Book Review: The Flight of Gemma Hardy

The Flight of Gemma Hardy by Margot Livesey
Adult Fiction
Adaptation of Jane Eyre
You might like this book if you like novels set in Great Britain, have read Jane Eyre, or like quirky romances.

My book group read this in November so I wanted to try and get my review up before the month actually ends.
It's essentially a modern-day take on the story found in Jane Eyre, one of the great books of the English Language.

My friend Mendy summed it up perfectly for me when she said, in her brilliant way, "I liked the story, but I didn't like it as a retelling of Jane Eyre." Exactly.

It's a fine book. Well paced, with good language and description and a nice sense of 1950's Scotland. It's an interesting story of an orphaned girl who makes good in the end. I liked it a lot.
For me, reading it as an analog of Jane Eyre, I couldn't help comparing. This one is missing the heart and soul of the classic tale, in that Jane Eyre never compromises on her ideals or her morals. For a second. That's my favorite part of Jane's story-her steadfastness in the face of trial after trial. Gemma compromises all the time. Sometimes she's downright dishonest and plays the victim a bit. Not Jane-like at all.

But maybe that's not fair. I would imagine the author is trying to modernize things a bit, I get that. Unfortunately,  in my mind at least, ideals and morals don't stand up that well to all the "modernization" we are trying to impose upon them. The sweetness of Jane Eyre's happy ending is dependent on the fact that she would not give up on herself and her understanding of right and wrong. In spite of not knowing exactly where she came from, she always knew her worth.

Gemma has some of that. She definitely has self-respect and determination, and her happy ending definitely is joyful and filled with promise for the future.

All in all a good read for the late-autumn, with romance, lost loves, secrets, crazy families, and everything else we love about an English novel.

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Thankful

This week was Thanksgiving and it was lovely. We invited friends, then invited some more, and prepared for a feast for 15 people. In the end, one family couldn't come so it was a table of 8, which was just perfect. Some of our very favorite folks in the world came with their little ones and added a whole lot of life and sparkle to our day. There was much of laughter and trampoline jumping. There were hugs and doodles on paper placemats. There was a spectacular paper-and-pine-cone turkey and excellent companionship all around.

My gorgeous burn on my arm. If you've ever wondered
how hot a roux gets just before you add the broth, the
answer is: pretty hot!

The food was just as it should be: worthy of the biggest feast of the year! My pal brought all the yummy desserts, the bum-cheek rolls (out of the mouths of little kids-hahahahaha!!), the perfect stuffing and that raspberry salad that I could not stop eating. So, I took on the turkey, the potatoes, and the other vegetables. I made a traditional roasted bird, mashies (both plain and with the skins left in), sweet potato casserole with maple (and giant marshmallows on top), Ubiquitous Green Bean Casserole, squash risotto with rosemary, plus some roasted Brussels sprouts and asparagus (NOT in season here, but thanks to some farmer somewhere in the world, tiny and fresh and so delicious!).

Eric and Evan went to play football in the morning and I had a satisfying day of cooking on my own, but because my friend and I were sharing the preparation, I had just enough work to do to for it to be completely enjoyable. I was able to use my skills and keep the kitchen running smoothly, which I love. I get a creative thrill out of getting everything done and ready to serve all at the same time. I enjoy understanding how things work and why I'm doing certain operations so I can predict outcomes. That sounds like I'm super-organized but I'm not, really. It's all in my head. I don't write out timetables and schedules for cooking, and unless I'm baking, I hardly follow any recipes, but thanks to lots of experience, a love of cooking and, I suppose, a certain knack, it all fits together in my mind and I just know what to do. I'm really good at cleaning up while I go and putting things away, so my tiny kitchen never gets out of control. There are a few things in life that help remind me of my talents and capabilities and make me feel good about my contributions to this life, and a day of complex cooking is one of them. I'm not known as a great cook, nor am I sought after for my expertise, but in the end, that doesn't really matter. It probably wouldn't be as fun for me if it was a pressure thing with lots of expectations from others.

