Sunday, March 18, 2012

Riding the Waves

Rather like a surfing competition, this has been a rough, intense, up and down kind of week.

My sister visited with her kids. Up. Intense.

My dog, who is old and blind and a bit incontinent, combined those three characteristics a few too many times. Down. Rough.

One kid had a couple of setbacks that threatened to actually break my heart. Down. Intense. Rough.

I got to celebrate some of the fabulous things my friends' kids are doing and accomplishing while simultaneously weeping for my own kid. Up. Down. Rough.


I thought for a couple of hours that I had lost a chunk of data that contained large amounts of my body of work over the last couple of months. Down. Rough. Intense.


My sweet husband did several small but important jobs around the house for our family yesterday. Thanks to him, my vegetable garden is ready to plant! Up. 


Today, I've hit the metaphorical beach and am trying to enjoy the warm sand instead of fighting the water.  I have kind of stopped everything for a little while. I am breathing. And endeavoring to eat more edamame than chocolate chips. And looking for inspiring things. Actually I was doing that all week in an effort to stay on top of the wave and ride it to shore.

I mostly did. My sister and I had a great time. The dog is still alive. The setbacks are not fatal. The data was never lost, just confused.  It's all part of the ride.

Here are some things that were my surfboard:

1. That sister. Heroine. Rock Star. Her legs don't work but she drove to see me with her three boys aged 10, 7 and 7. It took 10+ hours in her magic van (in which she can only use her ARMS for all driving tasks) from TN. Imagine steering, accelerating and braking with just two arms and no chance to rest them if you want your magic van to keep going). It was an awesome visit and I love her for it.


2. This quote I found on Facebook that feels really, really true and reminds me that my job is to help my children to become their best selves more than it is to make sure they do certain things. It also helped me want to be happy for my friends' kids and really rejoice for them. That felt much better than the other alternatives that crossed my mind:
You try all your life to be somebody - well thought of, accomplished, substantial - and then in a flash of light you realize: it was an ill quest. And unnecessary. The things of import are right before us - all around us, even. Offering ourselves in love to those around us is the work of greatest import. Nay, work it is not; it is all there is. (James Ferrell)
3. That kid. Keeps trying. Awesome in every single important way. Introduced me to this song and made me smile.

4. This blog post from C.Jane Kendrick.  
My sister-in-law linked to this and I'm glad because Holy Cow I'm an emotional eater. I could not stop tossing things into my mouth this week as I tried to slow my mind down. Apparently I can only process rapid-fire situations if my jaw is moving. Are there any studies about that? Maybe I could be a test subject.  I gained 8 lbs this week! Sigh. At least I have something compelling I can click on and read while I'm snacking, right?

5. And not really last of all, but I'll stop putting links in this post, is this Tedtalk by Susan Cain. She wrote a book about being an introvert. It is kind of nice to hear someone else say how I feel and talk about how it sometimes is truly better to just do things quietly and alone, without it having to be a big collaboration. This helped me remember that being an introvert is not a liability, which during a couple of moments this week, I thought it might be.


Okay. Back to the waves we go.





4 comments:

  1. Hey, you're not alone. We're all in this together, the ups, the downs, the face plants, the beautiful sunsets. Love you just for hanging in there and writing so clearly to share it with your friends. Miss you too!

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  2. whaddaya mean!?!?! introverts rock!! love ya, Kellie! kp

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  3. So very sorry for the pain....your posts always inspire. xxoo

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  4. My word...that is an up and down time!!

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Thank you for sharing your insights!