August Rush

August 31, 2010 • empty nest, happiness, poetry, thinking out loud

August ends today

With me smiling.

One of those big, silly ones that comes of its own accord-

There is so much for me to smile about today.

At the beginning of the month, my first born,

whom I carried through my last year of formal education,

and who started me in my life's work,

struck out and made his own family.

It was the right time.

Now, at the end of the month, I'm back at school.

One class, every Tuesday.

As I drove home, the smile started down deep inside

And just burst out

And I was wistful that it would be a whole week

Before I could walk across campus again.

It's just art 101 at a community college,

But it is the right time.

I shake my head and smile again:

I have a student ID

And a parking permit,

And a reason to wear a pink HCC shirt,

The 10-dollar one in the basket next to the bookstore cash register.

It made me smile so I bought it.

So utterly ordinary,

But happy, heady realizations for me.

Because I am first a mother

And closed the textbooks for a while,

Now there's a side door to open.

My kids are giving me advice and

Smiling their pride and support.

It's a nice symmetry.

And here I am

Ready,

Shaking my head, and smiling.

August 28, 2010 • empty nest, family, parenting

Today has been the antithesis of the last 3 months. It is 2:26 pm. I'm still in my jammies. I'm sitting here at the computer, snacking on good gouda cheese and excellent bread. I've updated blogs and my photography website. I've mailed out bookmooch books and put some more up for mooching. I sorted through some yarn and packed some up to give away. The house is pretty much clean because that happened yesterday. The only thing on the agenda is a little more birthday celebrating later on after a blessedly blank afternoon. I'm going to finish a proposal for a project to be published in a knitting magazine, then I think I'll putter a bit in the garden, then read a bit. It's kind of fun to have no real agenda and be able to do whatever I want.

As usually happens, the school year is filling up quickly and the myth of long, empty days while the kids are gone is disappearing like lightening bugs in August with every item I put on the calendar. My class at HCC starts Tuesday, and I have no idea how much homework that will require. I've also decided to take on a fairly major volunteer position at school since neither of my kids is in a fall sport, and I have no real sense of how much time that will take. So, I'm going to enjoy a nothing day to the fullest and keep feeling this blessed floating feeling for a little while longer.

August 23, 2010 • family, friends, thinking out loud

I was born in 1966. So that means that for the first few decades of my life, there was a nifty pattern. This birthday is the end of that pattern, but since 2010 is a nice round number, it seems like a good time to look back on my life by elevens:

In '77 I was 11: I lived with my 3 brothers and 2 sisters in a little brick rowhouse just outside of Baltimore on exit 13 of the Beltway. We had a swingset in the yard, an alley in the back for bike riding, and a maple tree in front for climbing. I liked reading, crafts (I think I already had a weaving loom by then), riding my bike and playing my viola. My favorite books at that time were the Little House on the Prairie Books, and my camera was a kodak instamatic 110-the kind that looked like a candy bar and had a post with a flashcube on top. I still took a lot of photos, even then.
In '88 I was 22: I was getting ready to move into my first real house-a brand-new townhome just outside of Baltimore but 4 exits up the Beltway. I was married and had one child and had just found out I was expecting another. A few weeks later I experienced my only miscarriage. Fortunately I recovered quickly and was pregnant yet again by the end of that year. I liked reading, crafts, taking walks with the baby in the stroller and trying to learn how to be a grown-up. My camera was a Canon EOS 620 I think. It was the camera that really started my life in photography and was a gift for the previous Christmas from my husband.
In '99 I was 33: I lived in the house I live in now. I had all five of my children by then (ranging in age from 3-12 at that point), we'd moved to and from Seattle and Atlanta in the intervening 11 years, and my husband started and finished law school. I liked reading, crafts (knitting was part of my life in a big way at this age), riding my bike, running (this was the year of my first marathon) teaching knitting, trying to figure out how to be a grown-up and serving in church. My calling then was as the Stake Young Women President. Life was definitely going full steam ahead. My camera was an EOS 630 that we got as a replacement for the first EOS that was lost in Hawaii in 1990. I would continue to use that camera till about 2005.
Today I'm 44, but there will be no more double digit years for my double digit years for the rest of my life. My next multiples of 11 will be in 2021, '32, '43, '54 and '65. Hopefully I'll make it to the biggest one of all: '66 and a 1 followed by double zeroes! I actually like thinking about that. Anyway, I've lived in the same house now for 17 years, my kids are now 14-23 years old, and this year I'll only have two at home because I'm at the other end of motherhood and they're growing up, in spite of the fact that I'm not sure I've figured out the whole grown-up thing yet. This is the year I gained a daughter-in-law and it will always be special for that. I like reading, knitting, running, writing, taking photos, teaching, and now at this middlest of middle ages, I'll be going back to school. I've been accepted to the local community college and will begin working toward a certificate in photography next week. Just one basic art class, but it seems a good way to commemorate a birthday-by starting something new. My camera is a Canon 5D but I think it is funny that I just bought an EOS 650 film camera for 35 bucks on ebay so I can get back into film as part of my certificate. Time just goes in circles sometimes.