After our beloved guests took their leave, we skyped with all my relations gathered at my brother's house in Arizona. That included my parents, two of my aunts, my grandmother, 4 of my siblings and their spouses, 12 of my nieces and nephews, 2 of my sons, my daughter-in-law and my daughter. That was not everyone, but was a very fine representative group of the people with whom I share familial ties.

A photo of the skype screen in which, in front of my
brother's many hunting trophies, my nephew has
positioned himself just so to appear as if he's grown antlers. 

It was a glorious skype, with zany jokes, laughter and catching up on news, right up to the part when, while we were blithely chatting away through the interwebs, my mother took a fall out on my brother's patio and suffered a concussion and a fractured pelvis. For pete's sake. I had no idea until my nephew asked if I wanted to talk to his mom, then couldn't find her then reported that she was in the bedroom with Grandma, who had just fallen and hurt herself. More information was sought and I was carried all about the house inside a laptop and we found her. She was in pain, but lucid and quite witty in her extremity, as is her way. After a Thanksgiving-night ambulance ride to the ER for a diagnosis, she's now home and resting as comfortably as her pain meds will allow. Bless all those emergency response personel who celebrate their Thanksgivings some other day. I'm sure glad they were on duty that night.

But now I will pout for just a minute. My mom will be just fine but frankly, these are the times that try daughters' souls. She's 3000 miles away and I hate it. I know my two other sisters are very close by and will take good care of her, but I want to be there and help. Ughhh. So, I will call her and pray for her and be grateful that my parents are literally surrounded by family on all sides out there in that desert land we all love so much. I will stop pouting now and look for opportunities to help in similar ways out here in my world so the karmic wheel can turn toward my mom and she will always have what she needs. But sheesh (pouting again, briefly), I miss them all so much.

Which now makes me doubly grateful for the friends I have here: friends with kids I can hug and share my toys with and read books to and take to the tot lot; friends I can talk to and occasionally be useful to when they need it.

So, it's all good (smiling now). There are times and seasons to everything, and this was a beautiful season of Thanksgiving. I do love that in the U.S., this particular Thursday ushers in the Christmasy times of the year. It is a significant thing to begin to gather gifts and think of giving and sharing just after taking time to be grateful for all that we have. It makes sense to me.

So, Happy Thanksgiving to you. Let the Christmas music play and the lighting up of the world begin. Yes, it's crazy and busy and way too much sometimes, but what other time of year unifies so many people in the cause of generosity, even if some of us do get a little misguided about it? I think a lot of hearts are in the right place, and the world really is a little brighter, for all the different reasons people come up with. I'll take the extra light and love.

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Friday Goodness

As I sit here, virtuously eating my grapefruit and carefully measured piece of good-for-me quiche for a tidy breakfast total of 4 Weight Watchers points, I am faced with the fact that I gained weight this week. 1 pound. Last week I lost 3. Both weeks I was within my total points allowance, but my metabolism is just so slow right now, and my body so sensitive to the wild hormonal fluctuations of pre-menopause, that I have to be more diligent. I have to stay within my daily points allowance AND keep away from the flexible points AND accumulate about 25 extra points for exercise. That's the formula that will work for me to lose. That's what has worked the weeks I've actually lost weight so that is the goal. It's a big goal. I'm having some success with the goals of tracking my food regularly, getting used to my body's hunger signals, and trying to talk myself through moments of emotional eating. Granted, sometimes the talking through ends up becoming a pity party and I eat anyway, and I have no compunction about tracking those chocolate chips, but at least the thought processes are changing.

Overall, I have lost weight over these 5 weeks of trying, but only a net of 1.5 lbs and the ups and downs are so frustrating. Sort a metaphor for my whole arc of life. Two steps forward. One step back. Or vice versa sometimes. The progress seems maddenly slow. But it's all on me. I can't always blame it on my hormones, and I can't pretend that thinking about exercise and wearing my workout clothes all day actually makes a difference, much as I'd like to do so.

