Saturday, January 08, 2011

Good Things

Sam flew back to Utah for another semester of university studies on Monday. Here is how the kids spent their last night of Christmas break: in a companionable game of Settlers of Catan. I always enjoy listening to them play games like this-the joking, the different approaches, the teasing, etc. It is a wonderful little snapshot of their relationship. I'm glad they chose to interact and make a memory together instead of just separating to do their own thing.

Johnathan started classes at HCC on Monday and is keeping busy with homework and a possible job opportunity.

Sara is focused on getting driving experience and is getting better and better out on the road. I don't love the driver training times of parenthood, but I have a lot of patience with them while they are learning-it's kind of ironic. I struggle to have patience with many other aspects of teenage-hood, but I'm a compassionate and supportive driving instructor. It must be something about wanting them to feel happy, calm, confident and capable while I'm strapped with them into a 5000-pound instrument of death. Yeah, something like that.

Evan "won" his wrestling match on Tuesday by forfeit, then lost yesterday in the first round of a tournament. He lost again today, but  I think he's satisfied with his experience as a wrestler thus far. He knows that this year is largely about gaining experience since he's never done it before.

For myself, I decided to go for the fun. I paid my tuition this week and am registered for another class at HCC during spring semester. Just one class on Tuesdays again. This time it will be basic photography, with film. I'm excited to step back into the world of film and see if I can even do it.  It's been 5 or 6 years since I shot film. Digital has taken so much of the risk and technicality out of photography that this will be like flying with instruments only. No chimping  by looking at the screen on the camera, no delete button, no 50 images just to get the one picture I like of a kid's smile or an apple in a tree. I'm looking forward to an adjustment of my mindset, a narrowing of my parameters, and going through an organized system of learning photography rather than always learning in the moment by what the situation requires. Not that there isn't value in that, it's just that I hope to find and begin to fill in the blank spaces in my knowledge.

I also have a new knitting contract and am working every day on that, in addition to the final re-claiming of the house from the happy chaos of the holidays. I'm starting to feel a little more in control, though there is still a lot of purging and sorting to do in the wake of everyone receiving new treasures for Christmas.

I've started and abandoned 3 or 4 blog posts over the last little while because I'm trying to process some hard things right now but don't really like to put a lot of negative stuff out there in the public zone. It has been somewhat therapeutic to write and rant and edit and write some more and consider just saying what's really on my mind, then decide it is better to look at the bright side. It always is, actually. Toward that end, tonight I attended a wonderful church meeting that is held twice a year just for adults. It is always an oasis of calm and quiet in the midst of life's craziness. This evening,  we heard messages on the importance of love, forgiveness, and the constancy of God. It was a balm to my currently troubled soul. I finally felt some insight into how to deal with some problems I've gotten stuck on and move forward.

That is definitely a good thing.

4 comments:

  1. Wow, your kiddos are growing up! So good to hear from you my friend. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling at this time, but happy to hear that clearly the Lord is with you and delivering to you the messages that you need in your time of struggle. BIG HUGS

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  2. Lots of good things - helping people learn to drive, knitting, sorting things out. Mostly I want to hug you and talk to you soon.

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  3. Yay for taking a class for fun. :) I'm wishing you the best in sorting out the hard things, and thank you for sharing some of the good tings with us.

    P.S. I'd hazard a guess that you are a lot more patient and compassionate than you give yourself credit for--even when you life isn't in a teenager's hands! ;)

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  4. Thanks for the lovely update. I ought to think about things before I post too, because I post so little it tends to be mostly negative! I don't love that. I think you are great.

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Thank you for sharing your insights!