Today, I got the best birthday present of all, a day with my family. Everyone was there but Johnathan of course, but thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I could read his weekly letter on my phone while we were all were out sightseeing amongst the grandeur of monuments and museums in D.C., so it was the next best thing. I came home to millions of wishes on facebook that have been an absolute delight, a surprise gift and slice of cheesecake from the kids, cards from friends and family and a warm, happy feeling in my heart. It was a perfect day for me and I can honestly say that it is good to be 44. Here's to the next 11 years!

The Gang in front of the National Museum of American History. Go and see the Star Spangled Banner!

At the WW2 Memorial. This is my first visit there and it is really beautiful.

One of the beautiful, symbolic sculptures at the WW2 Memorial

Each state is represented here.

Sam is very proud of his birthplace!

The view from the Lincoln Memorial.

Part of the walk-around porch outside the Lincoln Memorial

Column Detail at the Lincoln Memorial

Reflecting pool

One without a person in it.

August 14, 2010 • Jeff and Ashlyn

Here I am again. It's kind a big deal, so it is entitled to a lot of column-inches. Last night was our local reception and it turned out to be really fun. I am filled with nothing but warm feelings all surrounded by a golden glow. Here is why:

My sister came and she was so helpful and organized and was just my right arm for all the final details.
Ashlyn's parents and one of her sisters came. That just pleased me so much. We feel twice blessed because already we have a lovely new daughter-in-law and a whole family of new friends.We have so enjoyed our time with them all.
My darling friends helped so much. It literally makes me weep to think of how they took time from their days, their families and their long lists of things to do and came and helped me. They had amazing ideas, helped keep me on "company behavior" and stay calm, and just made the whole thing come alive with their presence.
Eric took two more days off work after our trip to be the best ever errand-runner, setter-upper, doer of last-minute deeds, and the muscle behind all my ideas. It was such a comfort to have him there.
The decorations turned out to be as colorful as I'd hoped. There was no disguising that we were in a gym, but that gym was full of dear, special friends, so really, even without a single pink tissue paper flower, it would have been the loveliest place on earth for our family. My only real disappointment was that the lights in our new church building can't be turned down to a subdued glow, so we partied under the full glare of fabulous florescents. In spite of that, the colors were pretty and in general, my original ideas actually came to fruition, I have to say.
The Bride and Groom had fun. They didn't want to do a receiving line, so they were diligent about trying to get around to talk to everyone. I think they were pleased, surprised and touched by how many came to wish them well.

And so the wedding part ends. I'm whipped, but it's that good kind, like after a great workout. I can't wait for the coming weeks when I can just think about what's happened and savor it in my mind and memory. I managed to get sick and have lost my voice again, but it seems a small price to pay. Now I just have to stop talking so I can find my voice by Thursday when it is time to teach in Chicago...

August 12, 2010 • 2010, California, Jeff and Ashlyn, travel

We're home again, reveling in "air that has substance" as my son lovingly described the humidity. Our flight was long and uneventful, with plenty of time for sleep and knitting and reading and decompressing. I've come home ready to jump into the final preparations for the reception on Friday. I'm excited to have Jeff's new extended family here to see where he was raised and meet our friends. So, here are memories and photos of the rest of the trip so I can feel like it is captured properly.

Friday:

We decided not to go to the beach again with family.
I needed to get a frame of reference for the wedding day and see how things would work. I was having some serious anxiety about all the uncertainty of a big event in an unfamiliar place.
We were all business in the morning: picked up Sam's tux, got our nails done (just us girls-couldn't talk the boys into it), learned our way around the temple, hotel, restaurant, etc, and just got the lay of the land. I felt better!
In the afternoon, we were near Hollywood, so we headed over there for the Walk of Fame, Graumann's Chinese Theater and general glitzy sight-seeing. We are movie fans, so it was really fun to be there in movie-land.
The evening was making sure everyone got checked into their hotel rooms then over to Campagnola Trattoria for our family dinner.
This was my first meeting of Ashlyn's family so it was definitely a moment for butterflies, but of course they were all delightful and it was really fun. Things I learned that will go into the wedding file are to make up seating assignments and to program some way for people to share memories or connections with the bride and groom. It was still nice though, even without those things.
That night I slept soundly for sure.