So, I'm a bit discouraged, but I'm rejoicing in the fact that I'm still in it. I went to a meeting at 7 am this morning and stepped on the scale and took my lumps. I bought their activity tracker that automatically converts my steps and exercise into points that I can spend. Well, except that I can't spend. As in my financial life, I have to be a saver rather than a spender.

So there you go. I only have one brain and it seems to handle all my temptations the same way. There can be comfort in that. If I change one part of myself, maybe the rest will follow.

On to the great outdoors and a morning photo shoot. Evan and Eric are out on a camping trip so I have the house to myself and just enough time to get a little bit of cleaning done before I leave.

Here's to new mornings and sunrises and being outside in the last golden colors of Autumn.

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The Work of This Life

Satisfaction flutters through my body as I sit here, quietly, in my own house. Yes, it is satisfaction, but admittedly, it is mixed with a certain amount of relief. Some big assignments came my way this spring, all involving a lot of effort, organization and managing of other people. Two of the largest assignments  (where I was the point person) and one of the smaller assignments (where I'm in a support position rather than the lead) are over. The last big thing is next week.

I accepted these assignments (very willingly, let me emphasize) about the same time I discovered the work of Susan Cain and her book about introverts and how we function in a world of extroverts. Most of us, she posits, put on a sort of "extrovert costume" and fake it till we make it. That's about right. It's perhaps my greatest single test in my life--to travel well the sometimes peculiar path that takes me through life. I often feel (to myself at least) like a puzzle wrapped in an enigma stuffed into a paper bag and stumbling around in the dark, (you know?) and working on stuff like this helps me function in the real world.

I digress. The bottom line is that projects like these constitute excellent personality calisthenics, because I do actually want to be helpful and involved and I don't want to be isolated or alone all the time. I love  people, it just takes me a while to get to know them.  That's the unexpected thing. Not all introverts are misanthropic hermits, much as we might aspire to be. We actually like being productive, useful, and even spending time with other humans. We just like to do it in ways that extroverts sometimes don't understand.

While working on these projects, I was able to articulate a few things about myself that help me understand why I feel cornered sometimes, and why if you know me, sometimes you WILL have to be patient with me if I get all defensive and sharp and sucked inside myself.

Here are some things I know:

1. I'm not an introvert who doesn't like people and collaboration, I just prefer to figure things out on my own rather than be told how to do things. I certainly wasn't told how to do these projects, I was given lots of trust and latitude, so it worked out great. However, in my extreme perfect world, I would be given an assignment then left alone until I show up to do it. Not realistic, but yet desired.

2. In this world of email, I generally hate personal messages that are sent as broadcast or cc'd emails. I am very much appreciative when someone tells or asks something meant for me in an email addressed to...me. Go ahead and send a summary or a solution out to the group, but converse with me. In spite of my public blog and my facebook presence, I like what I intend to stay private to actually stay private.

3. I'm not a committee-builder. Some people are. I'm not. That doesn't mean I think committees are bad or that I can't be part of a committee or even lead one. It's just not my preferred method. I work best in very personal collaborations with individuals that I trust.

There you go. Everything I've been asked to do lately has caused me to have to stretch each one of those boundaries beyond what feels comfortable, and that's good. It is a price I'm willing to pay because the payoffs are many and actually pretty profound. They include personal growth, interaction with people I treasure, and activities that uplift me and keep me from becoming selfish and out of touch with what is real and true.

My whole life, I'll keep doing things like this and (small sigh here) will probably never move to a small cottage on a Scottish island. Hikes and service projects; meal preparation and youth retreats: these represent opportunities that matter to me.  People might think it's easy for me. It's not, but it is my life's work and I will continue, happily, until I finally figure myself out.

