 6 pm after finding out at 2 pm. It all worked out.

Go to Giant Journaling where I could laugh with friends and draw badly at the same time. The one makes the other quite rewarding. What fun. Next month, Jenni is going to dance for us, so y'all come.

Wish my pal happy birthday at her party.

Discover that sugar-free jello and sugar-free/fat free puddings are Weight Watchers Core foods. I think I will be able to lose weight now. I have found a craving-satisfyer that I have permission to eat. This is a big deal.

Have 22 of the loveliest, sleepiest teenagers you ever saw squish good-naturedly into my family room and listen to me talk for 50 minutes. Seminary is off to a great start. I was nervous that I'd feel burned out, but I don't. I look forward to them coming.

And wow, it's only Wednesday.


P.S. Blogger is being grumpy right now, so I can't upload any photos. Maybe tomorrow.

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First Days

Here's all the first days that I could easily access in digital form. My how they grow...

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Poem

I wrote this about 5 or 6 years ago, so I probably had, plus or minus, a first-grader, third-grader, fifth-grader, a home-schooled eighth grader and a tenth-grader. I'm pretty sure that's the scenario because that would have been my first year having Evan gone all day. That was a milestone for me, and you can sense my emotional state about sending my baby to school all day. In some ways, life was so much simpler then-Jeff wasn't driving yet and the only one in high school. Everyone was still very much orbiting within my gravitational field. Yet, in some ways, my life is easier now-even though there is more emotional turmoil to deal with (I feel much more like a referee than an actual mother some days), and I wonder all the time if I'm doing enough, my time is much more my own. Life is so different from day to day and year to year. I really can't compare one time period to another because all of us are different people than we were 5 years ago. What is so astonishing is how much things can change in just 5 years. Now I have one son who is a wonderful, grown-up, independent adult and another on the cusp. No one is left in Elementary School, which as you can see, I still haven't fully processed (I just know I'm going to show up there and ask Mrs. Kunzel if there's anything I can do for her.) and all of my children can make their own dinner if called upon to do so. The nice thing is that I remember my kids' childhoods as being mostly happy-lots of laughter and playing, lots of songs sung and cookies baked, many movies watched and dozens of dandelions placed carefully in cups of water. Knowing that the past was pretty much okay makes the future a lot less scary. I hope they remember their childhoods the same way.


Night before the first day of School

They will set out again in the morning
Set out from the summer world under my wing
Into the wider world.
Do they have all they need to hold them
For a year until
Another summer
Can fill them up with
Mother-love?
Will the small, nightly doses
Be enough
When I am tired and and so are they
After homework but before bed?
They will set out tomorrow
But I will go with them,
My words in their ears
And my heart beating each minute with them
If they stop and listen
They will know I'm here
Waiting for the afternoon door to burst open
And another year to begin

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Anxiety Blogging and Paying it Forward

Now that Seminary is almost upon me, I'm in that mode of doing everything except getting ready for seminary. I still get butterflies in my stomach. I'm giving a talk on Sunday, subbing in Sunday School and then I have the seminary meeting. So what am I doing at 2 am on Saturday? Blogging. For the 3rd time in 36 hours. After staying up late reading a highly compelling memoir that got my mind too active to even consider sleep. After not doing the dishes. Or anything else constructive. Well, reading the book was constructive and actually gave me some ideas for my talk...

But the good news is that I discovered that Julia's blog is open (I thought it was invite only) and found this fun meme from last week. I was number 3 so I'm playing along. Here's the deal. It originally came from Mendy and reminds me of the friendship bread I used to endlessly be tending and baking and sharing when I was younger. I loved thinking of new people to give it to all the time. It was worth the effort to keep those connections strong.

I will send a handmade gift to the first three (3) people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange. You may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days! The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog. (So, you must have a blog to participate.)

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spoon trick

Here is a silly bit of video that my seminary class found funny enough to wake up for.

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Cherishment

I am blessed with good women in my life. That's all there is to it. This week, my birthday afforded me an overflowing measure of time spent with some of the best folks in the world, so my heart is tender as I think about friendship.

The best kind of friendships are the ones that simultaneously allow one to feel completely whole and accepted as is but also inspire one to do a little more, be a little better and reach a little higher. In the rarefied atmosphere of true friendship, one finds the quiet satisfaction of feeling indulgently cherished even while seeing in others the characteristics that lead to a desire to grow. When you have people around you who love you the way you are, it naturally leads to feeling secure enough to rejoice with others' triumphs, rather than feeling threatened or competitive. I am so grateful for the circle of friends that has grown up around me right now. (If you care enough about me to be reading this blog, then that gratitude includes you. Thank you for being part of my life.)