The best set of impressions of all.

In front of Graumann's Chinese Theater

At the family dinner on Friday.

Saturday:

The Wedding! Finally! It was awesome and beautiful and touching and romantic and exciting and well, words just fail to express it. I have so much I could write, but I think the photos tell the story. It was a case of right time, right place, right person, and it just felt wonderful!
We had the ceremony at the Los Angeles temple around 10:30 am, then had photos on the grounds of the temple, then had some lunch at my pal's brother's deli in Burbank, then started the drive up to Bakersfield for the reception.
The reception was, well, the only word I keep coming up with is, magical. I felt like Anne of Green Gables wearing puffed sleeves at a party. Ashlyn's mom and her good pals did a simply amazing job of setting a lovely, romantic tone for the celebration. It was replete with fresh flowers, beautiful details and gorgeous things to see. I loved it.

Gorgeous!

Flowers were everywhere!

A bentwood arch to frame the band. They built this!

The decor as the darkness set in-just as lovely.

This is another bentwood structure they build for the reception. Here it is all lit up as darkness fell.

Sunday-Tuesday:

Here the pace slowed down and we started to breathe again. I said a bit of a hurried goodbye to all my family, which was not my favorite moment-I wanted to spend more time with them but that wasn't the purpose of the trip and lucky for me they are awesome and understood that I so appreciated their presence. Ashlyn's family was nice enough to invite us over for a lovely leftover-reception-food lunch, which gave us some much needed time to just get to know each other. I loved hearing more about my daughter-in-law through the eyes of those who know and love her best.
We then headed east-ish to see my darling pal from days of yore. We met when she was 12 and I was 13. We've had our lapses in communication and being in each other's company, but never in loving each other. She hosted us at her home for a blessed 24 hours and gave us a peaceful space to relax, do laundry (we took things slow enough to let the clothes hang to dry in the warm, California sunshine), lay around, play with her kids, and totally refresh ourselves. Eric and I took a walk in the subtle beauty of the desert and saw Joshua trees (and they are real trees, with bark-I didn't know that!) and animal bones and lizards and a mosaic of glass from target practice.
We left there Monday afternoon and headed west again to the coast and a little town called Carpinteria. We spent our family night walking way up the beach to town. We saw natural tar pits, oil rigs off shore, lots of kelp and gorgeous views. We walked and talked and listened to the waves while the sun set just for us. We played the random question game while we waited for food at a local restaurant and I felt a very nice connection to all my family.
Tuesday we slept in and did nothing till we really felt like it, then drove up the coast to Santa Barbara. It was a pretty town even though we saw no sign of the cast or crew of Psych, a favorite tv show that is set there.
We finished the day with a drive further up the coast, then inland to the hills. We tried to visit a knit shop, but it was closed, but we still got to see the cute, Swedish-themed town of Solvang and we found the Ostrich Farm. We decided to stop and feed the ostriches and it was a hilarious and fun diversion.
On the way to our last hotel in LA, we stopped at a local favorite attraction for homemade ice cream sandwiches. You choose your cookie, then you choose your ice cream and voila! Instant freezy goodness for a buck and a half. Yes. that's right. We all had a huge, wonderful treat for seven dollars and fifty cents. Eric thinks it must be a money-laundering set up to have prices that low, but whatever, I'm just glad my sis recommended it.
Across the street was Eric's highlight of the day: A Mexican-American Deli called Jose' Bernsteins. Could that be any more LA? We think not.
Today was flying, flying flying. One plane, three stops and the last one was finally ours. Home again with the maximum allowed baggage and carry-ons. It is an imposing sight to see 5 people hauling 20 pieces of luggage.
Now we move on to one last celebration for all our friends here. I hope that it will be fun. Please come if you can-Clarksville building. 7 pm on Friday. I know I didn't send enough official announcements because I just wasn't organized enough when that deadline came, but please consider yourself welcome! Really!

My dear friend and I enjoying some cookie dough. They call it American Sushi. I love that.

From strangers to friends in an afternoon.

There was glass in many colors littering the desert. It was pretty in its way.

Joshua trees have bark! I always thought they were more cactusy.

Eric considers the Joshua Tree.

Someone got artistic with the tar.

Natural tar pits on the beach. Native Americans built their boats here because of the tar. In our hotel room there were "TAR-OFF" Wipes: Pleasantly Scented Tar-Removing Wipe". I was baffled by that till we took our walk.