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Filling My Pitcher

I'm just copying and pasting this exactly from my knitblog. What a lovely evening I've had. Mmm.

There is an old adage that says:

You can't pour from an empty pitcher.

No matter what you do in life, you have to replenish yourself sometimes. Covey reminds us that

You have to sharpen your saw.

How do you fill your creative pitcher? Recharge your batteries? Sharpen your saw? I do lots of things.

A blurry capture of the lady herself as she signed books. 

Tonight, I got a very filling experience which was that I went with friends to see a favorite author, Barbara Kingsolver, at the National Cathedral. I know, I'm very lucky that I can just whip around the Capitol Beltway and go places like that. I try not to take it for granted.

She was inspiring and her reading from her new book fell onto my ears just like water onto thirsty earth. The location was beautiful and imposing. I liked feeling small and awestruck, the way I did in the cathedrals we visited in Europe.

The Nave of the National Cathedral with all the state flags
adorning the columns. I liked that combination. 

About creative work and writing, she said things like this:
Fiction is experience invested with meaning. 

Hmm. I will think about that for a long time. I think it can apply to knit design and teaching and photography, and not in some new-agey, abstract sort of way. I thought about the fact that my best teaching and moments of connection with students and clients come from actual experience, and then usually when said experience involves trial and error. I can't skip the experience part and go straight to the product part.

And this:
If you're working entirely according to what other people expect instead of according to what you love to do, that's marketing, not creativity. 

That was important for me to hear. I get that I need to participate in the marketing part, but the balance is really important. For some, the marketing IS the part they love. For some of us, not so much.

And one more thing:
The first draft of anything is just work that has to be gotten through. With the REVISIONS comes the fun, when you can make the beginning match the ending, add all the details you really want and do all the tweaking necessary to bring it all together. 

I like thinking of the real creativity beginning after the mere scaffolding of the first draft is put together. It releases me from my perfectionistic tendency to expect a fully-formed thing to come forth on the first try.

One other thing matters about this evening. It was framed on all sides by the influence of like-minded friends. One brought the program to my attention and inspired me to take the time to go. Another was willing to trade out a regular knitting lesson for driving a long way to pick me up and go all the way into the city. The time spent with them was as important as Kingsolver's words and constitutes the purest and best way of topping off my creative reserves.


So let's get pouring. And sawing. And all that...

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Missionary Sighting!

My darling boy Sam, the one currently serving his mission in California, is smart, dedicated, funny and caring. He writes us great letters each week telling about the people he is serving, who he has taught and who has invited him to share his message about our church. He does not share much about himself and he has only sent a very few photos home in the 16 months he's been gone. That's not necessarily a bad thing, because he's not out there to provide entertainment for us. 

Lately though, in a few of his letters, there were tiny clues that maybe, just maybe, he'd been having some hard times for a missionary. I just couldn't tell for sure, so I was feeling a real longing to get some hard information. I don't like to distract him in my letters with my own worries, so I left him in God's hands and let him be. It was in the back of my mind, though.

So, my heart soared when I saw a real letter this week from the great state of California! It was from a family in the congregation where Sam is serving and it had PICTURES! My boy is doing great! He's smiling and happy and healthy. It thrilled me to see him with his companion and read the words of this kind family who took time to write us a letter. He and his companion had dinner at the home of this couple and they reported that Sam is working hard and is a credit to his upbringing. What a lovely thing to say, and it did a mommy's heart good, I'm telling you. It was just what I needed to continue to have the faith to let him have this experience completely independently and learn all that he needs to learn. 

This was a day-maker, for sure. 

