The End of an Era

Tonight, Evan "graduated" from 5th grade. Tomorrow marks the last day of my 14th consecutive year at Bollman Bridge Elementary School. I find myself quite emotional at the thought. I have been breaking into unexpected bouts of tears all year as folks keep mentioning that this is the Nuss family's last year. I have been associated with BBES longer than with any institution or organization in my life other than my family of origin, the church and my marriage. I wasn't even in my childhood ward that long. It will be so strange to drive past and not wonder what my child inside is up to-automatically checking my watch to see if it's lunchtime, or peeking over to see if I can tell which grade is out for recess.

I've volunteered in cycles over the years, always preferring hands-on work with the students rather than PTA stuff. Some years I've been more available than others, but there is value in becoming familiar with your child's teachers and administrators. I've never sought nor received special treatment because of my involvement, but breaking the ice by just being at school gives one so much more of an understanding of what school is really like for a kid, and for a teacher for that matter. I have a lot more respect for teachers than I used to, and I can more easily discern when my kids need to be supported in their little complaints about school and when I need to take the teacher's side. I think I've done 6 memory books, worked in the media center (my favorite, of course) worked one on one with reading recovery, done Math Flash (a flash-card based math recovery program) been the Friday Folder mom at least 6 times, helped with many parties, baked many cupcakes, and taken a couple thousand photos. There are a few people who have been there as long as we have and it really feels like home-like its part of our Main Street world. It has been a foundation of my children feeling like they have roots in the neighborhood, like this really is where they come from. Evan had absolutely no fear of Kindergarten because by the time he started, most of the teachers knew him, the office staff knew him, and he loved going to school with me all the time when he was little. He was my constant companion when I volunteered in the years just before he started. We are so fortunate that, after moving around a great deal in our early marriage, mostly by choice, we have been able to be settled here for so long. This is not one of the "desirable schools" that real estate agents try to point new families to, but it is real, the people are hard-working and there is diversity, which is important to me. I really don't want my kids to know only rich white kids. That is part of the reason we've stayed here.

I guess I can place my emotions in the symbolism of this particular milestone. It means my kids really are growing up, and that the future is barreling toward me faster than I ever thought it would at the age of 20 or even 30. Time is compressing, and this is the evidence. When I think about where I was at the age of 19 and 11 months and where I am now, it's like Harry's first experience apparating with Dumbledore. I've been squeezed suddenly from one place to another and hardly know how I got here. I have a lot of school ahead, and plenty more volunteering to do, but there is just nothing quite like Elementary School. It is so safe, so innocent, so comfortable. The children, while they are growing up faster, really are still pure. I have always felt the spirit in attendance at BBES. So, I will miss it.

I pay tribute to all the people who have had a hand in my children's upbringing, who've helped them, praised them, chastened them, offered opportunities for growth, and been an important part of our family. The public school system is sometimes more exasperating than exhilarating around here, but in the end, it can work. Farewell, BBES...

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Friday and Saturday

I enjoyed the last of the pleasant weather before we get blasted this week. Friday was a very fun day for everyone. I had lovely company during the afternoon while Corinne's boys and then later Corinne and Sheely were at my home. Xavey and I blew bubbles and ran Evan's RC monster truck through the yard. Preston was quite undone by the truck that moved by itself-he was really frightened, but he recovered and had a great day.

Later on, the kids pretty much all had plans--Eric took Sara and Evan to an Orioles game with Grandma and the visiting cousins and Johnathan and Sam hung out at home. Johnathan was supposed to go out with some of the young adults, but he wasn't feeling great after his dental appointment. Whilst my darlings were all happily occupied, I had another great time with Holly. I had the honor of showing her around her first yarn shop. She is a natural with the knitting--she is doing amazingly well, and I'm not just saying that because I know she reads my blog ;o). I've pretty much seen it all as a knitting teacher and she has the knack. She and I then had a lovely night out looking at books, eating and getting started on a sweater for her soon-to-arrive little one. Pretty much the perfect evening!

I miss having my sisters and sisters-in-laws around so much and spending time today with Corinne and Holly eased that pang an awful lot.

