My 50th Christmas Dawns And I Post All the Pictures

December 25, 2015 • 2015, Christmas, family, missions, travel, Utah

I haven't been keeping a record of all my Christmases, so this being the 50th one isn't hugely significant, but it crossed my mind this morning as I woke early and put on some music. I am back in Utah, where I would have spent my very first Christmas, so there's a little symmetry for you, but other than that, the only thing to remark on this morning is that it's a White Christmas, which doesn't happen too often in Maryland. I woke at 6 am and heard the plows out, which means there was fresh snowfall in the night.

December 21, 2015 • 2015, Christmas, december, family, thinking out loud, travel, waxing philosophical

Whoops, thought this posted last week. This is from early Tuesday, December 15, just before we left for Utah.

Today, my daughter and I leave for another big trip. This time last year I was gone from home for 6 weeks exactly. This time it will be a little less than that, about 28 days.

December 2, 2015 • my faith, service, sharegoodness, what I believe

The headlines and social media feeds are again filled with outrage and outright exhaustion over this latest-to-make-the-headlines tragedy in the US. As I consider what people are upset about, it seems to be centered on the fact that the government and society as a whole haven't been able to prevent things like this from happening. I know that's a generalization, but that's what my people choose to talk about online, so that's the information I have to judge.

October 25, 2015 • 2015, autumn, Evan, leadership, missions, quotes, travel

A week ago Saturday night we got an email from Evan letting us know that he would indeed be heading to Argentina on Monday. There was some question because of a glitch in his visa application, and we were prepared for the possibility of his serving in the US for about 6 weeks while his visa was sorted. Apparently though, he needs to be in Argentina, because something that was expected to take a week to get through bureaucratic channels only took 24 hours.

October 13, 2015 • 2015, audible, audiobook, book reviews, books, fiction, Kristin Hannah, world war 2 stories

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
Fiction
I listened to the audiobook narrated by Polly Stone
You might like this book if you are interested in yet another story about the intensity of World War 2 and how it affected families and individuals. Also, if you enjoy stories about unlikely heroism and finding strength in the midst of impossible scenarios.

October 8, 2015 • 2015, autumn, daily photos, Evan, my red door days, routine, work

I am so grateful for the friendships I've cultivated over the years. I'm not great at cultivation, but it seems that even my little efforts yield lovely things. It matters so much to me that others want to know how I'm doing. I always hope I'll remember to ask about you. If I don't, please remind me.

Here are updates on some of the things:

September 25, 2015 • 2015, blogging, catch-up posts, my red door days, ordinary days, travel

Terry Pratchett says this is why you go away, so that you can come back, and I am back. Since I last wrote on the last day of August, another month has nearly come and gone, and I have been home for 10 of those September days. It will actually be good to be home for the next month.

September 10, 2015 • Evan, I'm a Mormon, kids, missions, motherhood

I never served a mission for my church, but it is a huge part of the culture of people who are trying to live our religion. It's a decision that different people come to for different reasons, and it's always something I admire.

August 31, 2015 • 2015, faith, family, New York City, Temple times, travel

Since I last wrote, lots has happened. The revolving door of our house just keeps spinning, and the time hasn't stopped.

August 26, 2015 • 2015, 49, birthdays, kelsniftyfifty

Last Sunday was my 49th birthday. I think I confused some people when I said in a recent Instagram post that I would be entering my 50th year, but it's true. I have finished 49 years, and have now begun my 50th year. Lots of people use this time as a touchstone, a time to get busy making unfulfilled dreams come true or go to places they've always wanted to go. I love hearing about those kinds of years for people, especially if it means that there is discovery and joy.

August 17, 2015 • choosing optimism, grumpy, headaches, it's going to be okay, sad

I really should just go to bed. Instead I want to process and make sense of things. I woke up with a sick headache that kept me in bed an extra hour and obliterated all my plans of morning routines and running and other productive things.

August 12, 2015 • 2015, choosing optimism, family, illness, Mom and Pop, mom's cancer

Some weeks ago, my mother had a bad fall down some stairs. In the aftermath of that, it was discovered that she has breast cancer. There are masses in her breast as well as in her lymph nodes. She's still being tested to find out any other places it might be. Next week she gets an infusion port installed and thereafter will begin both chemo and radiation therapies to shrink the masses. In a few months, it's likely that she will have surgery to remove what is left.

July 28, 2015 • 2015, Colorado, craftsy, Denver, knitting, teaching, teaching knitting, travel

Most things I write about are little things. No, really, they are. I say that in plainspoken earnestness, not as a martyr or moper. They are important to me, my family, and a few others. They will never affect the outcomes of global events, nor will my little words influence ideological trends. I'm totally fine with that. I promise I am not trying to be dramatic or silly. I have little ambition for big things. But sometimes they happen anyway.

