Forty-Nine

Last Sunday was my 49th birthday. I think I confused some people when I said in a recent Instagram post that I would be entering my 50th year, but it's true. I have finished 49 years, and have now begun my 50th year. Lots of people use this time as a touchstone, a time to get busy making unfulfilled dreams come true or go to places they've always wanted to go. I love hearing about those kinds of years for people, especially if it means that there is discovery and joy.

I do have some things I've thought about doing to commemorate turning 50 next year, but I don't think I'll share it. Too much pressure. I think it will evolve as I think about things and reprioritize. A lot of my dreams have come true and if I did actually happen to die today, it would be okay, because I believe it will be easier than ever once I cross over to go see Mt. Everest or go whale watching off the coast of Australia. So, I'm not too worried about the travel, or the milestones.

I'm mostly worried about my health. If I am around, I want to be active and healthy, and I see signs more and more of the things that can happen if I don't take care of myself. I need to see a doctor about the numbness in my hands. I think it's just carpal tunnel syndrome, but it's sure annoying and it gives me a taste of what it could be like to lose the use of my hands. I have numbness in my left foot and leg. I think it's just a neuroma or sciatica, but again, it is sobering to have to adjust activities and change the kind of shoes I wear. As I've droned on about here before, my knees and hips hurt almost constantly, so my body is often on my mind. So, perhaps my primary focus this year will be on staying active, on adjusting to the changes, and learning to live like a middle-aged person.

In spite of these thoughts, the birthday itself was lovely, with many, many wishes on Facebook from all around the world, as well as some very special wishes from people right here. It's nice to be remembered, it actually is. I am looking forward to this year and also to reporting in next year when I'm ready to start my 51st year.