One of my good friends and I sometimes process the ups and downs of life by pretending to trade back and forth an imaginary prize for being the biggest loser-mom or biggest loser-friend or just for being the most generally lame. Then we trade our sad stories of woe and heartbreak, end up laughing (or occasionally cackling maniacally) and feel better.
This week I win, hands down. I am definitely the WINNER for being the biggest loser, and not in the yay-weight-loss sort of way. This is in the actual-stupidity sort of way.
Don't worry, I know I'm not an actual loser, but I've just gotten past the worst part of a completely avoidable, frustrating situation and my heart is truly heavy over it. Somehow it feels right to just let the big L hover over me for a minute, like the Dark Mark, for all to see.
It doesn't matter too much what happened, but I have learned some things.
- A good cry really does help.
- I REALLY, really, really want to always be forgiving and assume people are doing their best even when they make big mistakes.
- Once you do your best to make things right, it really is a choice to either move on or stay stuck.
- I'm better at the latter, but am going to turn around and choose the former this time.
- Next time, I'll do better.
- And last but not least, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me...