Out of the Frying Pan

Yesterday ended my first week of being Concessions Manager for our high school Booster Club, and in practical terms it went okay, meaning we didn't run out of anything, nothing caught fire, and the answers that I'm making up when people ask me questions appear to be working out. It will be a major undertaking, but thankfully, I have many amazing people on the job with me, and so far, it has been really good to have something biggish to focus on.

I haven't stepped up to volunteer at school in a major way in a long time for several reasons, chief among them the fact that I was doing well just to keep my my kids alive and get them TO school because both I and my husband have been majorly involved in volunteer positions at church.

I had to choose sanity.

But then everything changed. For the last year, I have experienced my first ever fallow period of church service, having previously been in a leadership or other major calling since 1991. I guess fallow is not the best word because it's not that what I'm currently doing for my congregation is not valuable or productive, it is, and I love what I'm doing. It's just really different in that I've gone from spending hours a day on focused volunteer assignments to hours a week, and even that amounts to less time in a whole week than I used to spend in one day. Some would say that's a good thing and that I should hush and be grateful, but for me, it has actually been really, really hard. Combined with my children leaving the house in droves over the last few years, having less work to do in my church community has left a void in my life and has made it a challenge for me to focus my energy and overcome all my normal tendencies toward hermit-like behavior. I've found myself struggling with periods of depression, identity crises, loss of feelings of self-worth all sorts of other irrational stuff. I'm not beating myself up, because it has been a major lifestyle change and stress and adjustment are normal when that happens. But I have felt like something was needed. Last spring at a school-wide meeting, there was an announcement that a volunteer was needed to help with concessions for Boosters. I had the feeling then that I should step up, but I think I was hoping the feeling would pass. Then at the end of the summer at Freshman Orientation, they made the same announcement, and I made the commitment. It has been scary and energizing at the same time. I'm starting to get a feel for how much time it will take and also some ideas for how I can organize and shape things, and it feels good to be using my skills in this way again.

And oh yeah, Go Bears!