July 20, 2015 • challenges, choosing optimism, daily photos, meditation, photography

Yay Monday because last week was one of those weeks. I know it's inevitable that it will happen, but this was a convergence to be sure. What the heck happened, you may ask? Here is the rundown:

July 15, 2015 • 2015, family, insomnia post, my red door days, photos, thinking out loud, travel, Utah

As a mother, there seem to be certain reflexes that haven't had long enough to slow in the scant year since my youngest left home.

When I heard someone stirring in the wee hours, I woke up immediately to full alertness. It wasn't a big noise, just steps and a door opening, and those sounds came through my closed door and covers over my head. I marvel that I yet have that ability to instantly be aware that something is not right and feel the need to investigate.

July 13, 2015 • birth story, birthdays, c-sections, family, hospital stories, Johnathan

Every so often, I get the urge to tell one of my kids' birth stories. Today is Johnathan's turn. I scanned some photos of his Birth Day and became quite emotional looking at our younger selves, his and mine.

June 21, 2015 • 2015, redminiroadtrip, travel, Utah

It's my last day in Utah. I am presented with an emotional dichotomy, to be sure, because leaving Utah means I bid farewell to mountains and endless skies and lots of my family and friends, but it also means going home to sheltering trees and fireflies and my family and friends waiting there.

June 2, 2015 • eduknit, knitting, tnna, travel

Last night I drove home from Ohio through the hills and valleys of the Allegheny range of the Appalachians. I kind of love exploring with the WAZE app, and it navigated me home from Columbus a different way than I originally went and it was perfect. The distance wasn't any longer, the time was shorter, and there were long stretches with almost no other cars on the road but me. As I got closer to home I slowed down for some giant storms and watched dramatic lightning race across the entire sky. By 9:45, when I drove up to my little house with the red door, the rain had passed by, my family was waiting for me, and all seemed well.

May 27, 2015 • celebrations, family, sam's wedding

Friday night, we started our celebrations of our third child's marriage. We hosted a small, family party at our home. We borrowed tables and chairs, put up some fun bistro lights, and set out the candles and flowers. Friends and family made food, everybody helped prepare the yard and it was really fun. It was important to me that we have time together as a family to mark the fact that in some ways, we are now all part of the same family.

May 18, 2015 • everyday stuff, everything is all right, good times, health, myreddoordays, sam's wedding, thinking out loud

It's still sort of everything, all the time, but mostly, it's the wedding times. Jeff and Ashlyn are here, along with the cutest baby girl I currently know. The guest space I carved out of the basement is working well. There's still more to do in terms of clearing things out, but I'm really pleased at what we made. I actually feel like I have a legitimate offer to make when people come to visit; an area where they can have some privacy and peace. There's a real bed, a comfy chair and light to read by. It's the best I could do right now, and I think it's enough.

May 12, 2015 • 2015, balance, sam's wedding, wedding

After my little rant in the middle of last week, I did want to revisit and tell about the gorgeous parts that happened. It was a great week in a lot of ways. I'm still processing some of the ways it was overlaid by some serious challenges, but right now, looking back just a week, I'm remembering little of the difficulties.

May 7, 2015 • balance, everyday stuff, faith, letting go

Is it really only Thursday? In this house, we've been asking ourselves that question every day this week. It's been a long week. Good, even great, in so many moments, then in the next, challenging in ways that can only be coped with by the maniacal laughing that comes when stuff is so ridiculous you don't merely walk the line, you actually live on the line between fist-pumping fierceness to overcome and the strong desire to go hide in your closet.

April 25, 2015

I found this random hashtag online a few weeks ago that has has been a blessing to me. It's #nozerodays. I haven't taken the time to research the origins or even look at other people's posts so hashtagged, but what it has become to me is another tool in my lifelong, ongoing battle to overcome inertia and perfectionism. I stop doing so many good things and keep doing so many lame things because of unrealistic expectations. This trait of mine constantly frustrates me and frustration has the upside-down effect of paralyzing me rather than motivating me.

April 14, 2015 • family, home, kids, missions, Sara

It's been a week since This happened:

April 3, 2015 • 2015, april, easter, friendship, missions, Sara, thinking out loud

Goodness! My nervous system is on high alert today. I'm so excited for Sara's return on Tuesday but I'm now into the tiny last minute details of wanting her to have a really nice place to come home to. Since we had turned her room into an office, we are remaking it into a bedroom. The flood we had last weekend when our water heater quietly leaked gallons of water all over the two lower levels of our house definitely put me off schedule and I wish I had things more put together for her welcome home. I have to admit I'm kind of upset about not having things perfect (as I define it, ha), but that's generally not the way of life, especially not my life.

March 22, 2015 • briggs-myers, choosing optimism, infp, thinking out loud

Every time I take the Briggs-Myers Personality Assessment, no matter which version, I always end up as an INFP. I like these infographics, used with permission from CPP:

Tendencies.

March 19, 2015 • choosing optimism, hard times, kids, language, TED talks, word fun

I'm extremely grateful you're along for the ride.

