Project Simplify Project #1 To Have or to Be?

I've been thinking a lot about the phrase in the title as I've worked on my closet this week. It's actually quoted from the title of a book that I bought in my youth at the behest of a friend but haven't picked up in too many years. It's by Erich Fromm and explores the difference between society centered on people and relationships and society centered on always having and getting. As I cleaned out this week, one of the rules was to touch every thing in my closet in order to decide if it belongs in my life. I did and learned a lot:

• Having too much makes it hard to access and use the things you actually do like
• I avoid wearing things that need ironing because my ironing process is cumbersome-it takes a long time to get out the iron and all that. I have a plan to solve that problem, which is good. 
• By simplifying the rules of what makes something worthwhile to keep, I was able to much more aggressively remove things that have not been useful for a long time. 
• I keep things that aren't useful any more because either I fear I might need them at some point, or because I love some sensual aspect of them-the fabric or the way it is made-even if it doesn't fit or flatter me.
• I fall prey to the fantasy that if I wear certain things I'll somehow become a different person-buying the me I want is easier than working to become the me I want. 

I know, deep stuff sometimes. But it is an important thing to get a handle on. It speaks to contentment, satisfaction with life, what I need to be happy and other things. And it's important to remember that "having" refers to stuff other than stuff. It's any thing or undertaking that takes the focus off of people and relationships and living life in the moment rather than always waiting for something to make me happy. I'm grateful for the chance to explore my tendencies and maybe get over some of my need to "have."  Fortunately, I have some balance and know the importance of being and also of people, so I'm not swept away by my stuff. I do feel overwhelmed by it at times, and frankly, that just should not happen. 

So here are the photos: 

Before. So now you know. 

The Sorting. A magic hat would have made it easier but
I'm proud of how I did all by myself. 

This many hangers were freed from their forced servitude. 

After.  It's a good start. I could have been braver, but even
in my cowardice, I filled up 4 large shopping
bags with stuff for Goodwill. 

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Spring Cleaning

I've been hit hard by the urge to purge my stuff. Last week I got a start on my craft supplies and was able to share with friends from church about half of what I was ready to let go. I've already got everything that didn't get taken in my giveaway on Saturday packed up and in in the car. Goodwill is on my list of stops today.

For the next 5 weeks, as the badge to the left attests,  I'm de-cluttering along with simplemom and rather looking forward to it.  I'm up at my usual time and I couldn't wait to see what the hot spot for the week would be. It is...drumroll please...

MY WARDROBE! Ack! It's like she knows me. My closet is a mess-the great closed door on all my clutter skeletons. I love her reasons for starting here rather than with something that seems more critical like paper clutter or the kitchen. She says I should take care of myself first and I'm not good at doing that, so this is a good exercise.

I've just gotten Sara off to seminary and I've already taken my before photos (nope-no cheating or photoshopping-you'll see them here at the end of the week in all their horrid glory) and started gathering my tools. I'm a notorious off-to-a-great-start-then-get-overwhelmed-or perfectionistic-so-I-stop-midway sort of person, so I need to take do this wisely, taking the whole week to get it done and done right. Fortunately I know what to do. I read and dream about these kinds of processes all the time. I just need to keep moving.

Wish me luck! Better yet, come spring clean along with me!

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Sick Day

Evan has strep again. He's always been somewhat of a susceptible kid, getting the worst possible version of whatever is going around, but this is bad even for him (he just had a case of strep about 6 weeks ago). Three others of us are on the edge of being sick, but so far, no fever and other symptoms that Ev is going through. We missed church today and he'll have to stay home tomorrow, so, even though he's nearly 15, time will stop for us and we'll have a couple of quiet days in the house together. Mostly he'll sleep, and I'll be able to step out for some of what's on my calendar, but I actually like the chance to take care of an ailing teen. Sometimes its the only time I can actually do anything for them. I try not to hover and also to stay away from WebMD and the like and just trust my instincts about how they're feeling, when to get worried and all that, but I have to admit it's sort of nice to have them around when they're sick. My husband mocks me constantly about making the immediate leap from a mysterious bruise to something horrible like leukemia, but in some ways, I'm pretty relaxed about sickness, trying at all costs to avoid unnecessary antibiotics and OTC remedies, trying to remember that the best medicine (besides laughter of course) is good old Tincture of Time, and most of all, trying hard to let them stop and rest. It's hard in this day and age, especially for a high-schooler, but it will be best in the long run.

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Book Review: Sylvester

Sylvester
by Georgette Heyer
Adult fiction, romance
I listened to the abridged audio book, read by Richard Armitage (He is a favorite actor, so finding him as narrator helped me to decide to listen rather than read. I usually avoid abridged versions, but this one seemed to be well-edited. It never felt choppy or incongruous. I am curious about what is missing, though, so I probably will find a print version to read)

I first heard about Georgette Heyer from my pal Mendy, who is a prolific reader and always good for helping me find things I've never heard of before. This is my first of Heyer's books and I absolutely enjoyed it. It is a Regency Romance, set in the same sort of time period as Jane Austen's books, and somewhat similar in tone and plot. Heyer is usually called the originator or the queen of Regency Romance. Jane Austen wrote contemporaneously-of the time when she lived, but Heyer wrote in the early 20th century and had to meticulously research her Regency details. Anyway, in that spirit, it was full of the manners of the time, the ins and outs of society and the difficulties of class and gender. It was a fun, dreamy read that kept me completely engaged and wondering how things would turn out.

It is about the eponymous very proper, somewhat misunderstood, highly eligible bachelor and an unlikely young lady named Phoebe. The enjoyably well-paced plot runs on witty lines, misunderstandings, flirtations, lovely settings, bad decisions, wishes, dreams and all sort of happenings-much like Austen-something is always happening, so my interest never waned.

She was a prolific writer, and I look forward to discovering more of her works.

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Watching is Hard Sometimes

The lack of control a mother has is breaking my heart a little bit right now.  Emotions around here are thicker than usual as one kid didn't get accepted to go somewhere, and here is just not where he wants to be. Another kid has lost the record of the whole school-year's work in one class-a class she loves, and we have looked everywhere with no success. The third kid had to endure yet more losses in his chosen sport, and while these challenges seem small in the grand scheme of things, frankly, I'm feeling a little sad about it all. Sadder still that there is no magic wand I can wave to take the frustration away.

We're getting through the days and everyone is functioning, it's just that the edges are a little rough-the margins of our relationships seem compressed and the house feels claustrophobic. I'm trying to respond by maintaining or improving my grasp on the things I can control like making sure we have dinner and daily devotions of prayer and scripture study and that I'm home for the comings and goings. These things do make a difference in the spirit of the home, and remind me that the work of motherhood actually does carve out of the chaos of life a safe, embracing place for people to be when the world is bearing down.

But I still just want all the problems solved. Right now, please.

I have to fight hard to remember that these are battles each one must win for their own self and even if I had the power to stop the troubles, would it be wise to do so? I might feel like a better mother, one who is in control, whose home runs so perfectly that nothing like this would ever happen, but how selfish of me to want the credit and to rob them of the very experiences that will achieve what is supposedly my greatest goal-for each one to grow to their best and most complete self.

And so I watch.
And try to help (when I'm invited, which is not always).
And worry.
And wait.

Ah yes, the hard part.

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