Saturday started out with my 8 mile run with Sue. We had a good run-our time was in our normal range and we felt strong. The weather was spectacular-about 60 degrees when we started out and low humidity. I saw three people I know on the trail and that's always fun. After that was my marathon shopping trip for camp. My kids are now being tortured by stacks of Little Debbie treats and cereal in my living room. My colleague in the kitchen is a dear friend whom I've known for years and if the fun we had shopping is any indication, camp will be a blast. More important than the fun was the fact that we worked together and made decisions in perfect harmony. We got about half the shopping done. Some things were way more expensive at BJ's so Patty is going to look at Costco. Some things we'll buy up there near camp in Altoona or Bedford. We'll buy the produce at the wholesale market on the Monday that camp begins. The great thing about doing the food is that I'll be able to observe Sara and see her occasionally, but I can still be pretty invisible to her so she can have her own camp experience.

I spent a horrific afternoon defrosting my very old freezer that we got for 100 bucks about 100 years ago. I'm thinking that I would sacrifice a lot to get a new, frost-free model. There are about a million things I'd rather do than defrost the freezer, thus it doesn't get done often enough and I have to use words like horrific to describe the process when I do get around to it. Uff.

Then we went over the Lurman Woodland Theater. I hadn't been in years and it was just lovely. We had to leave at the intermission because Evan got a headache, but I highly recommend the experience if you get a chance this summer. It is free, and the atmosphere is totally casual-there's a sandbox and a field for kids to play in while the concert is going on, folks are seated all around the stage on blankets and having picnics. There are bathrooms and a concession stand right there, and it's easy to get to. The schedule for the rest of the summer is here. There is all kinds of music and it is a great chance for families to do something together.
I swear I don't work for them, I just really think it's neat.

When we got home we lit a fire in the outdoor firebowl, had our nightly devotional out there, and then watched a movie together. Johnathan went over to a friend's house and all was well in the Nuss household.

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Observations:

Sara and Evan are off with Grandpa and the visiting cousins to Washington D.C. for the day. I am working on camp food as much as I can today. This week has been great. My list has worked like a charm, things have stayed together, and I was even organized enough for a totally impromptu trip to the temple with my good pal on Tuesday night. She called and my first instinct was to say no, but as I looked around, I realized that things were under control and I could go. I had finished my list for the day. It was kind of a wierd feeling. Dinner was made, the house was clean, homework was done, Who da thunk it? One of the guys on Mythbusters once said,"It's almost like we know what we're doing!" That was exactly how I felt when it dawned on me that I could leave feeling totally calm about how things would be while I was gone. It was wonderful to have that time with her. She's in another ward, and so our time together is precious.

When I have a week like this when I'm so busy that I know I need extra measures to keep my on track, I get in a mode where I'm focused and determined, and get so much accomplished and have margins in my day for thinking and serving and relaxing without guilt. When this happens, I always stop and wonder why I don't live my life this way all the time. You would think I would, but I don't. I have to allow the sad realization that I really am an adrenaline junkie. Just like any addiction, I need to work on weaning myself off of it and learning to function without always being one step away from the precipice. Of course it comes from the flawed thinking that freedom means a lack of structure. True principles remind me that freedom always comes from structure, as long as it's the right structure. Order brings peace, disorder brings forced motivation and the rush of the push to get things done combined with the temporary high of being sucessful under pressure. I hope I'm getting wise enough to desire the peace more than the rush.

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Something fun for this weekend

On the campus of my high school in Catonsville, there is a wonderful community amphiteather that hosts free shows all summer, the Lurman Woodland Theater. This Saturday, Al Pettaway and Amy White are playing for FREE! It is a lovely little theater in a grove (my school campus is huge, with much of the old estate it was built on preserved as groves and open fields. Bring a blanket and a picnic and it is great fun. The duo playing on Saturday are amazing musicians and perform in the folk-Appallachain-Celtic traditions, if you like that sort of thing. I don't know if my kids will be interested, but I may try to talk my hubby into a date night.

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Crossing things off

My week got off to a great start yesterday. I pretty much got everything I needed to done and fit in a few bonuses. I'm keeping track of my progress here. The pasta salad, always an adventure, turned out great with leftover chicken, sicilian cracked olives, artichoke hearts, mozzerella cheese, broccoli and orange sweet peppers. I tossed it with a combination of almost-gone salad dressings, so as usual, it was a delicious, but never to be repeated combo. That is the story of much of my cooking because I love to try new things. I was imagining that I looked and cooked like Giada Dilaurentis. I'm pretty sure that is why it tasted so good.

Anyway, I just spent a luxuriant hour really reading my friends' blogs and can I just say again how grateful I am to have sort of stumbled my way into this? There is something about being able to read and then write about life that allows feelings to be expressed and personalities to be discovered in a way that I love. For an introverted homebody like me, it has been a wonderful way to make connections I might never have made otherwise.

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