Getting Out of the Gift Box

The Story of Me and Weddings, Graduations, Birthdays, Showers, etc.: I never get presents handled on time. I know why. If you really want to know it's because I'm an egomaniac in this one particular area of my life. No, really. I'm stuck in a box of my own making, and it is very elaborately wrapped and sports a handmade card. What that means is that I'm too fussy to go buy a gift card at Target and JUST PUT IT IN THE MAIL. It feels like a cheat, a cop out. Yes, it's true. I feel like I have to send fabulous, special presents that truly show how much I love the person, (really that show how creative and what a good friend I am-terrible to type out loud, but true) even though I know that all they really want is a gift card from Target or wherever they are registered or just a lovely bouquet of nice green bills. Sheesh. So, because of my silly habits, from this year alone I have about 5 weddings that have gone unacknowledged, plus several missed baby showers, a couple of graduations and well, pretty much all the birthdays in just my family alone. I won't even talk about my friends' birthdays. Thank goodness for facebook for at least a few of them...

So, what to do?

One solution is this: one of my bestest pals and I have a sort of pact, which is that we are not legally or emotionally bound to honor birthdays or any other holiday on the actual day. We can celebrate whenever it crosses our minds. I like that. (BTW, it worked in reverse for me. I acknowledged her birthday approximately on time this year. Go figure.) Anyway, if I take this approach, then I can send out some very late gifts without any self-consciousness or worry about how I will look in the bargain. I'll just focus on showing how I feel about the person on the other end. Which is what it is really about.

I know this is not a huge deal. I did not keep a list of the people I invited to my wedding who did not send presents, nor do I hold any ill will for them. I got late presents and it was actually kind of fun. I know that it's the thought that counts, not the Emily Post perfection of the execution. But I really love people. I want to show it. I am so blessed and showered with love from the dearest family and friends in the world and I feel like I'm not holding up my end of the bargain. See, there it is again. I'm worried about how I will look! Ack!

Back to what to do: I'm just going to do it. I've actually started. One gift at a time from the stack of lovely announcements that I've placed in plain view, right by my computer. Of course this will happen as the budget can absorb it. I'll check to see if their registries are still open. If not, then the old reliable gift card it is. The gifts will be simple, the note inside the card will be heartfelt, and the card will probably be...storebought. Sigh. I have to let that go. By the end of the year, hope with me friends, I'll be caught up and maybe relax about my expectations and just enjoy the moment of connecting with someone I love who thought to include me in their special day.

Plus I have to remember that I'm good at being a friend in other ways. So, if you haven't received an appropriately timed gift or card from me, remember that I love you in a hundred other ways and would do anything for you. And I wouldn't care how I looked. I'd come in my jammies if you needed me.