I have the privilege of associating with a large number of women who I truly love and admire, but that I feel safe with and equal to. We are all on the same journey of faith and discovery, and we are all at different points in the journey. This reciprocative characteristic of friendship was not always so obvious nor so easy for me. It has always been easy for me to give friendship-to serve, to accept, to help, to listen. It has only been in the last few years that I think I've learned to receive friendship-to share, to let myself be vulnerable, to trust others with my whole self. It is a good feeling.



This quote sums up what I am experiencing:

"Oh, the comfort���the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person���having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
by Dinah Maria (Mulock) Craik (1826-1887)
from novel: A Life for a Life, 1859

This birthday week will always be memorable to me because I felt cherished, valued and loved among people who I feel the same way about. That is evidence that growing older and having birthdays really is a good thing because 10 years ago, I might have been younger and thinner, but I don't think I was nearly as able as I am now to participate in friendship so fully and so joyfully.


Here's to reeling in the years.

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I love my name

I did this with both my maiden and married last names. This is my maiden name, Wixom, in honor of the fact that it is now my 41st birthday:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Here is some trivia about my name:

My grandmother chose it.

I would have been Kellie whether I was a girl or a boy, though I am not sure about the boy spelling-would it have been -y or -ie? I will have to ask my mom.

My middle name, Lin, is a shortened form of Linda, the name of my aunt, with whom I share my red hair.

I loved having my unusual spelling growing up. There was only one other Kelly my age all through school, and one a grade below me. But I was always the only Kellie. For a kid from a large family who always struggled with feeling hopelessly mediocre and odd, my special name was a touchstone of self-worth for me. I am weeping now just thinking of it.

When Kellie Martin became famous as an actress, it was so weird to see my name in print with another last name.

I ran the applet again for Kellie Nuss. There is one person named Kellie Nuss. I would love to meet her someday!

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Time Flies

So, that would mean I've been having fun. For the most part, yes, I have. I am feeling better, which is a huge relief. I still have a bump in my face, but apparently it is nothing to worry about at this point-just some sort of cyst or growth. In looking back at my journals, I've finally put it together that I get sick every July/August. I assume it is my body letting down after the energy of the school/seminary year. Just one more reason to commit to getting more sleep. I'll keep trying, I really will.

I love when school lets out-it is such a relief from the busyness of the spring with its concerts and final projects and graduations, etc. Those first lazy, hazy days of summer are intoxicating. I love letting my kids sleep in late and then staying up late to watch movies together. By now however, the lack of routine gets wearing as I have to try ever harder to pry eyes off of screens and fingers off of keyboards and controllers. So, there is a certain sense of relief when it all starts up again. I actually get a big burst of creative, refreshing energy when school starts. It is still hardwired into my brain as "The Beginning." Much more so than New Year's.

The heat of August relents a bit, and the garden wakes back up. There's usually a little more rain, so September is often one of the loveliest times of the year in the garden-no mud but the energy of one final burst of growth before the big sleep.

To recap the last couple of weeks, our trip to Chicago was was such a nice trip-this was the first time that traveling by air was truly easy-the kids were completely independent-they carried their own luggage, held onto their own boarding passes, sat in their seats the whole time, went to the bathroom by themselves--and got along together. I have this habit when we're together as a family of walking behind everyone because I love observing them without them being aware of it. It was truly fun to watch them walk companionably through the airport, racing on the moving walkways, exclaiming over planes taking off, etc. On the flight out, we flew through some storms and there were magical clouds lit up by the setting sun that were like castles floating through the air connected by roadways of sunbeams. My kids love skies, just like me, and they were craning their necks the whole time to see the wonderful sights. They are still innocent enough, in a world of iPods and hi-def, to be amazed by the miracle that we were flying among clouds. That made me happy.

My classes at the convention that I teach at 3 times a year went well-I got great evaluations and a couple of good suggestions that I will incorporate into my classes in October. The kids and Eric had fun with his family in Indiana. Unfortunately, our paths never crossed, but it worked out well anyway.

Now we are back and I took a leaf from Jann's book and got all the school supply shopping done and sorted. I found a dance class for Sara right here at Savage Mill, and football is going well for Sam. This summer has been a blur and now it's just about over. Life is stuttering back to normal except that we are now in a waiting mode-no one much wants to do anything because we're within 8 days of school starting. If everyone waits to exhale, then maybe they can hold off the inevitable.

Nope.

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Money Makes the World go...Crazy?

I found this article from the NY Times sad. It absolutely astonishes me that these people are still worried about money. The focus on having more and the chase for something that is always just out of reach is unnerving. There is power in simplicity, and a level of control over one's life that should not be discounted. Obviously, wealth is not categorically bad, but oh, does it get used against we silly mortals. These amounts of money are just imaginary to me, and I am so grateful for the perspective on worldly acquisition that the gospel gives me.