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Lovely Autumn Recipes

I get recipes in my email box all the time and most of them go in the trash either because I already have a recipe for something similar, or I just don't want to overwhelm myself. These two, however, caught my eye due to their accessible yet exotic flavors and were very successful, even for my (getting better all the time) picky eater:

The first I made just before the power went out on Monday. I had bread rising just as we heard the fateful pop at 5:20, but I was able to get out my big electric roaster and bake the bread off in there. It wasn't pretty from being lifted off its rising pan, but it was perfect in all other ways. This soup was the perfect complement, and I'm back to enjoying it for lunches now that the power is back on. I hope you'll try it. I found it through my Allrecipies.com email subscription.

I followed the advice of some of the commenters and played around with spices. It's hearty, but very mild. I went Indian/Moroccan and used a tsp of cumin and a tsp of cinnamon to warm it up a bit. Next time I'm going to try it Mexican-style and add some taco seasoning and maybe some canned corn. I used canned ham from my food storage. This is a GREAT soup for food storage, because in a pinch you can use dried onion and garlic as well. Very nice.

Pumpkin Black Bean Soup

Rated: Submitted By: REEDYGAL Photo By: mominml Prep Time: 15 Minutes Cook Time: 30 Minutes Ready In: 45 Minutes Servings: 9

"This is a delicious soup that is even better reheated the next day. Easy to make too. Serve with a garnish of sour cream and toasted pumpkin seeds if desired."

INGREDIENTS:

3 (15 ounce) cans black beans, rinsed and drained 1 (16 ounce) can diced tomatoes 1/4 cup butter 1 1/4 cups chopped onion 4 cloves garlic, chopped

1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 4 cups beef broth 1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree 1/2 pound cubed cooked ham 3 tablespoons sherry vinegar

DIRECTIONS:

1.

Pour 2 cans of the black beans into a food processor or blender, along with the can of tomatoes. Puree until smooth. Set aside.

2.

Melt butter in a soup pot over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic, and season with salt and pepper. Cook and stir until the onion is softened. Stir in the bean puree, remaining can of beans, beef broth, pumpkin puree, and sherry vinegar. Mix until well blended, then simmer for about 25 minutes, or until thick enough to coat the back of a metal spoon. Stir in the ham, and heat through before serving.

The second was so good I cannot WAIT to have another serving. So rich and so dang easy. This one came from my Martha Stewart Everyday cooking subscription, and there is also a video you can watch here. It's called Slow-Cooker Sweet and Spicy Chicken. My mind must be in warmer climes because it uses the same spice combination. Ha! I used some boneless, skinless thighs that I had in the freezer and instead of browning the chicken, I put it in the crockpot still frozen and toasted the spices by themselves in my frying pan instead. Worked great and easier for me since I forgot to defrost (a fairly common occurrence). I served this with couscous and it was perfect.

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Everyday Food, March 2012

• Prep Time20 minutes
• Total Time3 hours 50 minutes
• YieldServes 4 to 6

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Ingredients

• 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• 4 chicken leg quarters (2 1/2 pounds total)
• 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 medium yellow onion, cut into 1/2-inch wedges (root end left intact)
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 3-inch piece peeled fresh ginger, sliced into rounds
• 1 can (28 ounces) diced tomatoes
• 1/2 cup raisins

Directions

1. In a large zip-top bag, combine cumin, cinnamon, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper; add chicken and toss to coat. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high. Cook chicken, skin side down, until golden, about 4 minutes; flip and cook 2 minutes.
2. In a 5-to-6-quart slow cooker, place onion, garlic, and ginger. Add chicken, skin side up, then top with tomatoes and their liquid and raisins. Cover and cook on high until chicken is tender, 3 1/2 hours (or 6 hours on low).

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Brave New World

Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
Genre: Adult Fiction, Dystopian, Futurist
I listened to the audiobook on Playaway from my local library.
You might like this book if you're a fan of dystopian literature-this one is deep in the ancestry of the genre. Also consider it if you are interested in satire, sociology, the future of society, and other topics covered in this story.

