- What am I excited about today?
- What is my biggest priority, what will I do about it and when?
- How will I know today was a success?
I found these question did not relate seamlessly to my real life and I am giving myself permission to rewrite them to be perhaps more effective.
Today, I am excited about...well, there's the rub. Nothing sounds fantastic. Everything seems to have a string attached because it's just one of those days of crossing things off the list. Some of the things are annoying, like getting to the bank for a new debit card. Some are hard because I want to do such a good job that I get stuck being a perfectionist. Some are just normal, everyday things.
I think a better question for me is, What can I choose to get excited about today? Can I choose to have fun putting together Sam's birthday package and make it personal and full of my love and feel good about the fact that I'm in a position to send him gifts and that we have a good relationship instead of letting the fact that it will be late because I didn't mail it last week ruin it for me? Yes, I can, but it won't be easy. Can I choose to be grateful that my debit card was shut down instead of actually stolen and that I didn't lose any money even though I have to go stand in line at the bank today? Yes I can, and I can be grateful that I'm reading a good book right now.
With the second question, that is SO annoying for me. EVERYTHING always seems like a number 1 priority. How do I choose between doing a favor for my husband who is always so supportive of me, getting to the bank, getting my son's package out, getting ready for the knitting I'm teaching at young women's tonight, working on a photoshoot, and making a dessert for my son's lacrosse banquet? They all HAVE to get done. Today.
A more relavent question for me might be, What will I decide will be my biggest priority today? Then I can let my values help me decide rather than just expediency and urgency. I value relationships more than anything, so if I do the things that will help me feel that I've strengthened a relationship, that makes it easier to choose what to do first. If I stay sane and buy brownie bites at BJ's instead of putting pressure on myself to make something from scratch, that will, in the end, be more rewarding.
The third question is a big problem for me because one of my unique opportunities for growth in this life is overcoming the deep-seated view I have of myself that I'm never a success. There it is. I never feel successful. Not really. I have small successes, sure, but they are always overshadowed by my failure to reach imaginary, unreachable cosmic benchmarks that I've apparently set for myself to measure success. They come from comparisons to others, society, parental influence and things like that. I pretty much walk around most days feeling like an idiot in some way. Even when great things happen, I talk myself out their greatness. I know. You're right. It's not rational and it's the most idiotic thing I do. The good news is that the rational side realizes that my personal path in this life really is to get over that one thing.
Thus, my revised version is What can I choose to be a measure of success? Since nothing will automatically make my mind think, "Good job!" I have to choose for myself to think it about what I do accomplish.
So, here I go. I'm excited about the pleasant weather and my peonies blooming. I'm excited about my 5 mile run/walk yesterday. I'm excited about Evan being the high scorer for the JV lacrosse team and getting 17 goals during the season. I'm excited that I have already seen praying mantises in my garden.
My priority is to open my heart and go forward with faith rather than fear, to look for the good, to be kind to everyone and accept them as they are and recognize their greatness and thus treat them well.
My measure of success will be to get the laundry all folded and put away. That dream can come true. :o)
Onward. May you have a day full of choices that help you realize that you too are awesome.