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Becoming Jane

With my dear friend Elizabeth and my new friend Virgie, I rode down 29 to Silver Spring to see this lovely little gem of a film about the life of Jane Austen at the American Film Institute Silver Theater. I had never been there, so that was a fun adventure in and of itself. The film was playing in the large, beautiful, art-deco themed main theater. We sat in the back box seats where each seat had a convenient little table between. It felt quite luxurious. As for the film, I really enjoyed it. It portrayed Jane almost as if she were a character in one of her books in order to show how her real life influenced her work. The scholars are having a field day pointing out the historical flaws in the screenplay, but within the construct of a work of cinematic art aimed at all of us who love her, the romanticizing of Jane's life a little was fine with me. It was exquisitely filmed and the acting was really, really good. James McAvoy is quite yummy. My only complaint, if you decide to go down there and see it before the wide release on Friday, is that the sound was not good. There was an echo or something that swallowed much of the dialogue. In fact, I will see it again as soon as I can just to hear the rest of the words. As a perfect touch to the evening, Elizabeth gave me this. She will definitely have a place of honor on my desk as my new muse.

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Guitar Hero and Cousins

The obsession has spread to Arizona. My sis called me tonight to say that after experiencing GH at the family reunion, her husband has managed to acquire several versions of the game and at least two guitars. Her in-laws also got involved in the buying and it has become a family phenom. We did not get a chance to have a big family tourney up at the lake, but at least a few new converts found salvation. Evan doesn't like this particular game, so we have not played together during our days. Actually it's funny, he is bored stiff with just me around. I mean we've had fun and he has let his guard down and allowed me a few bonus snuggles (he's getting too old to snuggle at the moment) but I think he really misses his siblings. This is about the most alone in the house he's ever been. He and Sara are especially thick, so I know he'll be glad when she gets back. We did go see Ratatouille today and Ev LOVED it . I thought it was cute and clever. Thank goodness for his cousin/best pal Jake. It is a blessing to have them around. Jake has been over here most of the week and last week Evan was over there. I will miss that when Steph finishes up and they move away-the summers of endless cousin sleepovers. Luckily we haven't taken it for granted while we've had them close for the last 5 years. Ev and Jake would rather hang out with each other than just about anyone else. Even when we don't live close, they'll have lots of memories stored up.

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Meme

So, here are two memes. Today's trivia of the day is the answer to the question "What the heck is a meme, anyway?" I'm sure everyone else already understood this word, but I did not and now I feel much better. I was thinking it was AIMspeak or a short way of saying "Me! Me! Pick Me!" Well, I suppose it sort of is. Anyway, they're fun and make you feel part of a group plus they help you get to know your friends better, so I'm all for them.

Here is the first one I got tagged for. It is from my pal Krista's blog:

1. 4 jobs I have had
Babysitter
4-in-the-morning custodian at BYU
Kelly-girl temp doing book-keeping
Knitting Teacher

2. 4 movies I can watch anytime
Emma
Pride and prejudice
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Aladdin

3. 4 Places I have lived
Catonsville, MD
Alajuela, Costa Rica
Auburn, WA
Marietta, GA

4. 4 TV shows I love
M.A.S.H.
Good Eats
Mythbusters
Deadliest Catch

5. 4 Foods I love
Tomatoes
My mom's stroganoff
berries
Homemade bread and butter

6. 4 Websites I visit daily
lds.org
ldsces.org
bloglines
The Sequestered Nook

7. 4 Places I would rather be visiting
Maine
England
Sara in WA
Jill in Omaha

8. 4 people to tag
Everyone's invited

Here's the other one, entitled One Word:

1. Where is your mobile phone? Purse
2. Relationship? Dynamic
3. Your hair? Thick
4. Work? Teacher
5. Your sister(s)? Admired
6. Your favorite thing? Family
7. Your dream last night? Forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? Water
9. Your dream car? Paid
10. The room you're in? Kitchen
11. Your shoes? Pink
12. Your fears? Irrational
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Debt-free
14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? Grandma
15. What are you not good at? Prioritizing
16. Muffin? Blueberry
17. Wish list item? MacBook
18. Where you grew up? Maryland
19. The last thing you did? Taxi
20. What are you wearing? A smile
21. What are you not wearing? earrings
22. Your pet? Which?
23. Your computer? iMac
24. Your life? Amazing
25. Your mood? Grateful
26. Missing? Jill
27. What are you thinking about? Radiologist
28. Your car? Honda
29. Your kitchen? Functional
30. Your summer? Perfect
31. Your favorite color? Sea
32. Last time you laughed? Earlier
33. Last time you cried? Recently
34. School? Important
35. Love? Essential

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