Hmm, how does one describe this book? It is the story of a New World State, far in the future (the book is set in A.D. 2540), that is based on the principles of Community, Identity and Stability. Society is made up of carefully created castes of people who are influenced chemically and thermally while being bred in laboratories, then cognitively through hypnotism after "decanting." The idea of this is to create people who are so perfectly suited for their life's occupation that everyone will always be happy. Reproduction has been removed from sex. The two have nothing to do with each other, so fundamental relationships are entirely changed. It's challenging to think about, but I think there is an element of prophecy in the work. Also, that happiness idea only works because of the constant use of a powerful drug called Soma that is ubiquitous in the society and allows people to cope with the fact that they have no individual agency or ability to make choices about their lives. It is a chilling irony to consider that the thing engineered to create the happiness, ie. predestination and conditioning to create a uniform contentment, has created a society in which happiness is actually only accessible through artificial means.

In today's world, people are attempting to separate reproduction and sex, reducing sexuality to mere entertainment and shallow social interaction rather than a deep and integral part of our identity. It's fascinating to see how just this one change in society can affect so many other aspects. People are also chasing happiness and it can seem like it is in shorter and shorter supply, in spite of increased resources, information and opportunities.

The book also forces one to think about what constitutes civilization and what constitutes savagery. In the end the "Savage" or outsider becomes the means for Huxley to comment on the very idea of fiddling with humankind as much as the World State does in his book. It just wouldn't work, and I think he is warning us that we better stop flirting with it as we have been doing in the last 150 years. It was written in the time of Eugenics, which was not so much about genetic engineering as it was about selecting and conditioning for a superior society. It was also written in the embryonic days just preceding the Third Reich and the aftermath the Great War and the Bolshevik revolution. All of these influences and contextual informants were pacing around in the background for me and I could not think of this book without thinking that Huxley was warning us about more than just reproductive tinkering. He was warning us about socialism, tyranny and any state having the power to overwhelm the individual. It made me shudder. What must have gone through his mind as he watched the rise of communism, fascism and socialism in the lead-up to World War 2?  Holy Cow. I might have been a little frightened of my own powers of deduction. Those were turbulent times and it does not surprise me that such a book, with ideas to upend values and mores that most average citizenry held as self-evident, would come out of the experience of living in those days.

I listened to Michael York read the book and found it engaging and very interesting. The characters are each drawn to provide a particular lens for observing the society, and each one truly does allow for a different focus. His use of accents and acting helps to distinguish the characters and the many "scene changes."  There is no clear hero or protagonist, and the writing verges on stream-of-consciousness at times, but it works.

I am glad I read it again (last time was in high school) and that I have a lot more living under my belt to help me to realize the absurdity of the Brave New World but also to recognize the biting satire and weirdly prophetic warnings found between the lines on every page.

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Book Review: The Girl of Fire and Thorns

The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson
Genre: YA Fantasy
You might like this book if you enjoy human stories of growing up and growing brave. It is set in places that might remind you of somewhere you've heard of, but are just different enough to spark your imagination.

My friend Erin has never failed me on a book recommendation, so when I found this at the library one day, and in my current mood of reading like there's no tomorrow, I picked it up. I loved it. I wrapped myself in blankets and scarves during Superstorm Sandy and waited out the cold hours till our power came on with this book, and it warmed me right up.

It's the story of the princess that usually gets ignored. The second-born. The not-so-pretty one. You know. Well I definitely know. I'm a second-born daughter who definitely did not attract too much attention when I was young, so from the beginning, I felt like I could relate to Elisa.

She's married off at age 16 in a political move that's supposed to turn the tide of a war, but it turns out that what is actually needed are the skills and gifts of the girl herself. She experiences a lovely character arc of self-discovery and the story is well-crafted, with enough clever plot lines to keep me truly interested to the last.

It doesn't have a formulaic happy ending, nor does it have a sad ending. It's a good ending for the character, and I came to really like her. I would definitely look for more in a series if the author decides to keep telling Elisa's story.

Sometimes it's good to have to wait out a storm!

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