I got so mad at my daughter today of all days. She was still in bed when it was time to go.
After my lovely breakfast, complete with singing and gifts.
I lost my temper completely. It made my heart shrivel up and get hard and cold.
Do you know what I mean? I could actually feel my heart get smaller.
I got to church and felt alone in the crowd. I was annoyed at everything and everyone.
I hate it when I feel that way. This is more than just my church community.
They're my family.
I found a scripture in the Bible about the wrath of fools.
It is heavier than a rock. As heavy as a hard heart. I know that now.
I wrote my girl a note during the service and felt a tiny little softness start.
Then the lessons helped me think about prayer and healing.
I came home and was given the gift of time to rest and think.
I caught up on blogs and wrote thank you notes.
I sent my sisters a mother's day email.
I felt my connections with the world start to reweave themselves.
I listened to my family work together to make dinner.
I got to hear the faraway voice of my son in Chile.
My dad came over and helped with the dinner.
My friend who is like family came for dinner and we laughed and laughed.
I asked the family for one last gift, something rare and precious. They said yes.
There wasn't a single rolling eye. I was amazed.
You can see it here.
My heart is beating again.