March 17, 2015 • 2015, book reviews, comedy, humor, jim gaffigan

Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan
Memoir, Non-fiction
I listened to the audiobook read by the Author. I found it through my local library on Overdrive.
You might like this book if you're a fan of the author's comedy, or if you like humorous memoirs about family life.

March 15, 2015 • 2015, Anthony Doerr, book reviews, fiction, world war 2 stories

All the Light We Cannot See
Anthony Doerr
Fiction
I listened to the Audiobook read by Zach Appelman
You might like it if you like stories about Europe during and after World War 2, especially those told in an unusual way rather than just recounting events, or if you like stories told from an interior perspective, understanding the feelings and perceptions of the characters.

• 2015, family, kids, Sam, wrestling

Grown-up kids are great. They are smart, care about their money (and yours, at least while they're still in college), are doing amazing things, and are living good, productive lives. It does a mom's heart good.

My grown-up kids are all those things, except that they live anywhere from 1800-4800 miles away, so I don't always get all the details of those good lives they are living. I have to remember to ask about the details because it's just not a habit for them to share everything that's going on. I get that, but sometimes I do shake my head a little. Moms want to know some stuff, you know?

March 8, 2015 • change, church activities, friends, friendship, I'm a Mormon, thinking out loud

I'm writing this on a Saturday night but by the time it publishes, things will have changed for Eric and me, and it goes much deeper than just Daylight Savings Time. It has to do with Eric's church assignment. Church is one of the major pillars of my life's architecture, so a change at church is a big change.

March 5, 2015 • 2015, facebook, gratitude, march, social media

This quote from President Monson helped me today so I shared it on the Facebooks.

How can we cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude? President Joseph F. Smith, sixth President of the Church, provided an answer. Said he: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life.” He continued: “Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!”⁹

February 26, 2015 • 2015, California, eduknit, knitting, stitches expos, teaching, travel, Utah

Since I last wrote about 2 weeks ago, I have been working and traveling. This is one of my crazy-long words-and-pictures catching-up extravaganzas, so you might want to get a cup of hot cocoa.

February 8, 2015 • 2015, anxiety, blogging, busy, choosing optimism

I finally realized, due to having to write so much for actual work endeavors, writing here doesn't always feel like the relaxing treat it once did. It feels a bit like another assignment. It still matters to me to write here though, and go through the process of reframing my experiences to extract the good, so I will continue, even if it's in small bites.

January 13, 2015 • 2015, kelsnzadventure2014, thinking out loud, travel

I don't have any new photos to share, I'm not caught up on my New Zealand Posts, nor have I written a a complete paragraph about these last three weeks in Arizona (which includes my son's wedding, for Pete's Sakes!), but tonight, I feel like writing. I definitely detect something in me letting down as I think about the fact that this trip is over.

January 1, 2015 • 2014, december, kelsnzadventure2014, new zealand, redcarpettours, south island

After we left Edoras, or Mt. Sunday, we made our way to the tranquil town of Twizel, stopping by turns at Lake Takapo and Lake Pukaki for spectacular views of the Southern Alps and Mt. Cook. We enjoyed gorgeous weather and had a perfect view of the mountains, framed by swaths of colorful lupines. It was so beautiful it seemed almost unreal, like we'd stepped inside postcards.

We stayed at the McKenzie Country Inn at Twizel and, after dinner and a glorious sunset, I pulled all my camera gear across the street from the hotel and tried to get to as dark a place as I could without a car. New Zealand, and this area specifically, has some of the darkest skies on the planet, but we were in town, so I knew conditions wouldn't be perfect. Plus, I didn't actually know what I was doing. I was winging it, which is the way I learn most things.

Julia and I took a break from each other for the evening, and it was just as well--I was happy to be by myself for a little while. We're getting along great, but we are both introverts, and sometimes just run out of energy to relate to each other. I think she went over to the other side of the hotel to look at the starts. I enjoyed playing around with star photography, and it was a ridiculously big deal for me to see the Southern Cross and Upside-down Orion. I was able to identify a few other constellations, and just reveled in being under the skies down under.

The next day we went to the location for the Pelennor Fields, and it was so expansive under the blue skies. These places really do remind me of the descriptions in the book. One of the best parts of this day was re-enacting the mustering of the Rohirrim. Danny led us and we charged the enemy with bravado and heart! So fun!

We also stopped to note that we are at the 45th Parallel. That's fairly far south, which is pretty cool. We also stopped at another location from LOTR. We had some time to explore, which I loved, and it was cool to match up the views with the footage from the films.

This is where Arwen was riding her horse with poor injured Frodo.

We stopped at a little resort town called Wanaka, located on the eponymous lake. I took a walk on my own, then found a camera store and bought a new lens cap. I've loved my little Fuji camera as much as my big giant camera. I'm glad I brought it all along. This town enchanted me and is definitely on my list of places where I want to return.

Our bus needed some repairs, so of course we took time
for an epic battle.

That evening, we made it to our hotel at Queenstown. This will be our homebase for the next few days, and will be the scene for the breaking of the fellowship, but my word, what a trip it has been!

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