Anniversary

This weekend brought our 23rd anniversary and a long time ago, Corinne had tagged me to tell about my wedding-day memories. I never really have because although I am thrilled I married Eric, and being married gets better and better every year, the day itself actually wasn't the funnest day of my life in many ways. This will be a strange post, because I think I'm more of an elopement kind of girl and I look back on the day with a lot of mixed feelings, but the pictures seem to show that I'm having a good time. We'll go with that. It was an important day though, and worth remembering:

A Wedding List from July 26, 1986, in no particular order:

• It was 28 days before my twentieth birthday so I am cursed with having to say out loud that I was married at 19.
• It was a homemade wedding: I made my dress and all the bridesmaids dresses, a friend of a friend made the cake, my mom and her friends made all the food, a friend of my mother-in-law did the flowers. I do really like that it was that way.
• We did rent tuxedoes. I really liked those tuxedoes, even though my wedding was not nearly formal enough to warrant their wonderful fanciness.
• I love that the bridesmaids dresses were different colors and most of my bridesmaids actually liked the dress and used it again.
• I was married in the Washington DC temple, which meant that many in my family could not attend the actual ceremony because either they were not members of my church or not active members, but yet most of my extended family came from as far away as Arizona to support me anyway. That meant a lot to me.
• My older brother did not come, but I wasn't expecting him to so it was okay. This is us with my folks and 6 of my sibs. They are all grown up and married themselves, of course.
• I wanted to get married in October with the fall colors, so I was not thrilled about the date.
• My worst fears were realized as it was a horribly hot, hazy, humid day with white skies instead of blue.
• I hated my hair when I saw the photos but was such a tomboy at the time that I didn't even think to go to a stylist. It just did not occur to me. If only I'd known Mendy then. She never would have let me get to the altar looking like that!
• I was not very good at standing up for myself, so there were a lot of details that I didn't like but I just wasn't old and cranky enough to tell other people to leave me alone. So, I didn't love the flowers, or the fact that the reception was at the church instead of a reception place or my parents' house, and that there was no music or dancing. It was my way to just go along, or to accept the first idea that came up and so I did. I put my foot down about a few things and people did get upset and it was hard for me to handle. I was such a pleaser. That's why I look back on it with weird feelings. It's like someone else's wedding, not mine.
• Many, many friends came to the reception. I do remember being amazed really happy that all those people would come.
• No one wanted to catch the bouquet. People were actively avoiding it. I had to throw it a couple of times. I thought it was a stupid tradition anyway, so I would have been happy not to do it, but the tradition police insisted and I said okay. It was so silly that it did give rise to one picture of me that I like, so I guess it served its purpose:
  
• My Something Old was the cameo necklace I have on. My Aunt loaned it to me. The Something New was my dress. My Something Borrowed was the veil. It was Eric's cousin's. The Something Blue was a little piece of blue fabric that my Aunt tucked into my bouquet at the last minute. Again, these were things that I had not thought of nor was I worried about, but they caused large amounts of stress and upset-ness on the part of the tradition police, so I kept the peace.
• The cake was really delicious. It had real whipped cream frosting. I did get my way on that. I also got my way about having it decorated with flowers, including no fake bride and groom statues. It was not a trend back then and people thought I was nuts, and my MIL was actively disappointed, bless her heart. My mom did all the flowers on the cake, and that makes me happy.
• There was no alcohol at the reception. You can see in the photo how Eric's family felt about that. Don't they look like they are having fun? I was stressed about that.
• My favorite photo of Eric from that day also involves a bouquet:
• In the end, I got through it, even though I would have preferred to run away to a beach somewhere or go to the woods in Autumn. I know that sounds terrible, and for all those in the world who had their dream wedding day, I'm truly happy for you. I didn't, but I didn't really make it happen, either, so it is what it is. My friends and family worked hard for the day I did have, and I'm grateful for that and them.
• We did run away for a honeymoon in Maine but not before we went back to my parents' house the next morning to open presents. What is up with THAT tradition? I will definitely encourage my kids to get out of town by themselves as soon as possible rather than put themselves on display in front of all the snickering aunts and grandmas. Holy Cow.
• The good news is that the day itself isn't nearly as important as what has happened since, and that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Happy Anniversary to my good, loving, patient husband. I think he managed to separate himself somewhat from my frustrations on the wedding day, and he was blissfully happy. I'm glad about that. Mostly thanks to him and his rock-steady ways, it's been a happy 23 years.